Chuck Norris....

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2

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  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
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    Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

    Ha!
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Vh-Chuck-Norris-Was-Born-On-May-6th-1945.jpg

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  • spidey11186
    spidey11186 Posts: 141 Member
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    chuck_norris_knots_big.jpg

    Boyscouts?!?!? That's a surgeon's knot!! Nice! lollol
  • spidey11186
    spidey11186 Posts: 141 Member
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    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    tumblr_m0gk85QRiW1qef5dbo1_500_zpsc95a8159.jpg

    Now you are my new favorite.
  • davidpearly
    davidpearly Posts: 177 Member
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    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room, the bear isn't dead just afraid to move

    Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land
  • davidpearly
    davidpearly Posts: 177 Member
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    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi-trucks gas tank as a joke....that semi-truck is now know as Optimus Prime
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    when life gave Chuck Norris lemons, Chuck made life apologize.
    Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
    Chuck Norris died in 1997, but the Grim Reaper is afraid to tell him.
  • tinabatinaflc
    tinabatinaflc Posts: 98
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    this is hilarious!
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    Chuck Norris can:
    • successfully divide by zero... resulting in a new number so mindblowing, your eyes would melt if you saw it.
    • rhyme 'orange' and 'purple'.
    • make 'life' apologize when it gives him lemons
    • unscramble scrambled eggs
    • make guns sleep with his picture under their pillow for protection
    • count to infinity... twice
    • grow iron sheep and knit sweaters out of their steel wool
    • safely jog on the Autobahn... in the middle... towards oncoming traffic
    • sharpen razor blades with his beard
    • contain 20 gallons of 'whoop-*kitten*' under his 10 gallon hat
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  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of saying that sometime corn just needs to lie the f**k down.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    Let's do the time warp again!
  • LilOlMe69
    LilOlMe69 Posts: 89 Member
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    My 15yr son has a shirt which says ....Champions, the cereal of Chuck Norris! Love it! :)
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
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    :glasses: Chuck Norris sold his Soul to the Devil for his Rugged Good Looks and Unparalleled Martial Arts Ability.

    Shortly after the Transaction was completed, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Devil in the face and took his Soul back.

    The Devil - who appreciates Irony - couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.

    They now play poker every Second Wednesday of the month.:drinker:
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he goes to bed.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Let's do the time warp again!

    tumblr_lmpmrrDLYb1qbz6ixo1_500.gif
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    chuck-norris-jeans.jpg

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  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
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    :drinker: Awesome!!

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