Aggravated...(LONG)

Back before cell phones, texts, email, it was a lot harder for someone to constantly electronically pester this way.. Ah, I miss the good old days!

To the OP... Just tell him flat out that your life does not revolve around him and you do not have to answer to him. If he doesn't get it, walk away.

This guy is a control freak. GET OUT NOW. Your life may depend on it.

I am almost 50 so take some advice from someone with a little wisdom.....ITS A RED FLAG

My advice: slowly back up, turn around and run like its the zombie apocalypse. This story has all the ingredients for a crash landing.

Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

well, that does count as exercise doesn't it? the jumping part, i mean.

:laugh:

Red flag!!
Jealous, possessive control freak.
DUMP HIM NOW

Oh, don't worry. We're not dating. Getting to know eachother.

It doesn't seem that he's on the same page. Maybe not even the same book.

(to the OP)

you are young so i'm assuming the guy is too. i get the sense he likes you a lot. probably more than you like him. he's probably got a big crush on you and doesn't know how to say it, but i'd imagine it was killing him to think that you were out last night with somebody else and that's why he was acting nutty with the texting. he does have insecurity issues and that's why he left that message on your machine. he's really asking you for some sort of confirmation that you're not interested in anyone else.

i think everyone on here past a certain age can remember how teenage crushes felt at the time. it doesn't mean he's nutty. it just means he's a teenager. that's my assumption since the OP is 18 years old.

age is not an excuse. the behavior the OP describes is unacceptable.

Controlling, possessive behavior doesn't have an age limit, so him being a teen doesn't change my answer. Violence in teen couples is staggeringly common. Not saying he's definitely an abuser, but since OP already feels uneasy and at the end of her rope I think she should cut him loose before it gets worse.

^^ this.

Quick, a guy with flaws...only one possible solution!


I wonder if anybody has ever taken the time to point out to the guy that this is clingy, annoying, and a red flag? If not, then how in the world would he ever be able to change? Has no one else ever been socially awkward?

It could be that he doesn't realize that he's giving off creepy/stalker vibes. He may just be immature, insecure, and in need of someone to tell him what's up.

"I don't spend all my free time on my phone, and it's important to me to continue hanging out with friends before we started getting to know each other. I try to be prompt in returning messages, but if I haven't, it's because I'm busy and haven't checked my phone in the last while. Maybe you didn't realize this, but I'm irritated that you think I need to be at your beck and call. But if that is what you expect from a relationship, you should probably look elsewhere."

You'll either get an apology and a quick change in behavior, which you could accept graciously and give him another chance, or you'll get a defensive rant, which is your cue to run for the hills and block his number.

Wow. I'm glad to see that no one is jumping to conclusions.

I'd be willing to listen to your take. Watcha got?

I posted on page 1. It just sounds like he's insecure.

Ahh, I read that. Agreed that he is insecure. We all are in some way. But he's also needy. Needy and insecure is a veddy veddy bad combination. Add to that that things get worse, not better so if this is the level of psycho that he's willing to display this early in the dating game then I'm scared what he will demand from the OP when they really get to know each other

Looking at it this way, if he's like this now when you guys are just getting to know each other, what's he going to be like if you decide to proceed with the relationship. If you can handle being in a relation ship where you are constantly monitored and accountable to the other person then fine. If not I wouldn't pursue the relationship any further. He sounds like the jealous possessive type and possibly the type of person who wouldn't let you spend time with friends. If you really like him explain how he is making you feel and see how he responds. Although even then I would be wary and be prepared for the behaviour to come back

End this right now! This a control person who has to know what you are doing every minute. This is not good. As others have said...Run!

Warning! Warning! Warning!

Don't need to understand him, know him, or get a bigger picture. If the behaviors your describe are even a tenth accurate, he has a level of neediness I personally couldn't tolerate. Call it controlling, call it insecurity, call it whatever... but it's a sign of things to come. You need to decide if that's something you like in a man, or you don't. I wouldn't. I'd run. And change my number. Twice.

Quick, a guy with flaws...only one possible solution!


I wonder if anybody has ever taken the time to point out to the guy that this is clingy, annoying, and a red flag? If not, then how in the world would he ever be able to change? Has no one else ever been socially awkward?

It could be that he doesn't realize that he's giving off creepy/stalker vibes. He may just be immature, insecure, and in need of someone to tell him what's up.

I actually don't disagree with this. I still wouldn't date him, but it might help him out if you at least explain why.

Edited out all the other stuff because it doesn't matter.

If you all are friends, don't worry about being rude, just be honest. It could be that he is a jerk, and you'll find out for sure that way...then you'll know to tell him to kick rocks.