ok... so slightly worried

skinny91bum · February 2013

So a few years ago i used some bad eating problems and even though that's all cleared up and all better, my wedding is less than 7 months away and the pressure is well and truely on.

although it's not really bad AT THE MOMENT little bits have started to slip through the net, little tips that i used to have.

but the thing that i'm most worried about is the looming possibility of my bulimia coming back, i still have heart issues because of it

so this whole post was just to get some advice from people...

thanks S

TrailRunner61 · February 2013

Just DON'T go there! You know it can kill you. Is it worth dying to fit in that dress, to look good for one day?? Go see a therapist/counselor/nutritionist before it gets worse.
I'm a recovered anorexic/bulimic and I have those same feelings sometimes so I know what you mean. You just have to keep working on this the right way. It takes time and you have to finish ONE day at a time to reach your goal. You can do this and you can do it in a healthy way.
Good luck and <hugs>

SophieA9083 · February 2013

Don't do it!!!!
Don't think it's coming back, the more you think about it the more it will rear it's ugly head...if you want perhaps you could set alarms on your mobile to eat at specific times (my sister does this) and essentially graze so you may feel less inclined to binge and well you know...it may help keep your hormone levels up, especially if you factor in a feel good food snack like a few squares of dark chocolate or something you really enjoy!

Best thing would go and have a little chat with your doctor, they might have some advice on what to do next!

langsyne · February 2013

Better to be a healthy bride, than a skinny and ill one. Your future husband obviously loves who you are now. Just eat sensibly, with lots of fresh fruit and veggies, exercise and stay within your calorie limit and you will be a glowing beautiful bride. Be strong, you can do it.

kikicooks · February 2013

Is there a support group or Dr/therapist that you can talk too, maybe ones that helped you get through the issues in the past?

Congrats on your upcoming wedding, and stay strong!

tashaa1992 · February 2013

I suffer from purging type anorexia, was first diagnosed with anorexia when I was six and purging type anorexia when I was sixteen, I've been ill all my life because of it so I think I understand where you're coming from. When you were in recovery, were you receiving help? Is that help still available for you? I personally don't feel full recovery exists, it's an illness and I believe while it is possible to make steps towards a healthier life, it will always be there in the background, that's my opinion though.

Are you trying to lose weight? Do you think that could be triggering the bulimia?

TXtstorm · February 2013

So do you have a someone or more than one someone who can and will be your accountability coach? The person that will hold a REAL mirror up to what you're doing to help you keep it healthy? Who will cheer for your progress but tell you flat out when you've veered off course? Are you willing to listen to this person and adjust your behaviors? They should be someone who cares about you as a person, but probably not so emotionally vested in your outcomes that you or they cannot be completely honest. I'd think with your concerns you'd want to have time for an update with this "coach" twice a week or so. My husband has a coach like this. A guy where he works who can understand where he's at and where he's been and to whom he feels responsible, and yet this is not a person with whom he hangs out outside of work. Hubs feels this coach is very helpful to him to keep moving forward. Consider having professional therapy as well as your "coach". Find a therapist with experience with folks with eating disorders. You may not get to see them as often as a friend/acquaintance coach, but their professional background will be worth all of the time and money spent. I think everybody needs a counselor sooner or later, and most of us probably need one more often than we admit or use.

Since the wedding is what you perceive as the primary stressor right now, be very careful of setting it up as your sole weightloss or fitness goal date. Instead, set a series of small, manageable goals that are only 2-4 weeks apart. Work for those and forget about that eventual endpoint. The little goals will move you along to where you need to be, and since they don't seem so overwhelming, the temptation to do something extreme may be better kept in check.

Good luck, and please take care of yourself.

Reneeisfat · February 2013

You need professional help if this is how you are thinking.
No one else...go now.

Good luck!

skinny91bum · February 2013

i have the most amazing fiancee, who is strict with me when it comes to it, but i did it for so long, with no one finding out, at the moment the only thing i have to stop myself is trying convince myself its a easy route, i know that i could loose so much weight so quickly with it but I know the effects.

I've never got on with the whole Dr. thing, last time i went into recovery, it was because i had amazing friends who refused to let me go to the loo alone.

i'm mostly worried about the bulimia coming back though, i found it addictive, and i do think the dieting has caused it

thanks S xxx

WBB55 · February 2013

45 pounds in 6 months _can_ be done in a healthy way. But if you don't get into your size 6 for your wedding, but you spend all that time being healthy and not purging, then you're gonna be proud of yourself for that, too. Ok?

I know the fear that THIS dinner will make you gain fat. I know the fear that you won't look good for your event. Purging will make your health problems WORSE, not better. You're still so very young, to a lot of us. You're going to probably fight the purging urge for a long time. Maybe for the rest of your life.

I think what it is is maybe you've never lost weight in a healthy way, is that correct? So maybe you're worried you won't be good at it and won't be as "successful" as you are at other unhealthy methods. Do you want help doing it in a healthy way? Do you have a trainer or a friend you can go to who will give you healthy advice that works for YOU?

tashaa1992 · February 2013

Do you two talk about it openly? That's the key to recovery, having a strong support system, and talking does help alot, I'm always talking about how I'm feeling. I understand anorexia and bulimia are slightly different but if trying to lose weight is a trigger then as hard as it is, focus on learning to love your body and self as it is. Look at how far you've come, take each day as it comes xxx

skinny91bum · February 2013

45 pounds in 6 months _can_ be done in a healthy way. But if you don't get into your size 6 for your wedding, but you spend all that time being healthy and not purging, then you're gonna be proud of yourself for that, too. Ok?

I know the fear that THIS dinner will make you gain fat. I know the fear that you won't look good for your event. Purging will make your health problems WORSE, not better. You're still so very young, to a lot of us. You're going to probably fight the purging urge for a long time. Maybe for the rest of your life.

I think what it is is maybe you've never lost weight in a healthy way, is that correct? So maybe you're worried you won't be good at it and won't be as "successful" as you are at other unhealthy methods. Do you want help doing it in a healthy way? Do you have a trainer or a friend you can go to who will give you healthy advice that works for YOU?

your very right, i don't think i have ever lost weight in the 'correct' way. And i think that if i can go all that time loosing weight the way i'm supposed to then i will be proud of myself.

thank you for all the support with this matter, i know quite a few other people may of had eating disorders and found this triggering, and i am so sorry by that.

S xx

ok... so slightly worried

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