Online dating e-mails.

MM_1982
MM_1982 Posts: 374
in Chit-Chat
OK ladies and gents.. what's the funniest, best, worst, epic (good or bad) e-mails you've received online.

I received a first email where the woman mentioned that she just quit drinking due to getting a DUI the previous weekend. WTF?!

Replies

  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    too funny, well not really,
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
    I have been asked numerious times if I want a sugar daddy that will do anything for me or if I want a slave... hrmmm, pretty sure that wasn't in my profile.
  • susannahsutton1
    susannahsutton1 Posts: 372
    A response to my profile that basically said about all the things I am interested in/like to do "I have never tried/done x,y,z etc but I want to learn so that I can be with you"

    Intense much?
  • MurphysLawTD
    MurphysLawTD Posts: 310 Member
    I went out with a guy that was seemingly normal via email...he was obsessed with model trains? I mean, it's cool to have a hobby but...IDK. Sheldon Cooper and I didn't work out.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    She sent me a break-up email. It said she can't see me anymore becuase I've strayed her away from the church. She needed to go back to Jesus.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I had one before from a woman propositioning me for a three-some with her husband. She answered an online dating ad. (It wasn't at a swingers site lol).
  • MurphysLawTD
    MurphysLawTD Posts: 310 Member
    OH!!! Wait...I just remembered. One of the things I said was I was NOT interested in anyone with kids. Well, this guy ripped me a NEW one and demanded I give him a chance eventhough he had a daughter. I SAID NO!!! Why are you so insistent - YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!!!
  • NZhellkat
    NZhellkat Posts: 355 Member
    Spam mail: Do you want to increase the sized of your P***s? :huh: Um....nope cause I don't have one of my very own. And Hubby needs no help with his either. Epic Fail. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • greyoutside
    greyoutside Posts: 98
    I had my profile set up to show that I was just looking to chat and make friends... and I STILL got a couple of messages from couples who were looking for a third person for a threesome.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    SO this guy messages me. I don't respond right away because... well... he seemed dreadfully boring and I was working up my give a damn so I could respond to his message.

    It took me about a day. The site I was on has the dating section and then a forums section. That night I logged onto the forum and there was the guy who'd messaged me earlier. He JUST started a topic complaining about women who don't respond to his emails. He KNOWS they're online because he sees them responding to threads in the forum SO WHY AREN'T THEY ANSWERING HIS EMAILS!

    I was like: Woah. *delete* And never did respond. Pssssycho. I think all dating sites should have forums. To weed out the crazies.
  • caroldot
    caroldot Posts: 388 Member
    I had one before from a woman propositioning me for a three-some with her husband. She answered an online dating ad. (It wasn't at a swingers site lol).

    I had this too! Not sure how she found me - I'm set up for MEN....ONLY!!

    I also had a guy that kept contacting me - when I finally said no, he replied telling me I had sexiest legs he'd ever seen and offered me $500 to just let him kiss my legs. When I still responded NO, he upped the offer to $1000!! At that point, I considered....haha - just kidding!! What a weirdo! There are some freaks out there!

    Online dating is entertaining to say the least!
  • hph442
    hph442 Posts: 319 Member
    Well I'm pretty sure the guys whole profile was a joke, but his ending phrase was 'Please contact me if you've run out of inmates in prison to email'.

    I requested a pic from another guy and he sent me a photo of himself in a pink bra.

    Needless to say I'm done with online dating. I'll take the weirdos on MFP any day.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    I have been asked numerious times if I want a sugar daddy that will do anything for me or if I want a slave... hrmmm, pretty sure that wasn't in my profile.

    Id take a sugar daddy if he was hot.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Yes, there are really strange people out there. Had a guy write, I didn't respond, he wrote back & was yelling (all caps) & ranting about why I didn't respond. I still didn't respond. Then he wrote back all sorry & pleading & begging (WTF!). I still didn't respond. As if!
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    I have been asked numerious times if I want a sugar daddy that will do anything for me or if I want a slave... hrmmm, pretty sure that wasn't in my profile.

    Id take a sugar daddy if he was hot.

    How *you* doin'!

    I'm one of those secret millionaires *wink wink*.. want to come over tonight?
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I have been asked numerious times if I want a sugar daddy that will do anything for me or if I want a slave... hrmmm, pretty sure that wasn't in my profile.

    This might be me admitting some of my own online activity, but if your name in other places is the same as it is here, the slave folks might only be seeing the DOM part of your moniker.....
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    I've never been accused of being "full of myself" before - ever. So I had to screen shot this one. I no longer use dating sites. So it's old, but still funny.

    After I said I wasn’t interested, he decided to save some face and say we didn’t have much in common, despite the fact that he sent the 1st message. Then he came back days later (I promise I sent NOTHING after) to tell me I’m full of myself. My message is in gray. Like he couldn't deal with the rejection - it was still eating him up inside.

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v235/cru5h/lmfao_zps5913ea64.png

    Thanks to this response, and ones that just won't let it go, I never responded to messages of people I wasn't interested. I've had guys send a message, then - no kidding - 5 minutes later send another one either trying to be funny and make me respond, asking why I didn't respond, or telling me what a b!tch I am for not responding. NOW I wanna date you, right!
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    I have been asked numerious times if I want a sugar daddy that will do anything for me or if I want a slave... hrmmm, pretty sure that wasn't in my profile.

    Id take a sugar daddy if he was hot.

    How *you* doin'!

    it does sound tempting. :)

    I'm one of those secret millionaires *wink wink*.. want to come over tonight?
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    I have been asked numerious times if I want a sugar daddy that will do anything for me or if I want a slave... hrmmm, pretty sure that wasn't in my profile.

    Id take a sugar daddy if he was hot.

    How *you* doin'!

    I'm one of those secret millionaires *wink wink*.. want to come over tonight?


    it is tempting!
  • MizKittyB
    MizKittyB Posts: 47 Member
    My favorites are the ones who get angry and insulting because I won't give out my number. (Because I don't use a cell phone anyway.) Gotta love the logic. Yes, Mr. Complete Stranger, you go on with your bad self and call me nasty names because I don't know you from Adam and won't give out a number I don't use. Let me know how that works out for you, mmmkay? (And yes, name-calling and THEN expecting me to cave and give out personal contact information to someone who portrays themselves as very unstable? Not gonna happen.) :huh:


    My other classics are the ones who try and 'neg' -- unsuccessfully -- and can't seem to pick up on my sarcasm. "Golly, I'd hate to fall below the expectations of a person I've never met." Those get shared among friends for the lulz. :drinker:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    My favorite emails to ignore are always the ones that ***** about online dating in the first message.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    My favorites are the ones who get angry and insulting because I won't give out my number. (Because I don't use a cell phone anyway.) Gotta love the logic. Yes, Mr. Complete Stranger, you go on with your bad self and call me nasty names because I don't know you from Adam and won't give out a number I don't use. Let me know how that works out for you, mmmkay? (And yes, name-calling and THEN expecting me to cave and give out personal contact information to someone who portrays themselves as very unstable? Not gonna happen.) :huh:


    My other classics are the ones who try and 'neg' -- unsuccessfully -- and can't seem to pick up on my sarcasm. "Golly, I'd hate to fall below the expectations of a person I've never met." Those get shared among friends for the lulz. :drinker:

    Neg?
  • RobfromLakewood
    RobfromLakewood Posts: 684
    She sent me a break-up email. It said she can't see me anymore becuase I've strayed her away from the church. She needed to go back to Jesus.

    I've never online dated, but think it sounds like the best way to meet someone nowadays. But this rang so true, the woman I was seeing before my wife told me something similar, that Jesus wanted her to save souls, not marry me. 'SYMPATHETIC' friends had comments like, 'at least you lost her to a better man' and 'you were seeing Joan of Arc.'
  • MizKittyB
    MizKittyB Posts: 47 Member
    My favorites are the ones who get angry and insulting because I won't give out my number. (Because I don't use a cell phone anyway.) Gotta love the logic. Yes, Mr. Complete Stranger, you go on with your bad self and call me nasty names because I don't know you from Adam and won't give out a number I don't use. Let me know how that works out for you, mmmkay? (And yes, name-calling and THEN expecting me to cave and give out personal contact information to someone who portrays themselves as very unstable? Not gonna happen.) :huh:


    My other classics are the ones who try and 'neg' -- unsuccessfully -- and can't seem to pick up on my sarcasm. "Golly, I'd hate to fall below the expectations of a person I've never met." Those get shared among friends for the lulz. :drinker:

    Neg?

    Basically, to insult a woman so that she'll pay attention to you. (See also, "*kitten*")
    http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit-negs/
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    My favorites are the ones who get angry and insulting because I won't give out my number. (Because I don't use a cell phone anyway.) Gotta love the logic. Yes, Mr. Complete Stranger, you go on with your bad self and call me nasty names because I don't know you from Adam and won't give out a number I don't use. Let me know how that works out for you, mmmkay? (And yes, name-calling and THEN expecting me to cave and give out personal contact information to someone who portrays themselves as very unstable? Not gonna happen.) :huh:


    My other classics are the ones who try and 'neg' -- unsuccessfully -- and can't seem to pick up on my sarcasm. "Golly, I'd hate to fall below the expectations of a person I've never met." Those get shared among friends for the lulz. :drinker:

    Neg?

    Basically, to insult a woman so that she'll pay attention to you. (See also, "*kitten*")
    http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit-negs/

    Did they get this idea from Barney Stinson or what???

    *smh*
  • Serenitytoo
    Serenitytoo Posts: 449 Member
    I once had a guy email me asking if I would be a birthday present for his Mistress... :huh:

    There are some awful ones out there, but there are some good ones if you wade through all that other stuff :laugh:
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    People still use emails?
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    I once got this weird message on plenty of fish from this crazy lady detailing some weird fantasies but it was fine because she was sufficiently hot to negate the crazy,
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I would never admit to using online dating.

    Edit: Not worth the strike
  • wigglypeaches
    wigglypeaches Posts: 146 Member
    My favorites are the ones who get angry and insulting because I won't give out my number. (Because I don't use a cell phone anyway.) Gotta love the logic. Yes, Mr. Complete Stranger, you go on with your bad self and call me nasty names because I don't know you from Adam and won't give out a number I don't use. Let me know how that works out for you, mmmkay? (And yes, name-calling and THEN expecting me to cave and give out personal contact information to someone who portrays themselves as very unstable? Not gonna happen.) :huh:


    My other classics are the ones who try and 'neg' -- unsuccessfully -- and can't seem to pick up on my sarcasm. "Golly, I'd hate to fall below the expectations of a person I've never met." Those get shared among friends for the lulz. :drinker:

    Neg?

    Basically, to insult a woman so that she'll pay attention to you. (See also, "*kitten*")
    http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit-negs/

    Did they get this idea from Barney Stinson or what???

    *smh*

    Relevant xkcd: http://xkcd.com/1027/

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