being looked down upon

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2

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  • candirose69
    candirose69 Posts: 149
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    I have always been worried about what my (now) husbands friends and family think of me. I know my husband loves me and thinks I'm hot, but i suppose i was always worried I'd embaress him (silly and childish i know!).

    Especially his evil step-mother who is one of thos women who is on some different crazy cut out everything but yoghurt and chicken breat sorta diets every second week...i just know she calls me fat behind my back... :S

    But now i think even though im still a fatty I've come to realise I could care less about other peoples opinions, im doing this for me!!! Also I've tried judging other less... i used to say things like "she should dress for her body, that *clothing item* looks crap on her" now i try and think "wow what confidence i wish i could wear *clothing item*!!"
  • midnite81
    midnite81 Posts: 162 Member
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    I totally know how you feel. When I was at my heaviest I was 356lbs. I totally felt non-human. I was embarrassed to be around extended family and sometimes friends when we went out. I felt as though people were looking at me because I was big.

    The thing is, it's 99% about mental attitude. When I told my nephews and nieces that I was always embarrassed for them to have a fat uncle. Pretty much all of them said 'we never thought of you like that way' or 'thing was that you were always there for us'. We often feel ashamed that we get big and it makes things in life hard and then we probably comfort eat. People's perceptions are often quite different to our own.

    I walk into a room now (having lost 100lbs) and people don't notice me as fat (I am still overweight and have got another 50lbs to go or so) but people just see me how I should see myself. Sometimes you just have to let go of that image of yourself. You are a nice person and at the end of the day you're working towards being physically better.

    Please don't beat yourself up about your weight. I know so many people will empathise with your story. I certainly do. Have faith. You are at a point in your life where you are so able to do something about your weight. When I was your age, I never had MFP and I so wish I had. Just remember to take one day at a time and be grateful that you want to deal with your weight now. You will so do this - we're all here to support you and we know how hard it is. If someone told me I'd have lost 100lbs by Feb, last June I'd have laughed. Well done on making a great step forward. You will get there :)
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    Bill Clinton was overweight....

    while being president or at the time he was elected? Also, really: Clinton? as compared to, say, Rush Limbaugh or Roger Moore?
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    YES.
    I remember once a friend who was 115lbs telling me she wished she had my body (I was easily 165-170lbs, no muscle, pure fat). It felt like the biggest insult because she then proceeded to point out a girl smaller than me and comment on how much weight she had gained and how fat she was.

    I felt like my friends would pity me in a way but then act like I wasn't bigger than them, which was infuriating because I knew that I was.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way.

    I don't know. I'm too busy being awesome to notice if people are.
  • SusieDerkinsRocks
    SusieDerkinsRocks Posts: 30 Member
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    do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way.

    I don't know. I'm too busy being awesome to notice if people are.



    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    this one for the win!!!! Love that!

    Push through with self-confidence of what you are achieving - if you don't, it's just too hard to keep moving forward.
  • LINIA
    LINIA Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Statistically speaking, we are looked down upon.

    Discrimination against overweight people - particularly women - is as common as racial discrimination, according to a study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity at Yale University.

    http://www.news-medical.net/news/2008/03/31/36791.aspx

    I have a LOT of melanin and yes, there will sometimes be discrimination BUT here is the catch, you never really know why.....could be weight, could be the other person is "mental", could be religious discrimination, or my short skirt, just saying....There is discrimination but our good MFP friends and RL friends see what is inside of us and don't judge us for the small stuff.
  • Kitsada
    Kitsada Posts: 105 Member
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    I try not to think this way, that people are looking down on me.

    If a nasty thought like this Does manage to creep in, I remind myself that they are probably stupid, and I feel better. lol.

    Seriously, anyone who would actually say something nasty to you about your weight, or give you looks, is just so not worth your time to even stress about it. Other posters are right, focus on yourself. I'm sure there are lots of things that are great about you that have nothing to do with your weight. Focus on that, and find some self esteem from within, and keep working on your health. For yourself.
  • bdburch
    bdburch Posts: 127
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    My perspective may be slightly different from yours but I feel like I'm looked down on as well. I am not over weight and I never have been. I've always been considered small (just due to genetics). I've never had to work on my body but have recently noticed that I've put on a few pounds. This was odd since I hadn't gained weight since my 2nd year of high school. So I joined the gym at work. What I've come to find out is that I have not trained my muscles at all. I could barely do a push up when I started. I'm constatnly struggling with simple things. The staff at the gym are always asking me if I'm ok or if I need a break because I turn so red that I look like I might burst (I am breathing, I just don't sweat much). It makes me feel inadequate and like I'm being judged.

    On a positive note, after being at the gym for 3 weeks, I can now do 4 push ups in a row, take a 30 second break then do 4 more before my arms feel like they are going to fall off. I also worked out in front of other gym members for the first time today :) It was a bit uncomfortable at the time but now I'm proud that I forced myself to do it.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
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    Bill Clinton was overweight....

    while being president or at the time he was elected? Also, really: Clinton? as compared to, say, Rush Limbaugh or Roger Moore?


    Dude they were never presidents.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    They sure do and it doesnt matter. Oh, and when you lose weight youll get the double whammy of now they treat you better. Remember humans are shallow a--holes and you are far superior than 99% of them. The best revenge is success and happiness.
  • kaliso
    kaliso Posts: 42 Member
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    Focus on who you are as a person and who cares what people think of you.

    agreed.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Absolutely. The reality of the world is that attractive people are treated better, and if you're overweight you would definitely be more attractive to be at a more healthy weight. Some people try to get lots of money or wear designer clothes try to become really funny or great at dancing or a good guitar player so that others will like them more... but fitness and health is so great because not only do you look better but you FEEL better so you no longer care so much what people think of you and you can get on with being who YOU want to be.

    Gee, so I guess all those unattractive, yet thin people just can't win for anything, huh?
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
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    It's not about attractive/unattractive, fat/thin, whatever. People will find a hundred different reasons to look down on whoever is convenient at the moment they feel a need to feel superior to someone else. At the end of the day what you have to ask yourself is, "Does it really matter?" People come and go, and along with them go their opinions about you. Live your life for you, and for the benefit of the people that you care about, or are able to help, and let the opinions of others fall by the wayside.
  • stonerollin42
    stonerollin42 Posts: 7 Member
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    do you guys sometime feel looked down upon because of your weight? like people feel bad for you in a way. im 5'7 273 lbs and im morbidley obese. it feels that people look down on me because im obese. does anybody else feel that way or is it just me being paranoid?

    It's really really reaaaallllllyyyy easy to feel this way-even when it's absurd. When I try to eat healthy in public, a nasty little voice in the back of my head says, "look at the fat girl eating a salad." Same thing when going to the gym.

    The thing is, everyone has insecurities; there are so many countless things to worry about. I've spent the vast majority of my life worrying about people judging me for my weight. When I found out that some people feel judged for things like having a big nose or tiny ears, etc, I was just dumbstruck. They were at perfectly healthy weights! Why weren't their lives blissful and judgement free?!

    So now I just smile at people. They don't know your struggle. And you don't know theirs. And if they judge you, well, how sad for them. I'd hate for my struggle to be being a really shi**y person.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    Bill Clinton was overweight....

    while being president or at the time he was elected? Also, really: Clinton? as compared to, say, Rush Limbaugh or Roger Moore?


    Dude they were never presidents.

    exactly. Name ONE obese president? One that was obese at the time they were elected. Bat**** crazy, can be tolerated, apparently, but not obese.
  • transvenouspacer
    transvenouspacer Posts: 182 Member
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    People will look down on you for any reason they can perceive or imagine. For me, a "healthy" weight seems like an unattainable goal, but I'm more worried about how I feel than whether or not I make others uncomfortable.

    Exactly. It's human nature to look down on others. Doesn't matter if it's because they think they're smarter, taller, have better looking eyebrows, whatever. People have to find something to make them feel that they're better than someone else. Don't worry about it. Just focus on you.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
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    Bill Clinton was overweight....

    while being president or at the time he was elected? Also, really: Clinton? as compared to, say, Rush Limbaugh or Roger Moore?


    Dude they were never presidents.

    exactly. Name ONE obese president? One that was obese at the time they were elected. Bat**** crazy, can be tolerated, apparently, but not obese.

    Taft (bmi of 42.3) Cleveland (34.6) McKinley (31.3) Taylor (30.2) and Teddy Rooselvelt (30.2). Clinton was overweight at 28.3
  • CrystalDreams
    CrystalDreams Posts: 418 Member
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    Ive been teased for my weight. I have had people doubt my ability to preform tasks due to me being 'out of shape'. I have had people judge my eating. I let all of this got to me and led to a phobia of eating in public and thinking i was pathetic and out of shape. Now i just giggle inside because even though i weight more than most girls I am basically a flesh colored hulk and could easily chase them down. I eat now because i know my body needs food, and i ignore the people staring. Let them judge. They just don't want to look at themselves and their faults so they must put everyone around them.
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    I think we have all felt that way at one time or another - it is our own insecurities. My first thought whenever I see a larger individual working out in any way (walking, running, cycling, or at the gym) is "right on! good for them!" :happy:

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