Aggravated...(LONG)

delaney056
delaney056 Posts: 475
in Chit-Chat
So, there is this guy I've been talking to for awhile now. He's a super nice guy and very fun to talk to, but he aggravates the snot out of me sometimes. Last night I went to the movies with a girlfriend of mine after we got off work, and he blew up my phone with texts the entire time. After I left, I told him I was at the movies, and got this as a response: "Oh okay, well then. Thanks for the heads up. You can try to call me, but if I don't answer, I'm asleep." When I asked him why he needed me to tell him I was at the movies, this was his response: "I was just saying that it would have been nice for you to tell me. It's just a pet peeve. You didn't have to tell me, but I get aggravated when someone stops texting and then tells you what they were doing. You could have said something beforehand. Idk if that makes sense, just a worry thing."
Earlier, I was taking a nap and he called me, so obviously I missed it, and got "I guess you're too busy to talk to me." Once again, I explained myself and got, "Oh sorry, idk."
I like the guy, but I don't like having to explain myself 24/7 and being picked at if I don't respond to his texts/calls within 5 minutes. I really want to explain this to him, but I don't want to come off rude (even though I feel like it sometimes). I don't think I should have to tell anyone every move I make, and I'm kind of thinking this may be a red flag not to pursue a relationship with him. HOW do I say this without being rude?
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Replies

  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    from what little you've said, here's my guess:

    he's insecure and was worried/afraid you were out with another guy and it was driving him bonkers (it was Saturday night).
  • Mumbles83
    Mumbles83 Posts: 626 Member
    Sound Jealous and insecure ! ... just tell him what you think ! .. if he cant accept move on !
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    wow sounds like a really LONG insecure relationship.. congratulations lol have fun things will only get worse over time.. someone has messed him up hardcore... lol and u will be the one for him to get his head straight if u continue to be with him... lol.. now i like my men clingy and annoying lol ( shows me they care ) i love that!! because believe me when its reversed and your the one doing that it feels like crap....

    so enjoy it, persue it.. this type of guy is so broken that you will always feel needed lol.. i like this type of relationship. because i have been in a long one where the guy doesnt care. and it feels horrible.. everytime he doesnt care it makes me more crazy.. so . its a good thing he is like that in my opinion..
  • be_dazzled
    be_dazzled Posts: 353 Member
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    Here's my guess:

    "He's" actually a girl.

    Have you ever met "him"?
  • delaney056
    delaney056 Posts: 475
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    Oh, don't worry. We're not dating. Getting to know eachother.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    This
  • be_dazzled
    be_dazzled Posts: 353 Member
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    Oh, don't worry. We're not dating. Getting to know eachother.

    Thank god. Seriously hun, I speak from experience when I say please don't go there.
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    This 1000 times.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    You already answered your own question.

    People like this do not change. Trust me.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    He sounds insecure. Really, if he is as wonderful as you say he is, perhaps by simply letting him know what your plans are will make him feel better. Is it that much of a compromise to just off-handedly say "I'm going to a movie tonight. Talk to you tomorrow."?
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    groupon-red-flag.jpg

    Warning Warning, this will not get better later.
  • Bobtheangrytomato
    Bobtheangrytomato Posts: 251 Member
    Get out while you still can!
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    RUN!!!
  • rascallycat
    rascallycat Posts: 248 Member
    RED FLAG! Run as fast as you can!
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,628 Member
    Ditch this needy bugger ...... it'll just get worse :noway:
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    Red flag!!
    Jealous, possessive control freak.
    DUMP HIM NOW

    Oh, don't worry. We're not dating. Getting to know eachother.

    Thank god. Seriously hun, I speak from experience when I say please don't go there.

    yes. me too. been there, done that, didn't even get a lousy t-shirt.
  • pcaldwell4
    pcaldwell4 Posts: 5
    BIG RED FLAG!!!. You don't need to know anything more about him...........RUN while the getting is good.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    HOW do I say this without being rude?

    tumblr_m8ab4ch1bx1rwcc6bo1_500_zpsa62e1e5e.gif
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    (to the OP)

    you are young so i'm assuming the guy is too. i get the sense he likes you a lot. probably more than you like him. he's probably got a big crush on you and doesn't know how to say it, but i'd imagine it was killing him to think that you were out last night with somebody else and that's why he was acting nutty with the texting. he does have insecurity issues and that's why he left that message on your machine. he's really asking you for some sort of confirmation that you're not interested in anyone else.

    i think everyone on here past a certain age can remember how teenage crushes felt at the time. it doesn't mean he's nutty. it just means he's a teenager. that's my assumption since the OP is 18 years old.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Future woman beater...run don't walk...away!
  • rompers16
    rompers16 Posts: 5,404 Member
    It will only get worse...get out now.
  • momwhosbusy
    momwhosbusy Posts: 154 Member
    (to the OP)

    you are young so i'm assuming the guy is too. i get the sense he likes you a lot. probably more than you like him. he's probably got a big crush on you and doesn't know how to say it, but i'd imagine it was killing him to think that you were out last night with somebody else and that's why he was acting nutty with the texting. he does have insecurity issues and that's why he left that message on your machine. he's really asking you for some sort of confirmation that you're not interested in anyone else.

    i think everyone on here past a certain age can remember how teenage crushes felt at the time. it doesn't mean he's nutty. it just means he's a teenager. that's my assumption since the OP is 18 years old.

    ^^^ This ^^^
  • Wreak_Havoc
    Wreak_Havoc Posts: 597
    RED FLAG! Run as fast as you can!


    T H I S ! ! ! ! ! ! !
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Future woman beater...run don't walk...away!

    What? Don't you think that's kind of a leap?
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Controlling, possessive behavior doesn't have an age limit, so him being a teen doesn't change my answer. Violence in teen couples in staggeringly common. Not saying he's definitely an abuser, but since OP already feels uneasy and at the end of her rope I think she should cut him loose before it gets worse.
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
    I'm telling you right now, this is a red flag for me. No word of a lie, I experienced something very similar to this about two years ago, and then guy asked me to marry him when I'd known him a week... and couldn't understand why I said no??? Not saying all guys are like this, but clinginess freaks me out.
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Future woman beater...run don't walk...away!

    What? Don't you think that's kind of a leap?

    Being possessive and demanding to know where someone is at all times are early warning signs of abuse. Does it mean this guy is definitely an abuser? No, of course not. But since OP is put off by his behavior she shouldn't put up with it
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
    If you've never met him in person, and all you've done is talk on the phone and text, then I think his messages are immature and inappropriate. I would look elsewhere but if you want to try talking to him about how you percieve his comments and then decide based on what he says and does, that's ok too. Just be calm and honest when you speak to him...don't do it by texting. You are 100% correct that you do not owe him an explanation of your whereabouts or plans....you are not in a committed relationship.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

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