Sometimes its good to learn where you self sabotage...

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Kimdbro
Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
in Motivation and Support
Well found that I have triggers. Like an addict. I'm cruising along just great and dandy, and one event causing stress, anger, anxiety etc. results in mass binge. It means I skip the gym and instead stop and pick up a bottle of wine, which leads to another bottle of wine, and if the disaster happens on the weekend all sorts of continued drink-festing. It's what we do right??! Because I'm already 'cheating' and going over on calories, I decide I might as well go all the way, this results in ordering pizza, followed by stopping for MacDonalds for lunch the next day, and going out for dinner the next night, and as so often it's the weekend, going out for the weekend for drinks and wings.... because after all, I'm angry/stressed/frustrated - whatever, and I'm treating myself to not cooking, and treating myself to me feel "good". Then a few days pass, the stressful situation gets put into perspective, the anger has subsided, and I'm fine again. Then comes the guilt. The realization that I've eaten 2500+ calories per day (had wings with that so more like 3000) drank myself blind over the weekend with completely wasted liquid calories. Not to mention the knowlege that alcohol slows metabolism down, burns off first, and leaves behind a trail of three days to recover the hangover and residual sluggishness that takes forever to go away. Three days missing the gym turns to 5-6, because I'm tired and exhausted and sad. I really should have just gone to the gym.... I'll bet I would have reached the same place without the 3 day binge anger-a-thon that left me gaining back the lbs I'd lost last week. I am a moron. But I'd like to believe I've learned a lesson for the next time.

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  • saj06003
    saj06003 Posts: 10 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean! Desserts are my "wine" and once I get going it hard to stop! I try to exercise, breathe deeply or do something else to take my mind off the stress/anger/frustration but it does not always help. My best bet is to make sure there are no desserts around when I'm in that zone. I also have friends who are very supportive and do their best to talk me out of my self-destructive habits :-)
  • ChereeP
    ChereeP Posts: 1 Member
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    I have the same type of mo. My weakness is chocolate--in any form available. Sometimes, I can't even figure out the triggers that get me started, unless its just the fact that I'm home alone and bored. I don't know what else it can be and then I start along just like an addict--finding my chocolate fix and not stopping until days later. How do we get through these self sabotage events to really start taking care of myself and eating the right things? Anyone out there have any ideas?
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Is it possible that you're an alcoholic? I think we all know that the best decisions are not often made when tipsy (or blind drunk - your words). I'd think the first step would be to abstain from drinking for a while and see how that goes.
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
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    Is it possible that you're an alcoholic? I think we all know that the best decisions are not often made when tipsy (or blind drunk - your words). I'd think the first step would be to abstain from drinking for a while and see how that goes.

    Haha, well, no I'm not an alcoholic - nice jump to worst scenario there. lol. I highly doubt I'm the first person to get drunk on a Friday night after having a horrible work day. Wine in this case happened to be part of this particular scenario, but when I have a frustrating event occur it generally means I don't make smart choices I make choices that make me feel good in the moment, sometimes it's buying icecream and indulging, or picking up pie, or going out for a nice full dinner complete with appies and desert. I convince myself that I deserve the indulgence because I'm so upset at whatever happened. The point is that one bad decision often leads to others. In my case once I break my resolve once, I over do it.
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
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    i used to do this type of thing. i would have a bad day, which would lead to a bad couple days and then i would just say.. ehhh screw it, i'll start again on monday.

    its like saying... i dropped my phone, so i'm going to smash it until it breaks.
  • dvelocity
    dvelocity Posts: 309 Member
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    I have a good habit of doing the same exact example you descirbed above.
  • ron2e
    ron2e Posts: 606
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    I always used to be like that with dieting, my downfalls are biscuits (cookies), potato crisps and chocolate. So I went to see a hypnotherapist for help and after a couple of treatments can honestly say I am not so tempted. I still have the odd biscuit or packet of crisps or chocolate, but rarely, and never because I feel driven to it, more if my calorie count is allowing me a bit of leeway, I might take the hit.
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
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    i used to do this type of thing. i would have a bad day, which would lead to a bad couple days and then i would just say.. ehhh screw it, i'll start again on monday.

    its like saying... i dropped my phone, so i'm going to smash it until it breaks.

    That's an awesome analogy. It's so silly and completely unnecessary. My aha moment was in realizing it's my MO.... that I use crappy events as an excuse for self-sabotage. Now I can do something about it and recognize not to follow the same pattern.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
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    I hear ya, sister, I am exactly the same. Once that lovely number of "Calories remaining" has turned red, and be it by only 5, there is no going back. And once the bottle is open, you might as well finish it, right? Damage's done and it'll just go off otherwise or tempt you to go over again tomorrow.

    What seems to work for me (not always but more frequently in recent times) is to plan for stress. I know I will need some comfort in form of food or drink come Friday night, so I am either saving up some exercise cals during the week or earn some extra with a superlong dog walk at the weekend. That way, it is still all within the allowance and it stops my brain from going into "damage done anyways"-thoughts.
    After all, you do deserve the treats - just with the same measure as you put on all week!
    I know it is a lot easier said than done, I have been struggling myself the past couple of weeks, but it is worth a shot!
  • jivitasa
    jivitasa Posts: 150 Member
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    You are right on about the cycle of emotions. "Feeling bad leads to giving in"... making bad decisions. (one that is not what we strive for). The best advice I can give is to shake it off, and move on. Every moment (notice I didn't say day, no all or nothing mentality here) is a chance to do better. Make the "better" choice. When you allow sadness/anger/shame/guilt to linger it leads to bad decisions to soothe the discomfort. I would recommend the book The Will Power Effect. It is fantastic, and based highly on these cycles we bring ourselves into.

    Hey, realizing the cycle is the first step to breaking it. Don't feel bad for a bad choice. We are conditioned to think that being hard on ourselves is the only way to stay strong and focused, but in reality for the majority it leads to a cycle of various emotions that are poison to the soul.
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
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    Such good comments... glad to see I'm not the only one with this pattern, or that others know what I'm talking about. I'm totally going to look for that book, thanks @jivitasa - I definitely need to work on the will power.

    @tizzwoz.... the red "calories remaining" is a death blow. I have actually gone over by 100 red cals and gone downstairs and made a peanut butter sandwich just cuz "I'm over anyways", I mean I was hungry, but a handful of nuts or an apple would have sufficed.
  • Izzwoz
    Izzwoz Posts: 348 Member
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    Such good comments... glad to see I'm not the only one with this pattern, or that others know what I'm talking about. I'm totally going to look for that book, thanks @jivitasa - I definitely need to work on the will power.

    @tizzwoz.... the red "calories remaining" is a death blow. I have actually gone over by 100 red cals and gone downstairs and made a peanut butter sandwich just cuz "I'm over anyways", I mean I was hungry, but a handful of nuts or an apple would have sufficed.

    Absolutely agree!! It is plain evil!!!
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
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    Such good comments... glad to see I'm not the only one with this pattern, or that others know what I'm talking about. I'm totally going to look for that book, thanks @jivitasa - I definitely need to work on the will power.

    @tizzwoz.... the red "calories remaining" is a death blow. I have actually gone over by 100 red cals and gone downstairs and made a peanut butter sandwich just cuz "I'm over anyways", I mean I was hungry, but a handful of nuts or an apple would have sufficed.

    and i can guarantee that even with 100 over your daily goal, you probably still were at a deficit for the day. we have such an all or nothing frame of mind. breaking that is a huge step for anyone.

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