Are we teaching our kids to be too sensitive?

People are tooootally too touchy with their kids now! When I was a kid, invitations sometimes went around and it hurt when one didn't come my way, but my mom took the time to teach me that they have their friends, I have mine and that everyone can't be invited along to everything. We were broke, so I understood that other mommies couldn't afford to invite me AND all those other kids.

What really grinds my gears though, is when some parent tells ME I can't do something infront of their child because the kid isn't allowed to. I'm sorry...I thought I was an adult and able to make my own decisions while the kid is...a kid...and is to be told "no". I find it's rare you hear children being told that word anymore and when someone in the world does for the first time, they are Sooooooo upset!!

In short, I think learning about loss and disappointment and differences at a young age is extREMely important. Parents are supposed to be the people preparing the child to become their own individual, an adult and a good person. How are they going to become this if they're accustomed to being hidden from anything that might "hurt their feelings" until they get into the real world?

RANT COMPLETE!

I will hate to see what happens when our kids enter the real world where you have winners and loosers in sports and business, when you dont get invites t oevery thing your friends do

FFS my daughter didnt get an invite to here friends party, why kids will b kids, yea she was upset, we explained that it doesnt mean alot and that this time next weed it wont matter, and you know what?

they were best friends by the following wednesday again.

I'm so over the way we cant do this or cant do that becasue we might hurt some ones feelings

take a table spoon of concreat and harden the hell up

I love it when someone barges in and starts going "have you ever been the parent of that kid who wasn't invited?", you're exactly what we're talking about, the people who teach their kid that they're special above everyone else, not just special to you, but so special that they shouldn't be excluded or not-included from anything the other kids are/aren't.

I'll tell you now, I was the least popular kid my entire school life, I went from grade 1 through year 10 before I gave up and left the education institute, later to return as adult, but irrelevant. Some kids are just stuck in that situation, for example I was segregated in a difficult way, my father was an ex-con with tattoos all over his body, single father and every other teacher and single mother saw that and made immediate judgments upon his character. Not only this but those judgments made their way through them, to the kids and then me. How this effected me? well, imagine if someone starts a fight with me in the playground? I became the instigator. If something was stolen from a bad in the classroom? first suspect. Someone broke a toy or such and didn't immediately own up? you know who's getting interrogated first, because the absolute most obvious answer is the kid with an ex-con father, I mean it couldn't be the kid with a 2nd-coming-of-Jesus complex his mother gave him, could it? or the kid who's single mother on welfare somehow buys him the latest cloths and etc.. every week, worth hundreds of dollars?

Nope, definitely the kid who sits in the corner and says nothing, draws no attention to himself and never EVER fires back because he knows he'll never win, etc..
Trust me, if someone's rejected, they get used to it, they analyse what it means, how it came about and adapt accordingly, even if they're 6 years old, THEY WILL GET IT. Unless of course they're taught not to, all the time, and instead have mum/dad go and kick up a fuss every time their kid feels upset because reality smacked him in the face.

It's creating a whole new generation of mental disorders, just as kids being stopped from playing in sand pits now and stopped from touching animals is compromising immune systems since they're too clean and never develop fundamental immune system anti-bodies. They aren't going through the usual loop of rejections and social problems and end up wanting to end themselves at age 15 when hormones make the feelings THAT much worse.

you ever been the parent of the ONE kid in the class not invited? I have, it is pretty horrible let me tell you and i am not one for making my kids soft, but he has ADHD and PSD and Mothers are quite often judgmental biatches and he is now 20 years old, with a good job and I am proud of him, but being the ONE kid that doesn't get invited? really? you would be OK with that if it was you? its OK if there are several others not going, you can explain that really easy, but the one?

This is upsetting to me.I would never allow my child to do this but on the other hand I'm not inviting 25 kids to a pay per child birthday party.

I'm planning a birthday party for my daughter now,she's turning 8.I am allowing her to pick three kids from school and one girl who is her friend who moved away,the rest are relatives.

And I will be emailing those in her class who are invited to avoid hurt feelings.

As far as not talking about it,That's a lot to ask of children.

Ugh I feel bad for you! My mom used to deal with this ALL time, and if it got to a point where an angry parent would come to " tell you " why didnt my son/daughter get invited, then its theirs problem....

why doesnt the mom mail the invites ?

I don't know about other nationalities, but americans definitely are. In Brazil, you're taught since you're little that certain people are not going to like you, and if they don't, they wont want you near them, and you learn to deal with it. You move on. I'm bipolar, and my reactions can be PRETTY extreme and I can get upset easily, but even so, I've never gotten upset over a birthday party or things like that. I just think, hey, they don't like me for something, let me go talk to them to find out what, or hey, they don't like me, and I'm not their biggest friend, so forget about it.

Kindergarten and not all kids get invited to the party? I have never known anyone who does that. Grade 3 or 4 it starts to be friends only or same sex only. All kids are friends in kindergarten. Maybe we're just nicer people here.

If all the boys but one is being invited that would IMO be hurtful to the child left out. I know that the child uses curse words alot but if you really take into consideration that the child is in Kindergarten meaning he is what 5-6 y/o? That behavior comes from somwhere.. Maybe he is having a hard time at home. Maybe he is subjected to alot of cursing or fighting or even abuse. That being the case the child probably feels alone enough being left out is going to just make matters worse. Maybe if he is included and feels wanted it will make a good impression on him one that he might not be getting anywhere else.


Best luck to your sister with this situation.

Yes, I dread the day my daughter goes to school. I wonder when school stopped being about education, and started being about feelings, and a social testing ground for certain ideas? They are talking about expanding the hours of school here. I wonder why myself, they are already not teaching the kids enough with the hours they do have, it seems school has become less about reading, writing, and arthmetic, and more about "team spirit" and "sensitivity to others". I guess we need to give our kids one more hours of knowing how to treat each other and that will solve all of our problems.

Home schooling. I know several people who do it because they want their kid to actually get an education instead of being programmed to be a drone in society.

Absolutely we (well, you people. idh kids) are. Just take a look around you at the people who are already grown whose parents raised them to have zero accountability and blame everyone else for their failures. These people are breeding. It's bad news.