Embrace the pain... but don't forget your spotters!
MireyGal76
Posts: 7,334 Member
I just had a sort of epiphany...
I am going through a rough patch right now, a divorce in progress, learning how to manage a single life with kids, and a relationship with an ex that has proven to be quite challenging.
I've been spending some late nights working through issues and shedding some tears, and have posted things in my blog and on my wall to help me cope and work through this process. This morning, I realized something that I wanted to share... I hope that maybe it's a message someone else can use too.
* * * * * * * * *
Just as physical strength and health is important, so is emotional strength and health.
Physical strength is achieved through hard work and determination and persistence. There are days when you push through the exhaustion, where you keep going in spite of how you feel. And that is often when you have your biggest gains. This path to physical strength is a lonely one, in that only YOU can build it. Only YOU can do the work that will see you become stronger.
Emotional health is not much different.
I won't grow emotionally if I don't push my own weight, if I personally don't do the work. I need to push through the emotional pain. To face it head on and attack it. I need to stop running from the pain, and instead choose to embrace it, knowing that it makes me stronger. And as a mother, I need to be as strong as I can be for my girls - to help them learn the same. To be that model for them as they grow up.
This is going to be a heavy lifting week for me emotionally, and I fully expect to be complaining about DOMS. (It's like the hate on for leg day). But just like you don't want to lift heavy without some sort of safety net (so you don't get injured), I know that I am not going this alone. My friends on here, and my close family members, are my spotters - to help me push through when the weight is crushing my chest.
My dear friend, Yoovie said it incredibly well:
I just want to encourage people to realize that emotional pain is not always something to run from... that pain is a perfect way to grow in strength... just make sure you have your spotters!
I am going through a rough patch right now, a divorce in progress, learning how to manage a single life with kids, and a relationship with an ex that has proven to be quite challenging.
I've been spending some late nights working through issues and shedding some tears, and have posted things in my blog and on my wall to help me cope and work through this process. This morning, I realized something that I wanted to share... I hope that maybe it's a message someone else can use too.
* * * * * * * * *
Just as physical strength and health is important, so is emotional strength and health.
Physical strength is achieved through hard work and determination and persistence. There are days when you push through the exhaustion, where you keep going in spite of how you feel. And that is often when you have your biggest gains. This path to physical strength is a lonely one, in that only YOU can build it. Only YOU can do the work that will see you become stronger.
Emotional health is not much different.
I won't grow emotionally if I don't push my own weight, if I personally don't do the work. I need to push through the emotional pain. To face it head on and attack it. I need to stop running from the pain, and instead choose to embrace it, knowing that it makes me stronger. And as a mother, I need to be as strong as I can be for my girls - to help them learn the same. To be that model for them as they grow up.
This is going to be a heavy lifting week for me emotionally, and I fully expect to be complaining about DOMS. (It's like the hate on for leg day). But just like you don't want to lift heavy without some sort of safety net (so you don't get injured), I know that I am not going this alone. My friends on here, and my close family members, are my spotters - to help me push through when the weight is crushing my chest.
My dear friend, Yoovie said it incredibly well:
I find that pushing through the exhaustion and the weakness in the gym, working against my own doubts in my head and proving to myself over and over and over and over again that I am stronger than I realize and more every day- IS making me mentally and emotionally stronger, and more emotionally responsible. It's proving to myself that I am physically strong that directly causes my mental strength to bloom beautifully.
I'm strong, I prove it to myself every day.
I'm up against something impossible? Well then, I'll start working on it right now and I WILL get there, because I KNOW ME.
I just want to encourage people to realize that emotional pain is not always something to run from... that pain is a perfect way to grow in strength... just make sure you have your spotters!
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Replies
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Extremely well put! So often in life we allow a combination of pride and fear to rule the present state which leads to abandonment of who we are and down the path of depression. No one WANTS that. Realize the greatness, take action to succeed in all forms of life.0 -
Thanks for the post. I know you are strong inside and out. But we all need support from our friends, families and loved ones. We need to know there are people out there that have our backs in case we fall. Got you back hon. Hugs. :flowerforyou:0
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You know how amazing I think you are and this just proves it more! I admire your inner and outer strength!!
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i'll second the applause.
you are strong, inside and out, sandy. and having been through my own emotional pains--in recovery, post-breakups, daily struggles with anxiety/OCD--i know that growth and strength often come from hardship. makes the good stuff that much sweeter.0 -
This is one of my favorite topics ever, the phenomenon where your physical strength and determination and gains and lessons learned all soak into the rest of your life. When you're finding yourself warming up to handle the big stuff, bracing yourself, talking positively in your head to get through it and then shoving through - no matter if there are tears just running down your face.
It's like this with facing the ugly decisions we don't want to make, when facing the knowledge that we can't go through life avoiding all pain - whether it is causing it, enduring it or both. We can only fortify ourselves, be responsible for ourselves and keep a clear head.
If we panic, that's when we twist off the path and injure ourselves, sometimes very badly. But if we breathe, brace, visualize the movement and stare at the horizon, we'll be able to move that mountain. 0 -
This is one of my favorite topics ever, the phenomenon where your physical strength and determination and gains and lessons learned all soak into the rest of your life. When you're finding yourself warming up to handle the big stuff, bracing yourself, talking positively in your head to get through it and then shoving through - no matter if there are tears just running down your face.
It's like this with facing the ugly decisions we don't want to make, when facing the knowledge that we can't go through life avoiding all pain - whether it is causing it, enduring it or both. We can only fortify ourselves, be responsible for ourselves and keep a clear head.
If we panic, that's when we twist off the path and injure ourselves, sometimes very badly. But if we breathe, brace, visualize the movement and stare at the horizon, we'll be able to move that mountain.
^^ love
+1
HELLYEAH!0 -
hope the week goes well for you0
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thank you for this! Beautifully put!0
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When you're finding yourself warming up to handle the big stuff, bracing yourself, talking positively in your head to get through it and then shoving through - no matter if there are tears just running down your face.
If we panic, that's when we twist off the path and injure ourselves, sometimes very badly. But if we breathe, brace, visualize the movement and stare at the horizon, we'll be able to move that mountain.
As opposed to BEFORE we started trying to make our bodies stronger - when we would run into something cold and half-cocked, fueled by the wrong motivations, after avoiding it for as long as possible and listening almost adoringly to every single doubting/negative voice in our heads...
nods nods yup. better equipped to handle life now.0 -
:flowerforyou:0
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You are such a strong woman! You'll get through all the struggle and come out stronger than you have ever been. I was right there with my mom when she and my dad went through their divorce. It was hard, but she is stronger and happier than ever now. You'll get there, just be patient and do things for yourself! Make time for you 0
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AMEN. Sometimes we spend more energy running away and pretending we're dealing with it than just hunkering down, breaking down, and figuring it all out. You are already leagues ahead of the game -- you recognized that you needed to tackle this stuff early, for you, and for your kids. KUDOS. I can speak from experience -- some people NEVER get there, and my parents are good examples of that. They're still married, still miserable, and still unable to face their issues (as individuals, or as a couple).
I've spent a long time slogging through mine...but just recently started thinking that I still have some work to do. It's natural for me to push harder, push more, push a littler farther, all the time. But after hitting a wall yesterday, I realize that I have to find a balance between pushing for pushing's sake ("I'm not good enough right here, I'm not doing enough right now") and pushing toward something I actually want that brings me JOY. I'm not sure I'm good at knowing the difference. And that's gotta change.
I applaud you for going down this hard road with insight and determination, AND bravery. Even when you're sobbing in the corner, remember that warriors cry too. ((HUGS)):flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
You are one of the strongest people I know... You've got this hun! And I'm here to support you all the way! You are a rock star Now get out there and hit it head on and make **** happen! You are the best
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Thanks0
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Well put and thanks for that - and Yoovie too!0
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Thank you for posting this... I might have to print it out so I can refer back to it when I don't think I can go any further (physically or emotionally).
I wish you the best of luck in everything.0 -
You're one of my real life heroes.
I'm not lifting emotional stress anything like you are but I've got some head-in-a-vise, responsibility-overload stress, and I will apply this perspective to handling it. Thank you so very much for sharing this.0 -
Very well said, I am going through some emotional traumas myself right now I have been made redundant and my 1st boyfriend since splitting up with my husband 5 years ago just dumped me and I don't know what I would have done without my close friends and as you said you need to embrace the pain in order to grow no matter how much it hurts and believe me it hurts but well done on getting this far, stay strong and you can do it :-)0
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Love your analogy! Going to have to look at this from time to time. Thanks for sharing.0
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You are one of the strongest people I know... You've got this hun! And I'm here to support you all the way! You are a rock star Now get out there and hit it head on and make **** happen! You are the best
One more reason my friends are amazing!0 -
Just wanted to say thank you to all who've read and responded with your own insights. Your perspectives and feedback brought tears to my eyes.
And - on a side note - this is one of the reasons why I firmly believe that MFP is NOT on the decline. 0 -
bump0
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I really needed to see this today. Thank you.0
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Thank you for sharing.0
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Hi GF my husband bought me a beautiful silver ring with engraved hearts on the outside and on the inside part of the inscription is = embrace the pain=
I always took that to mean push through- go farther- ignore the pain and feel the burn
I too have been having difficult emotional stuff come up in my own mind as of late in respect to some bad family issues and my mothers passing a couple years ago- stuff that I gained weight over because I didn't face it ..... now it is coming back and I am not gonna eat over it I am gonna face it head on and attack it.... I am gonna embrace that pain...
I can't thank you enough I am sure your sharing has touched many people in a positive way
U my friend are one courageous chick!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Well put, best wishes to you on this journey0
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I love this analogy - and like you I am very thankful for my emotional spotters - we sometimes forget to ASK them to spot us - which is very important to remember - they are there - and most of them do want to help us :-)
Thinking of you this week and wishing you strength in all you do :-)0 -
This is one of my favorite topics ever, the phenomenon where your physical strength and determination and gains and lessons learned all soak into the rest of your life. When you're finding yourself warming up to handle the big stuff, bracing yourself, talking positively in your head to get through it and then shoving through - no matter if there are tears just running down your face.
It's like this with facing the ugly decisions we don't want to make, when facing the knowledge that we can't go through life avoiding all pain - whether it is causing it, enduring it or both. We can only fortify ourselves, be responsible for ourselves and keep a clear head.
If we panic, that's when we twist off the path and injure ourselves, sometimes very badly. But if we breathe, brace, visualize the movement and stare at the horizon, we'll be able to move that mountain. :smooched:
much much needed today0 -
Wonderful. Been there in the dark0
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:flowerforyou:
bump0
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