Need a new focus

Junisahn
Junisahn Posts: 166 Member
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi,

I feel like such a quitter, but that's just what I'm doing. I'm finding that my eating habits are getting more binge-like - an issue I never had before tracking my calories. I hoard calories for the evening... eating 700 or so from the time I wake up at 5am until before dinner and then 1000-1400 from dinner to when I go to bed at 10pm. I find myself angrier and angrier at myself for not losing the weight. I find myself not drinking water on my morning jog so that my weigh in afterward is as light as possible.

These habits are not improving my health. In fact, they are harmful. So, I'm quitting my weight loss goal.

Instead, I'm going to try to get back to my old, more natural way of eating - eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full. I'm going to continue to track calories and exercise for awhile without the goal of losing weight. I'm going to ignore MFP's suggestions of how many calories I should eat, and just exercise as I please and eat in moderation and see what that looks like and feels like, because right now, I feel both of these things have become very unnatural to me.

In a few weeks, I'll evaluate where I'm at and what I've learned from logging without intent to lose.

My BMI is currently 21.7. I'm 5'1 and 115, and am tired of obsessing about this. I think my problem at this point isn't weight - it's my perception of my body. I've had 2 kids and it just ain't what I see in the magazines, and I need to get over that airbrushed image of perfection and learn to love what I've got!

Replies

  • ahempler
    ahempler Posts: 2
    I would agree that your problem is your perception. My ex-girlfriend is 5'1" and 115 and she is not overweight in any stretch of the word. Good Job making your realization.
  • kimwig
    kimwig Posts: 164
    I think your last point is the most relevant "love your body as it is" as your BMI is in the normal range. What are you trying to get to if it is in the normal range!!!

    Also why save calories, when I thought that the "secret" for healthy eating was to breakfast well have a good midday meal and lesser calories toward the end. No wonder you binge at the end of the day when you limit calories when your body wants them during the day.
  • tcac
    tcac Posts: 211 Member
    I think you are making a good decision. I have an opsessive personality and it is a battle when I try to do something like this. Learning to listen to your body is a good thing. Just be careful what you eat when you are hungry. For me, writing in here what I eat helps me see more clearly if I am getting a well rounded day. Good luck and be joyful.
  • popplylily
    popplylily Posts: 97
    i agree with you. some people work by having structure and rigidity and outside consequence. others (like me!!) FREAK OUT at all of that and end up eating more than i did before the diet. and binging randomnely when i spent yrs trying to repair metabolism and eating habits after uni skinny damage. once the pressure is off im sure youll do fine. im prob going to do something similar. maybe just measure myself with a tape measure every few wks and eat when hungry stop when full. i was so obsessed with having enough to eat left in case i was hungry i actually ate whatever was left for the day even when im full. its not sending my body the right message. the novelty was nice but its taking food out of the body needs signals and into what your writing down or allowing yourself. then body freaks out tells brain it wants stuff and it will have it! in a big way. its an arguement i dont believe you can win without severe body/mind conflict. im going to be more sensible, start exersising more and see what happens i think... xxx damn it id paid for ww for the whole month! xxx
  • Junisahn
    Junisahn Posts: 166 Member
    i agree with you. some people work by having structure and rigidity and outside consequence. others (like me!!) FREAK OUT at all of that and end up eating more than i did before the diet. and binging randomnely when i spent yrs trying to repair metabolism and eating habits after uni skinny damage. once the pressure is off im sure youll do fine. im prob going to do something similar. maybe just measure myself with a tape measure every few wks and eat when hungry stop when full. i was so obsessed with having enough to eat left in case i was hungry i actually ate whatever was left for the day even when im full. its not sending my body the right message. the novelty was nice but its taking food out of the body needs signals and into what your writing down or allowing yourself. then body freaks out tells brain it wants stuff and it will have it! in a big way. its an arguement i dont believe you can win without severe body/mind conflict. im going to be more sensible, start exersising more and see what happens i think... xxx damn it id paid for ww for the whole month! xxx

    You've said it exactly! I hoard the calories because I'm afraid I'm going to get hungry later, and then, even when I'm not hungry, I keep eating the calories in the evening because I have them. Sounds like you and I have the exact same mentality towards all this!
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