too many invites to church

I think giving your kids proper education and critical thinking skills/ common sense is all the protection they ever need. Let him go to church and even buy him a copy of the bible. Kids can be surprisingly good at detecting bullshyt

I had something like this happen with family.
I and my wife are complete non-believers, Atheists, if we wish to assign a label.

For a few years, my wife's aunt would consistently buy my kids religious gifts on Christmas..........and they were blatantly religious, no subtlety about them. The first year, I blew it off. The second year, I kind of groaned. The third year, I had to have a direct conversation and let her know that her imposition of their beliefs on my kids was offensive.

She completely understood, and backed off. Despite the importance of religion to her, our family relationship was not strained, and she was completely apologetic.
I understand that you wish to maintain your friendship, but they also need to recognize boundaries.

If they can't respect these boundaries, then it may be time to have a hard look at your friendship.

It's your kid be honest with them. I think you are lucky to have a neighbor that your lid can play with - BTW.

If it was me, I would go once with my kid and check it out. 30 years ago I did that, and it turned out to be an awesome time.

Have you asked your son whether or not he enjoys going? I grew up in a non-religious household, however, for a while I went through this phase when I was about 9 or 10 where I ALWAYS wanted to go to church with my Mormon friend and her family would always invite me along. It wasn't because they thought our family was heathens or anything...it was just a nice thing to do. I think I just loved the community aspect of it. Maybe your son enjoys it too?

Also for what it's worth, I remember being told (by other kids) as a child from a non-religious household that I was going to hell since I my family didn't go to church. It has had absolutely no lasting negative effects on my life or my religious beliefs today. I wouldn't worry about it so much, unless it really bothers you and you are opposed to your son going, then you could sit down and talk with the parents.

Paint a giant pentagram on your front lawn - I bet they will stop asking.

In all seriousness though - treat them like you would expect to be treated and have a blunt (but friendly conversation) about the subject in hopes of reducing the frequency of the invites. Most logical people (understandably, if they are "hardcore" Christians the logic may be missing) would understand your POV and reduce their invitation behavior accordingly.

I think giving your kids proper education and critical thinking skills/ common sense is all the protection they ever need. Let him go to church and even buy him a copy of the bible. Kids can be surprisingly good at detecting bullshyt

This. I was a churchgoing Christian. Until I read the bible.

It's kind of like speech - the best response to speech you don't like isn't to shut it down - it's more speech.

So, wait, they just came to take him without you agreeing to it?


You're not taking my kid anywhere without my permission. IDGAF where you're going. Whether it be church, Disney World or to meet Jesus himself. If I don't explicitly say yes, he's not going.

^^ This x pi x infinity!

I am agnostic bordering on atheist. I grew up going to church all the time. I think there are a lot of positive things about the experience.

I would say let him go to church (assuming he wants to) then encourage an open and honest discussion that spurs him to think for himself and not just be spoonfed beliefs

My parents let me go to church (various denominations) with various friends as a teenager. I was invited by my friends, though. Their parents really had nothing to do with it other than agreeing to give us rides to church.

I thought it was kind of interesting to see the similarities and differences between them and my parents weren't threatened by it. I was never "converted" by any of these groups and never really felt pressured. Interesting experiences and I feel like I may be more tolerant and open-minded to different views because of it.

However, I think it's kind of inappropriate for people to be trolling other people's little kids, though. It wouldn't bother me if my kid's friend invited him to church activities, but it would probably bother me if the friend's parents were directly recruiting my kid without talking to me about it.

I dont think they are trying to push anything on your son. I agree with another post that there are many activities at churches for children and it can be fun. I strongly believe that you should leave this completely up to your son. If he wants to go, let him. Also if he wants to be a Christian or any other religion, let him. I think these are things you should leave to your child.

I'm assuming your son's friend still wasn't home/with his parents when they showed up to take him to church? I would be very, very bothered by that as well.

Overall though, we're in a similar situation. My daughter is 11; the neighbors' kids are 10 and younger, 3 girls and a boy. They are very religious and home schooled. They invite my daughter to a lot of church functions (and they have invited me in the past, but I told them "I'm not into that kind of thing" and that was the end of that, lol) and she likes to go. Sometimes the oldest girl isn't with them, but my daughter likes all the kids, so it's no big deal. If it were just the parents... that would be very upsetting to me.

I think it's great for my daughter to learn that other people have different beliefs and they're still good, cool, nice people to hang out with. If she was coming home and telling me that she was threatened with hell (or that I was)--from someone other than a small child--that would be very uncool. Once when she was 9 or so, some kid-friends of the neighbors' kids told my daughter she was being "immodest" because she was wearing a tank-tini bathing suit and that she shouldn't do that, and that ruffled my feathers a bit--this was from an older child, maybe 11 or 12 at the time.

But anyway, we talk about what they believe, and what I believe, and what other people who we don't even know believe. Learning about religions is a good thing, in my mind, but that slight pressure or assumption on the part of your neighbors was inappropriate. Lots of time the girls next door will mention they're doing something churchy later and then when the time comes, they'll come over to ask if my daughter wants to/can go, they're leaving, but again--it's the kids.

But! As someone else said, I think, I would feel this way no matter WHAT they were going off to do--if it was just the parents and no kids. I can't think of a single reason why someone would need to go anywhere alone with my kid unless I'd asked them to.

If your son loves going, like you've stated, i suppose just let him go. Myself and My husband are Atheists and we raise our 2 children in a secular household. I was raised as a Catholic so i had to attend Mass every Sunday and go through the motions of being a Catholic Girl (Eucharist/Communion/Baptism ect).....When i got to be around your sons age i started doubting all forms of religion, especially christianity (since that's what i knew). However, i still had to attend Mass. When i got into High School the only way out of attending Mass was if i went to Church with another friend. That i did. I attended Baptist, Non-Denominational Xitian, Lutheran ect. I turned out completely fine, but i have come away from it as being staunchly Atheist. I even Major in Religion/Philosophy.

Sit down and talk with your son, he's old enough to at least know what you and your husband believe in and that he is old enough to see for himself and test the waters so to speak as to what he feels is right for him. When my children are his age, if the subject comes up i'll let them attend church if they wish. But, i would also talk with them about what they learned at said church and what my thoughts on it were as well. Currently my mother undermines me and talks to my son about god and jesus. I didn't realize it until recently because he asked me about God and Jesus and i found that a bit odd since we don't talk about it home. But, i sat him down and explained some people believe "x,y,z" and others believe "a,b,c" and left it at that. He's too young to be fed all of that, i feel.

Hopefully nothing weird comes from all of this. Like the other posters said: have a chat with the neighbors about how their actions of simply showing up announced to take him to church made you feel undermined and uneasy and go from there. Good Luck.

I think that it is a good plan to just talk it over with the neighbors in a friendly manner. If you have been friends for two years, your son has gone to church with them in the past and enjoyed it and the boys had not had a chance to see each other that day, the dad may not have thought a thing about inviting and picking up your son. Whatever activity your children are going to, each and every time they are going, requires your approval as the parent. Familiarity can blur those lines, as it does with my son & his friends. It's fine to set limitations - whether you, your husband and your son decide those are going every Wed night, going once a month, going only when your son comes to you and specifically asks to go or not going at all - just let them know it bothered you that you didn't know he was leaving until they came to the door.