Husband's cooking is BAD and it's straining our marriage

_noob_
_noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
in Chit-Chat
Seriously, he won't let me do any of the cooking even though his creations are usually TERRIBLE. I just sit there playing with my plate and act like I'm not hungry and try to be polite as I can. Some nights I'll call in for pizza during dinner because I'm so HUNGRY from avoiding his food. I tell the delivery guy to dress in UPS clothes to try to hide my intentions, but I know my husband can smell the pizza on my person when I get back.

I track all my food on MFP along with him, and sometimes he checks my phone to see what I've eaten for the day. After the first day he saw I'd tracked some pizza hut pizza and inquired I had to start logging my meals as "quick added calories" to hide it. I just told him it was stuff I was too buzy to log, but wasn't anything bad like wheat or dairy.

I love this man, but I'm afraid of harming his fragile ego (he has mental problems, but I love him anyway) if I just told him that his cooking choices suck. The rest of our lives together is wonderful.

I know JUST BREAK UP!, but what would you do?

Replies

  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Hi, Matt's wife.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Hi, Matt's wife.

    ^^this...

    oh and remind him....happy wife, happy life....

    and you probably need more protein.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    Hi, Matt's wife.

    yeah, this would have been a great thread for a catfish account...
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    Can I join this menage-a-trois pizza fest? :wink:
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I HATE YOU!
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    Can I join this menage-a-trois pizza fest? :wink:

    sadly, my husband would kill me if he knew I was not 100% paleo and indulged in pizza...
  • bethanytowell
    bethanytowell Posts: 256 Member
    lol loved this! saw your husbands post, nice to see married couples having fun with each other.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    How does it feel to be a trollop Cheryl? Airing your junk in public like a STRUMPET?
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    How does it feel to be a trollop Cheryl? Airing your junk in public like a STRUMPET?

    you're just mad because I beat you in arm wrastlin.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    I saw your husbands post, and I read his profile and noticed he said he gets his nutrition from you. Just tell him he's sucking the life outta you and you have to compensate by whatever means necessary.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    How does it feel to be a trollop Cheryl? Airing your junk in public like a STRUMPET?

    Did the mods remove the junk pics already? Feel free to PM me. :wink:
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    [.
  • lacurandera1
    lacurandera1 Posts: 8,083 Member
    I came here so hoping this was Weese.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    You clearly need a pool boy who can cook
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I came here so hoping this was Weese.

    She's sick, and also:
    tumblr_mb6hb1PjAB1r0fmub.gif
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    I saw your husbands post, and I read his profile and noticed he said he gets his nutrition from you. Just tell him he's sucking the life outta you and you have to compensate by whatever means necessary.

    I was going to suggest a couples cooking class, but this is way better.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    His beef stroganoff just drives me out of the house for DAYS...(shudders at desk).
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
    You clearly need a pool boy who can cook

    I don't need one, seeing as I don't have a pool but I sure would LIKE one! :bigsmile:
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    You clearly need a pool boy who can cook

    A couple actually offered me a similar role to this. I had to be naked though.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    You clearly need a pool boy who can cook

    A couple actually offered me a similar role to this. I had to be naked though.

    Don't do it or you'll end up locked in a basement :cry:.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    His beef stroganoff just drives me out of the house for DAYS...(shudders at desk).

    Well I wouldn't have to beef stroganoff if you would fulfill your marital roles.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    His beef stroganoff just drives me out of the house for DAYS...(shudders at desk).

    Well I wouldn't have to beef stroganoff if you would fulfill your marital roles.

    WITH THE ATTITUDE...sheesh.

    We wouldn't be airing all this dirty laundry if you'd let me cook in the first place...but no, you blamed the two slices of homeade bread that I made for you each day for your gaining 60 pounds in the first month of our marriage.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    How does it feel to be a trollop Cheryl? Airing your junk in public like a STRUMPET?

    Or airing your junk anywhere really. I'm pretty sure that's a misdemeanor.

    ETA: Well, maybe not in the blue states.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    How does it feel to be a trollop Cheryl? Airing your junk in public like a STRUMPET?

    Or airing your junk anywhere really. I'm pretty sure that's a misdemeanor.

    ETA: Well, maybe not in the blue states.

    singles don't rain for misemeanors...
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    How does it feel to be a trollop Cheryl? Airing your junk in public like a STRUMPET?

    Or airing your junk anywhere really. I'm pretty sure that's a misdemeanor.

    ETA: Well, maybe not in the blue states.

    singles don't rain for misemeanors...

    tumblr_lxxclwSEyT1qbbyxzo1_500.gif
  • weese17
    weese17 Posts: 236 Member
    Seriously, he won't let me do any of the cooking even though his creations are usually TERRIBLE. I just sit there playing with my plate and act like I'm not hungry and try to be polite as I can. Some nights I'll call in for pizza during dinner because I'm so HUNGRY from avoiding his food. I tell the delivery guy to dress in UPS clothes to try to hide my intentions, but I know my husband can smell the pizza on my person when I get back.

    I track all my food on MFP along with him, and sometimes he checks my phone to see what I've eaten for the day. After the first day he saw I'd tracked some pizza hut pizza and inquired I had to start logging my meals as "quick added calories" to hide it. I just told him it was stuff I was too buzy to log, but wasn't anything bad like wheat or dairy.

    I love this man, but I'm afraid of harming his fragile ego (he has mental problems, but I love him anyway) if I just told him that his cooking choices suck. The rest of our lives together is wonderful.

    I know JUST BREAK UP!, but what would you do?

    Holy ****, man. You win the everything. Applause!
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I'm just mad that I wasted the arm wrestling comment without a response. I thought that was funny anyway when it happened here.
  • FightTheFrump
    FightTheFrump Posts: 54 Member
    My brother is vegan; his longtime boyfriend is a hard core meat eater. They respect each other's diet choices and they each make their own food but then sit down and eat together. Can you try making your own food?

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