So how honest do you want your SO to be..........

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
in Chit-Chat
In regards to your body?

So be honest, or sugar coat it?

Discuss.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies

  • piratemerdi
    piratemerdi Posts: 212 Member
    If I ask if I look fat, the worst thing a guy can do is say "yes". If something honestly doesn't look good, I'd rather them just say that they prefer something else over it. I don't want to be insulted, but I also don't want to wear something that isn't flattering.
  • djames92
    djames92 Posts: 990 Member
    100%
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Absolute honesty.
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
    Blunt. He sees me through rose coloured glasses, though.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Blunt. He sees me through rosé coloured glasses, though.

    That is a good thing.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    100% honest!

    But I also don't ask questions I don't want to hear the answer to. I would never ask 'Does this make me look fat?' Instead I would ask 'Does this look good on me?' or something like that.
  • tlesa88
    tlesa88 Posts: 56 Member
    Definitely honest. Luckily my boyfriend is on here going through the same thing I am so we are both very open with each other. It has helped tremendously to not be doing this by myself :)
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    Tactfully honest.

    This applies in all areas: if he's mad at me, if he doesn't like something I've cooked, if he doesn't like how I look. If he wasn't honest I would worry about the extent that he was preserving my feelings. I'd rather know the truth so I can deal with it head on.

    That said, tact goes a long way in making the truth palatable.
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    He sees me through rose coloured glasses, though.

    My husband does too. It's kind of nice since I tend to be very hard on myself. At least ONE of us likes me! :laugh:
  • TooLeftFeet
    TooLeftFeet Posts: 139 Member
    I'd love it if he could see me objectively. My mind's eye is quite critical; his eye is genuinely rose colored. I wish when I mentioned wanting to work on certain things, I could believe him when he says don't change anything at all.
  • parvati
    parvati Posts: 432 Member
    If I ask a question, I always want an honest answer...
    That being said, if I want honesty, I can't hold it against him if I don't like his answer!!! Lol
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    100% honest!

    But I also don't ask questions I don't want to hear the answer to. I would never ask 'Does this make me look fat?' Instead I would ask 'Does this look good on me?' or so so something like that.

    I couldn't but think of this commercial, :P

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPX2cQP8uoI



    And to answer OP, I would rather my wife be honest. I need the reality check.
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    Tactfully honest.

    This applies in all areas: if he's mad at me, if he doesn't like something I've cooked, if he doesn't like how I look. If he wasn't honest I would worry about the extent that he was preserving my feelings. I'd rather know the truth so I can deal with it head on.

    That said, tact goes a long way in making the truth palatable.

    This!
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    I'd love it if he could see me objectively. My mind's eye is quite critical; his eye is genuinely rose colored. I wish when I mentioned wanting to work on certain things, I could believe him when he says don't change anything at all.

    This. Exactly.
  • TheConsciousFoody
    TheConsciousFoody Posts: 607 Member
    Honest. Because I am 100% honest with him, even if he doesn't like it all the time.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    100% honest, this works both ways...
  • fmebear
    fmebear Posts: 172 Member
    I am fortunate that my husband is honest but tactful. LOL!!! I appreciate it immensely but yet even when I was my heaviest last summer he was still telling me I was beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful but he made feel special. Now, with some weight loss I love how he "eyes' me and makes me feel so sexy.
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
    Lie your *kitten* of, tell me I look fantastic, since it doesn't really matter. Tell me I look terrible, I'm just going to think you're an *kitten*. Tell me I look amazing, I'm gonna think you're lying through your teeth.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    I don't want 100 % honesty. And i don't usually offer 100% honesty when it comes to body issues. We all have insecurities, i'd rather not have the man in my life point my flaws out.
    I try not to ask questions that would put people in a position to lie, though.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    I want honesty, but it can be done without cruelty. My husband said he was moving out if I didn't lose some weight, and told me I am repulsive. I am only one size bigger than I am in all my pics, and it's from having a baby. But when he and I met, I was actually three sizes smaller than I was in those pictures.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I once had a "does my dress make my butt look fat, is it too tight moment at work". The woman I worked with said "honey, in italy we have a saying--you look like ten lbs of sugar in a five lbs sack--meaning you're all good but it's just tight on you but still looks good." That's the kind of thing I'd like to hear. That and when he sees a really thin girl walk by and whispers "eat a cheeseburger".

    Recently I told him I wanted to make muscles on my thighs the fastest growing muscle i have so I can boost my metabolism and he goes just your arms and your tummy a little everything else can stay the same. LOL. Tummy a LITTLE? wholy moly no it's gotta go. and everything else should not stay the same, but he's sweet for saying it.

    LG-POUR-SOME-SUGAR-T-SHIRT.jpg
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    Honest, especially if I ask.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Lie your *kitten* of, tell me I look fantastic, since it doesn't really matter. Tell me I look terrible, I'm just going to think you're an *kitten*. Tell me I look amazing, I'm gonna think you're lying through your teeth.

    See, man-eater.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    Tactfully honest.

    This applies in all areas: if he's mad at me, if he doesn't like something I've cooked, if he doesn't like how I look. If he wasn't honest I would worry about the extent that he was preserving my feelings. I'd rather know the truth so I can deal with it head on.

    That said, tact goes a long way in making the truth palatable.

    I'd say this ^ Honest, but tactful. The truth can be told and feelings also preserved, if done right :laugh:
  • Jubee31
    Jubee31 Posts: 93 Member
    Honest, but said in the right way. If he's a jerk, I won't listen. But that works both ways....I can't be a jerk to him either.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    In regards to your body?

    So be honest, or sugar coat it?

    Discuss.
    So tired of being sugar coated that it goes straight to my hips instead of my head, can't take a compliment seriously anymore.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    i want them to be honest but aware and tactful. i will never "does this make me look fat?" because i don't want to hear a "yes." instead, i'll ask if they "like" the outfit or if there is something in my closet/something i could do to look "even better." :)
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I want complete honesty about everything.
  • stephross88
    stephross88 Posts: 846 Member
    Honest but not harsh. Here is a story...my boyfriend of almost 9 years had a very bad addiction to pornography. It was so bad that it was effecting our relationship. He once looked at me up and down, disgusted; and told me I was the reason that he was addicted to it. He also smashed a McDonald's double cheese in my face...SO...I would say that it your SO should be honest but in a way that protects your feelings.
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
    Honest but not harsh. Here is a story...my boyfriend of almost 9 years had a very bad addiction to pornography. It was so bad that it was effecting our relationship. He once looked at me up and down, disgusted; and told me I was the reason that he was addicted to it. He also smashed a McDonald's double cheese in my face...SO...I would say that it your SO should be honest but in a way that protects your feelings.
    Wow!! Isn't amazing people can be so hurtful...Honestly if someone did that to me they would be hurting!!

    I agree honesty is great but with compassion thrown in for the other person's feelings!! I wouldn't ask if something makes me look big..I already know...that question was invented to be lied to. I will ask if something looks good on me...If the answer is no then its not a big deal.

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