Mostly venting but about deprivation and dieting.....

I haven't given up anything. But what I have done is found out that I question eating that ice cream before I do it. I ask myself do I want to use my calories for ice cream, because that means I may be hungry later because I can't eat a more filling meal? But if I want ice cream, I eat it.

I find that if I crave something so badly...that I will eat everything but and use the same amount of calories than just eating the ice cream in the first place, and still feel unsatisfied.

Do what works for you!!!

Okay, the last time I lost weight (about 6 years ago), I did it by purging almost all unhealthy (sugar or fat filled) food from my diet and replacing with whole grains, etc. It worked quickly and easily. The problem was that I could only eat at home, mostly only things that I cooked from scratch. I was exhausted all the time because I was cooking EVERYTHING. And when I started eating normally (although still somewhat controlled)--eating out, eating occasional pre-packed stuff, eating at other's homes--the weight came right back, and then some! So here I am again. This time I am counting calories. (including exercise calories earned.) Nothing is off limits, but common sense tells me that if I eat cheesecake, I'm gonna be hungry later, and won't have any calories to eat. So now, each day I can make a choice, and if I have a treat, I know just how much I will have to cut out at the next meal (or exercise extra) to come in under my limit. This is working so much better for me. I usually make the good choice, and I usually choose to exercise. But regardless, it is my choice, and I feel in control. I think this is actually something I can maintain this time. I just know that I will have to keep counting for the rest of my life. But even that is easier now. I sort of know the basic calorie counts of the foods I eat, and I am so much more aware. . .

26 lbs. down from my all time high, and I'm almost to my final goal!!

Hope this helps.

For her, food is an addiction. Obviously if she has a little, she can't stop. You may have more self control :-) To each their own.

Nowhere in the word DIET do I see the word deprivation. I eat what I want, when I want, in moderation. If I want something bad enough, I go out and earn the calories for it.
Diet is the food you put in your body, and nothing else. It's your lifestyle. That's it. Why put watered down gas in your ferrari when you can afford to give it the very best stuff on the market instead?

I completely understand your offense at someone else saying "we" are fat because my mom said the same thing to me. I screamed at her and told her she had no right to call me that, but I can't just go avoiding my own mom, so I eventually calmed down and forgive her. It hurts yes, but it made me wake up and think to myself, I need to change. As for a person on a diet being like an alcoholic, I don't agree. You can live without beer for the rest of your life, you have to eat! I don't think that, for me at least, weight watchers would be worth the money simply because it allows for little cheats. You could easily devise your own plan that allows for a sweet or two, perhaps even as often as once a week if planned carefully. You could also try to make lower calorie versions of sweets that would satisfy your cravings. Hope this helps!

one thing i've discovered is different strokes for different folks, really! what works for one person might not work for another so something to keep in mind. i have no experience with WW but you can't argue with the numbers of those who have been successful -- but of course there will be some that have not as well. everyone is different of course.

my take on things like WW, jenny craig, nutri-system, south beach, pills, etc., are they are fine IF you can commit to a lifetime of living in that style. once you go back to living your normal routine, the results of that lifestyle will start to show. the trick is to find something that works for you that you can stick with for the rest of your life -- a lifestyle change that you can incorporate into your life.

portion control is very important and equally as important is tracking what you are taking in. when i started tracking, i was surprised at the amount of calories/fat/sugar etc that i was taking in. stick within the limits of what's here on the site and you'll do great.

sweets to me are a necessity that you must feed every once in a while for your mental well-being if anything else. if i go for very long my body revolts and next thing i know, i'm eating bags and bags of sweets when i should have treated myself to a little bit in the first place. ice cream is a tough craving -- have you looked at yogurt which is a bit better for you? also, the lower fat ice cream and such is not too bad and might be a better choice.

for your friend -- uggh. having that kind of "support" is not exactly what you need. set your goals for weight loss (1 pound a week is safe), track your food through this site, plenty of water, exercise, and you should be making great results!

The first "diet" I ever did was Weight Watchers. While I am not following it anymore, I stick to many of the ideas behind it as far as getting in fruits/veggies, eating exercise calories, drinking water, and eating what I want. That being said... there are things I am choosing to not eat right now. I am looking at this as a lifestyle change and not a "diet", and I have actually made a lot of changes since I did WW. I think WW focuses too much on eating "diet" food (100 calorie snack packs, etc.) instead of making better choices. (I will admit that could have just been how I interpreted WW... and even doing portion control and snack packs was better than I was doing before WW!) I am focusing more now on making choices that I can make over a lifetime (okay, maybe depriving myself a little more than I will whenever I get to maintenance... but that is a *LONG* way off). I do not think that this lifestyle change means that I completely give up sweets... though I do find that as I eat healthier I don't want them much anymore. I do believe that eating sugar and fast food and sodas is something that is easier to quit/cut back on if you stay away for a bit... at least it has been for me. I can assure you that I have no plans right now to cut soda and chocolate out of my life forever!

I do agree that there are triggers that you probably need to stay away from. (Mine is Oreos! My plan for whenever I get a craving is to take them to a potluck or something, eat a couple, and leave the rest). There may be some routines you need to change (stopping for coffee every day... or getting fast food every day)... but overall I think that having the mindset of "deprivation" and "never being able to have ____ again" sets you up for failure, as others have said.

Everyone is different. I haven't necessarly given up anything...I've just modified how often and how much of it I can/am going to have. The only thing I've really "given up" that I'm really trying to break is soda. I know it has high fructose corn syrup and it's so addicting, so I try to stay away from it as much as possible. The other thing, is anything I can't get the nutritional facts for unless I feel like I really can afford it. Everything else is either eaten in moderation or just as a once in a while treat when I absolutely can't resist.

I've gotten some great will power but sometimes I utterly fail. This last week has been hell food-wise, but I'm still learning so I don't beat myself up!!

Maybe this is my wake up call yet again that I need to avoid this person for the rest of my life. Once in awhile I have these with this person and I just decide I can't be around her anymore. I avoid her for months and then we start talking again until this happens again.

I think you've nailed it there - she seems like a very negative person to have around you. To succeed (in weight loss as well as other things), you need to surround yourself with positivity. Sounds a bit new-age, but it's the truth.

As far as eating "bad" stuff, it's something that you learn to work around. Limit the portions and how often you indulge yourself, but you don't have to completely give up on ice cream or chocolate, you just need to be smart about it. I had a small hunk of chocolate last night, it was something I had been craving for a few days (and it was just as good as I thought it would be!), so I just had to move around the other things I ate so that I'd still be near my calorie goal for the day. Now I won't have any other sweets for a while, but it's OK as I don't even crave chocolate anymore - yesterday was enough for a while.

THIS is exactly what I was going to say.

Each person needs to find out what works best for them. Some folks can indulge a little and keep it under control without doing a lot of damage to their goals, some cant. But what strikes me is the underlying negativity you describe from this person. My mom can say to me- you need to lose 20 lbs, and it doesn't affect me because I don't question that she supports me and is saying it to remind me to stay on track. But the same kind of comment from someone who I do not like/trust would send me over the edge! If this person has a history with you that makes her feel toxic, then you will be doing yourself a favor by dumping her.

So enjoy your ice cream, but don't derail yourself, and get rid of the toxic unhappy people around you! That's my 2cents:flowerforyou:

Food addiction I think is worse then alcoholism....we need food to live, it's something we have to have everyday. Alcohol can be put "out of site, out of mind". Now don't get me wrong I think all addictions are hard to conquer but food has to be ate everyday so it's seen, smelt and thought about consistly. So with that being said I think everyone can truthfully say they've cheated at some point in their diet. So if you have a moment of weakness just make better choices. I've found the Skinny Cow ice creams are pretty good. Their french vanilla truffle bars are 100 calories, 2.5 fat, 18 carbs, 3 protein. Their ice cream sandwiches (like strawberry shortcake) is 140 calories, 2 fat, 30 carbs, 4 protein. You just have to plan on adjusting the other meals around you cravings and give in sometimes so you don't binge it. My biggest weakness is chips and dip....yesterday I think I ate a half a bag of cheetos...I could live off those things!!!!! But I know I need to get back on top of things today and start over. I hope this helps....
Stacey

I've tried Weight Watchers and Slimming world. The problem I have with them is that they don't really explain what is going on, they give you points or tell you what you can/can't eat but the reality is, you can eat anything you like, as long as you're balancing and can follow it then you'll be fine.

If you want to eat 2000 cals of Chocolate, fine, but you're unbalanced and won't do your body any favors, but if you eat a 35g bar, probably around 300 cals, and then balance with lots of good food.... whats the problem?

Thats why I like this site, since I've been here I've been motivated enough to 'learn' what I should be looking for and try to make my own choices rather than say 'oh that's 5pts, that's this that's that" I know what I'm looking at, plus the food database here is a million times better than the Weight Watchers/Slimming world databases.

Knowelege is power.

But from the two programs I prefer Slimming world, I got nothing from Weight watchers really. on SW I did lose plenty but I didn't enjoy the classes. Plus they both cost plenty.... this site is free

I have been on and off the WW bandwagon more times than I care to count. This time around I didn't do WW, but I wrote everything down and kept track of my calories. I made a point of never giving anything up, but eating it in moderation. I found that when I gave everything I loved up, the temptation to fall off the wagon was so easy. I still have my alcohol and chocolate and other foods I love, I just don't go overboard. I had to think about my approach to food and eating in moderation. I think that is the key. To give everything up doesn't work for most people. They feel as though they are missing out on something.

If you love ice cream, Ben & Jerry's makes these tiny single serving cups in a bunch of different flavors. You can have one of those every once in a while as part of your life and not go overboard by eating an entire pint, which really ends up being one serving and not 4 that they say it is.