RANT about the "skinny fat" body shaming on here.

24

Replies

  • petiteMom289
    petiteMom289 Posts: 26
    I don't judge others but I know how you feel. I am 4'10" and if I go above 110lbs my body has very visible fat (I am also a apple shape. My bmi is still good, but my bf is high) I know I am not "skinny fat" though because I strength training 3 times a week and cardio 1 day. I am very fit at 105lbs. I'm just struggling with getting my bf down and I know that it is due to not having a completely clean diet. It's probably about 85% clean at this point. I've been working on the "last 10lbs" since my youngest was born 2 1/2 years ago! I look okay in my clothes too but haven't worn a two piece in over six years. THIS summer will be the summer. Oh and people ALWAYS tell me "you don't need to lose weight" or something along those lines and it's very frustrating! I know what I look like under these clothes and the way my clothes feel on me and I don't like it.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    I'm 140, 5'4'' and my stomach sticks out farther than my (D) bust which in my mind is quite fat. Yet people always tell me how I'm too thin or I don't need to change anything. Its very frustrating, so no you are not the only one going through it. You just have to learn that no one understands you struggles/issues better than you so what others have to say about it is almost negligible.

    I get you! It is frustrating. Even though your pics are GORGEOUS :love:
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    Based on your photo, I wouldn't even consider you as skinny fat. Sure, you may have "higher" amount of fat mass, but that alone does not make a person "skinny fat."

    Don't give up and get involved in activities you like, preferably moderate-to-heavy weight training along with a sensible diet so you can fine tune your body composition to a favorable spot.
  • horseplaypen
    horseplaypen Posts: 442 Member
    The other thing that makes me a little frustrated when you post about trying to lose fat (but not necessarily weight) is when you get people saying, "wow, I would kill to be that small, you should just love yourself and be happy with the progress you've made!"

    I get that it's well-intentioned (unlike the comments you're talking about) but wanting to be healthier and fitter in a 'skinny' body is just as much of a goal as wanting to obtain said 'skinny' body to begin with!
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    Here's my two cents worth.

    First and foremost YOU have to be OK with the way your body looks. I used to obsess about my body image - thanks to one obese grandma and one anorexic one. One taught me to love myself and one taught me to hate myself. I've struggled with it since I was a pre-teen.

    I lost a bunch of weight cutting calories and doing lots of carbs. I got to my goal weight and was still unhappy with the way I looked and through my own disgust, gained half of the weight back. So, I started a weight-lifting program and got down to my goal weight again. I like the way I look, but STILL see room for improvement - but only when I'm nekked! People tell me all the time how I look great and that I don't need to lose any more weight - but what people don't understand is that I've gotten REALLY GOOD at picking out clothes that are flattering to my body at the weight/body fat % that it is.

    This isn't about them, it's about you. For me - more muscle definition would make me happier, which means decreasing my body fat % while increasing my lean muscle mass. For others, it might mean something different.
  • IamBorg
    IamBorg Posts: 49 Member
    Who am I to judge your journey? I may not understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't show you the same respect that I'd hope you'd show me. Everyone has their own path. It seems like instead of judging, trivializing, minimizing, or insulting a journey beyond our understanding it is better to seek understanding or at the very least, acknowledge that each person's journey is unique.

    I haven't weighed 130-something since I was probably around 12 years old. To me, that seems like a perfectly reasonable weight. However, I recognize that someone who feels healthy at 110 would be unhappy at 130, and may actually be unhealthy at that weight. Even as I acknowledge this, I admit that I don't understand it. How could I?

    My struggles and journey are different. Not more valid, not "worse", just different. I support you in your journey to good health, whatever that may mean for you :).

    (P.S.- I do despise the term "skinny fat" because I feel like it demeans both those who overweight and those who are not overweight but do have health problems. Weight and body fat are not the only causes of any medical condition or disorder. However, if you choose to use the term, I won't judge you :). )
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.
    you're not skinny fat. 135 lbs at 5'1 actually make you mildly overweight for your height.


    There is a lot of different opinions on what skinny fat means, so I'm happy to drop that label. Generally, my body looks thin and slender, and my dress size is pretty small. What I'm saying is that this can be deceiving and has nothing to with anyone's health.

    The second point I make is that just because someone isn't very heavy, doesn't mean their experience is any less significant :smile:
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    Who am I to judge your journey? I may not understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't show you the same respect that I'd hope you'd show me. Everyone has their own path. It seems like instead of judging, trivializing, minimizing, or insulting a journey beyond our understanding it is better to seek understanding or at the very least, acknowledge that each person's journey is unique.

    I haven't weighed 130-something since I was probably around 12 years old. To me, that seems like a perfectly reasonable weight. However, I recognize that someone who feels healthy at 110 would be unhappy at 130, and may actually be unhealthy at that weight. Even as I acknowledge this, I admit that I don't understand it. How could I?

    My struggles and journey are different. Not more valid, not "worse", just different. I support you in your journey to good health, whatever that may mean for you :).

    (P.S.- I do despise the term "skinny fat" because I feel like it demeans both those who overweight and those who are not overweight but do have health problems. Weight and body fat are not the only causes of any medical condition or disorder. However, if you choose to use the term, I won't judge you :). )

    You worded that amazingly, much better than i ever could have :smile: thank you...
  • lizzardsm
    lizzardsm Posts: 271 Member
    I think you were misinterpreting what people were saying. Most were saying things like how gorgeous you looked or:

    "There is absolutely nothing wrong with your body. You are at a healthy weight, and you have a normal amount of body fat for a girl your age. Some people when using the term skinny fat, are talking about your body type, but then when an actual person posts a pic of themselves, then they all say you look great. "

    You really are quite lean. I'd look at these photos for some examples of skinny fat.
    http://fivehourfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/skinny-fat-female-model.jpg
    http://www.herdaily.com/health/11082/when-is-skinny-unhealthy.html

    With that said... If you want to go into a cut phase and lose some of your body fat to look leaner - then great! Absolutely go for it! No one on MFP will attack you for that!

    Or perhaps you managed to take a really flattering photo of yourself - If that's the case, then cool (and it sucks that you are skinny fat)! Bulk up some muscle and then go into a cut phase to add muscle mass and lose body fat.

    But based on that 1 photo you posted, you were definitely not in the skinny fat category. Perhaps in the - I'd like to cut body fat and increase muscle mass group. I think that's what people were trying to get at...
  • trb85
    trb85 Posts: 81 Member
    "Skinny fat" doesn't mean a thin/normal weight person who is unhealthy or who doesn't exercise. That's just an unathletic/unhealthy/whatever person.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.
    you're not skinny fat. 135 lbs at 5'1 actually make you mildly overweight for your height.

    ^^This. I'm 5'2" and I'm overweight at 135 and it's not skinny fat, it's plain fat. People told me I looked fine at 135 but looking at pictures now I can see I was anything but fine. I guess it depends where you're coming from. My daughter in law is 240 and thought I was skinny at 135, my nieces are about 90 lbs soaking wet and thought I was fat. Bottom line is, who cares what other people think? Do what makes you happy.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    I think you were misinterpreting what people were saying. Most were saying things like how gorgeous you looked or:

    "There is absolutely nothing wrong with your body. You are at a healthy weight, and you have a normal amount of body fat for a girl your age. Some people when using the term skinny fat, are talking about your body type, but then when an actual person posts a pic of themselves, then they all say you look great. "

    You really are quite lean. I'd look at these photos for some examples of skinny fat.
    http://fivehourfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/skinny-fat-female-model.jpg
    http://www.herdaily.com/health/11082/when-is-skinny-unhealthy.html

    With that said... If you want to go into a cut phase and lose some of your body fat to look leaner - then great! Absolutely go for it! No one on MFP will attack you for that!

    Or perhaps you managed to take a really flattering photo of yourself - If that's the case, then cool (and it sucks that you are skinny fat)! Bulk up some muscle and then go into a cut phase to add muscle mass and lose body fat.

    But based on that 1 photo you posted, you were definitely not in the skinny fat category. Perhaps in the - I'd like to cut body fat and increase muscle mass group. I think that's what people were trying to get at...


    Thanks for your input.

    I didn't make this post to sound like I'm offended about comments as if they're a personal attack on me. I wanted to speak on behalf of folks that have bodies like mine, and shed some light on the issue. :)
  • Burlesque12
    Burlesque12 Posts: 177 Member
    When I say "skinny fat" I am referring to the body that is at a goal weight but no lean muscles. Thats skinny fat. Someone who is thin but jiggly. We all have different perceptions for what is attractive. I personally dont think it is, so I dont want to be that. You cant get mad at others' opinions. Also, you say your thin, but 5"1' and 134 is not thin. Since you put out your post Im just being honest.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    hmm..i didnt expect this.


    Good luck on your quest for self improvement.

    If you ever want to talk heavy lifting and how it helped my body, hit me up.

    i started this at 40, and cant believe the difference it has made in my body.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Can you imagine the backlash if people were to go ewwwwww over someone's "normal fat" photos. Not on.

    Agreed!
  • baotzu
    baotzu Posts: 28
    I still think a lot of people don't really get what "skinny fat" even means. Maybe it would be easier to just call it "internal" fat instead b/c that's what it is.

    External fat is what we can see, what people are calling "normal fat." It's what makes your pants size go up/down.
    Internal fat is what you can't see, what people are calling "skinny fat." It's what coats your organs and impairs their performance.

    No, that's not what it is at all. You couldn't be further from the truth.
    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.

    This is the definition of skinnyfat. This is exactly it. Nothing more, nothing less.. any other definition is wrong. Period.
  • michaelalouise3915
    michaelalouise3915 Posts: 124 Member
    The people who have been derogative and not constructive ("ewww" - i mean really?) Will be by no means perfect themselves. Remeber that.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    When I say "skinny fat" I am referring to the body that is at a goal weight but no lean muscles. Thats skinny fat. Someone who is thin but jiggly. We all have different perceptions for what is attractive. I personally dont think it is, so I dont want to be that. You cant get mad at others' opinions. Also, you say your thin, but 5"1' and 134 is not thin. Since you put out your post Im just being honest.


    Actually, I am thin with clothes on :) I know that better than anyone else, because I have my body.

    And I CAN be mad when other people make comments that are not productive or helpful to people going through struggles with their weight and health on a forum like this.
  • calisunrise
    calisunrise Posts: 307
    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.
    you're not skinny fat. 135 lbs at 5'1 actually make you mildly overweight for your height.


    There is a lot of different opinions on what skinny fat means, so I'm happy to drop that label. Generally, my body looks thin and slender, and my dress size is pretty small. What I'm saying is that this can be deceiving and has nothing to with anyone's health.

    The second point I make is that just because someone isn't very heavy, doesn't mean their experience is any less significant :smile:
    well, do you have any photos of yourself dressed?
    i don't think size 6-8 is small for a 5'1 female too. actually, most size charts put 6-8 as a size for a 5'5-5'7 lady:

    http://i00.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/022/525/468/468525022_356.jpg
  • JenRunTriHappyGirl
    JenRunTriHappyGirl Posts: 521 Member
    I get you! With the right pair of underwear and jeans, I have a flat tummy. I could fool anyone! (I have become quite a pro at it). People can be rude. Anyone that is on MFP has a reason. For most people that reason is to get healthier. No matter if you weigh 300+ lbs or 110 lbs, healthy is the goal. I wish everyone would remember that. In todays day and age it is extremely hard to be healthy. Everywhere you look is a fast food place. Hell, healthy foods are even more expensive than the not healthy foods. It doesn't matter how much or little you weigh, being healthy is hard. People really need to remember that.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.
    you're not skinny fat. 135 lbs at 5'1 actually make you mildly overweight for your height.


    There is a lot of different opinions on what skinny fat means, so I'm happy to drop that label. Generally, my body looks thin and slender, and my dress size is pretty small. What I'm saying is that this can be deceiving and has nothing to with anyone's health.

    The second point I make is that just because someone isn't very heavy, doesn't mean their experience is any less significant :smile:
    well, do you have any photos of yourself dressed?
    i don't think size 6-8 is small for a 5'1 female too. actually, most size charts put 6-8 as a size for a 5'5-5'7 lady:

    http://i00.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/022/525/468/468525022_356.jpg


    I am really reluctant to justify how "thin" I am on here, because that is actually irrelevant to the discussion.

    But I'll try to find something. <- Actually, editing this out.

    No, I don't care if you think I'm not thin. I'm not posting a photo to prove myself. You have your opinion, that's fine :smile:

    It doesn't really matter what I look like, but the reality of my situation is that everyone who can SEE what I look like, says I am thin. Very rarely do people understand that I have a problem, apart from some of the wonderful supportive people on here! :heart:
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I posted my picture and my experience, and a lot of people said I have self esteem issues.

    Are you really saying that because my body is not visibly what society thinks of as "overweight", that I have mental issues instead? That I have a psychological problem or body dysmorphia? That is so discouraging, negative, and extremely annoying.
    Wouldn't that be the opposite of body shaming?
  • michaelalouise3915
    michaelalouise3915 Posts: 124 Member
    I wouldnt post a photo. You dont have to prove anything.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    I wouldnt post a photo. You dont have to prove anything.

    Thank you.
  • Ruthannlandsman
    Ruthannlandsman Posts: 4
    I understand what you are saying. Im in the same boat. Dont let all those negative vibes get to you. Keep up the good work!! Its all worth it in the end!!
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
    I'm five foot 1 and weigh around 140ish...overweight and not that toned.....but you know what....I think I look great and don't give a fiddlers **** what people think....stop worrying about others and just crack on with what you want to acheive....best of luck....x
  • michaelalouise3915
    michaelalouise3915 Posts: 124 Member
    I wouldnt post a photo. You dont have to prove anything.

    Thank you.

    Everyone carries weight differently. You know if you look slim :)
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I sorta wish we could stop all of the body/weight/lifting/slut/gender/preference shaming in general, but the internets are where shaming comes to breed. Find a good group of pals and just remember that it's super easy for people to be crappy anonymously.
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    You tell it, lady! :) I can understand the frustration. There needs to be a lot less judgment out here and a lot more support. :) Good luck meeting your goals. You'll get it done. It's hard when people look at you and assume that you're healthy based on how you look. Isn't always the case. I also think of people with disabilities that aren't visible to the naked eye as the same type of thing... don't judge until you know.

    :flowerforyou:
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    I think the issue is that many people assume a body that looks relatively good (especially in clothes) must also be relatively healthy.

    You can't really blame them for that - even the medical community can't reach a consensus on what a healthy body would definitively look like.

    MFP is simply an extension of the real world not Narnia...

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