Need someone to get inside my head.

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I have been watching Superskinny v Supersize, and Biggest Loser and other programmes about people who are overweight, and the doctors/trainers try to get inside the head of the fat person to see what happened that caused them to overeat.

A lot of people seem to have proper underlying problems, such as abuse, or comfort eating after a death in the family, or their mum/dad left them as a child.

I am trying to find out if there is anything that is causing me to eat all the time. When I was younger, I never thought I was thin/skinny, although I wasn't massive, I was the middle sized person in my little clique of three. I had a fat friend and a skinny friend. And I always seemed to have an unhealthy (although probably normal for a child) relationship with sweets and chocolates. My parents allowed my sister and I to have 4 chocolates on the weekend, and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ate mine on Friday night and had none left for the weekend.

As I got older, I found the key to the chocolate cupboard and pilfered the chocolates. When I was older still, I would use all my pocket money to buy sweets, crisps and chocolates and I would scoff them all in one sitting, something that has carried on all through my life. These days, I can't buy certain things because I just eat it all, like biscuits, chocolates, crisps and even cheese! But until I was about 18, I never put on any weight.

It was only when I came to England from South Africa that I started putting weight on. I was happy in my relationship and I put weight on. Then when we broke up, I lost it all again. Then I met someone else, but this time I put weight on because I was unhappy in my relationship and he made me feel ugly. Not for want of trying, I did several weight loss programmes and did eventually get down to 9st 7lbs (which incidentally is my goal now), but then put it all back on, plus more. Then we broke up 4 years ago and I lost some of the weight and then met my wonderful fiance. I am very happy with him and once again, I put the weight on and 2 years ago, I decided enough was enough and while I was happy in my relationship, I was not happy with myself. I didn't feel as good on the outside as I felt on the inside. And hence, here I am now, 32lbs lighter and still going.

But, I still have the compulsion to buy loads of sweets, chocolates and crisps and just nom them all in one sitting and I just don't understand why.

Anyone (who took the time out to read my novel of a post) had a similar situation, or know anyone in a similar situation? I don't think there is a real cause, but my relationship with food has always been unhealthy.

Reading back through my own post, could it be that I just associate happiness and comfort with food? And if that's the case, why did I not wither away and die when I was unhappy in my last relationship? Was I trying to make myself happy by eating? And if that's the case, why did I eat so badly when I WAS happy in a relationship.

Sorry for the long post!

Replies

  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
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    I have been watching Superskinny v Supersize, and Biggest Loser and other programmes about people who are overweight, and the doctors/trainers try to get inside the head of the fat person to see what happened that caused them to overeat.

    A lot of people seem to have proper underlying problems, such as abuse, or comfort eating after a death in the family, or their mum/dad left them as a child.

    I am trying to find out if there is anything that is causing me to eat all the time. When I was younger, I never thought I was thin/skinny, although I wasn't massive, I was the middle sized person in my little clique of three. I had a fat friend and a skinny friend. And I always seemed to have an unhealthy (although probably normal for a child) relationship with sweets and chocolates. My parents allowed my sister and I to have 4 chocolates on the weekend, and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ate mine on Friday night and had none left for the weekend.

    As I got older, I found the key to the chocolate cupboard and pilfered the chocolates. When I was older still, I would use all my pocket money to buy sweets, crisps and chocolates and I would scoff them all in one sitting, something that has carried on all through my life. These days, I can't buy certain things because I just eat it all, like biscuits, chocolates, crisps and even cheese! But until I was about 18, I never put on any weight.

    It was only when I came to England from South Africa that I started putting weight on. I was happy in my relationship and I put weight on. Then when we broke up, I lost it all again. Then I met someone else, but this time I put weight on because I was unhappy in my relationship and he made me feel ugly. Not for want of trying, I did several weight loss programmes and did eventually get down to 9st 7lbs (which incidentally is my goal now), but then put it all back on, plus more. Then we broke up 4 years ago and I lost some of the weight and then met my wonderful fiance. I am very happy with him and once again, I put the weight on and 2 years ago, I decided enough was enough and while I was happy in my relationship, I was not happy with myself. I didn't feel as good on the outside as I felt on the inside. And hence, here I am now, 32lbs lighter and still going.

    But, I still have the compulsion to buy loads of sweets, chocolates and crisps and just nom them all in one sitting and I just don't understand why.

    Anyone (who took the time out to read my novel of a post) had a similar situation, or know anyone in a similar situation? I don't think there is a real cause, but my relationship with food has always been unhealthy.

    Reading back through my own post, could it be that I just associate happiness and comfort with food? And if that's the case, why did I not wither away and die when I was unhappy in my last relationship? Was I trying to make myself happy by eating? And if that's the case, why did I eat so badly when I WAS happy in a relationship.

    Sorry for the long post!

    restricted eating can lead to bingeing. Telling kids they can only have x amount and thats it is fine for some but causes some to stockpile and eat too much too fast in later life die to a latent fear that someone will take it away.

    I did it for a while as a teen, but got over it. Mum would watch every bite i ate and judge it, yet let my brother eat what ever he fancied. I wasn't overweight as a kid at all. I retrained - you can have as much of anything as you like, if you're willing to pay the price, both financially and healthwise. I'm not willing to pay the price, so I now self moderate but know i CAN have it but I CHOOSE not to. That makes all the difference.
  • DaniKenmir
    DaniKenmir Posts: 387 Member
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    I ate the same way as a kid, and when I got my first job, I had the money and I could live off cookie dough and fanta! I don't think there's anything in my past to make me that way, I just have a sweet tooth. :) I won't buy food that I know I'll binge on. My bf eats all that stuff (within reason) but I tell him not to let me have any.
  • HungryKoala
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    who LOCKS a chocolate cupboard.. *goes back to reading post*.
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
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    You seem to be describing symptoms from http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Binge-eating/Pages/Introduction.aspx

    See your GP, it's free, the support is available.
  • liblobs
    Options
    I have been watching Superskinny v Supersize, and Biggest Loser and other programmes about people who are overweight, and the doctors/trainers try to get inside the head of the fat person to see what happened that caused them to overeat.

    A lot of people seem to have proper underlying problems, such as abuse, or comfort eating after a death in the family, or their mum/dad left them as a child.

    I am trying to find out if there is anything that is causing me to eat all the time. When I was younger, I never thought I was thin/skinny, although I wasn't massive, I was the middle sized person in my little clique of three. I had a fat friend and a skinny friend. And I always seemed to have an unhealthy (although probably normal for a child) relationship with sweets and chocolates. My parents allowed my sister and I to have 4 chocolates on the weekend, and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ate mine on Friday night and had none left for the weekend.

    As I got older, I found the key to the chocolate cupboard and pilfered the chocolates. When I was older still, I would use all my pocket money to buy sweets, crisps and chocolates and I would scoff them all in one sitting, something that has carried on all through my life. These days, I can't buy certain things because I just eat it all, like biscuits, chocolates, crisps and even cheese! But until I was about 18, I never put on any weight.

    It was only when I came to England from South Africa that I started putting weight on. I was happy in my relationship and I put weight on. Then when we broke up, I lost it all again. Then I met someone else, but this time I put weight on because I was unhappy in my relationship and he made me feel ugly. Not for want of trying, I did several weight loss programmes and did eventually get down to 9st 7lbs (which incidentally is my goal now), but then put it all back on, plus more. Then we broke up 4 years ago and I lost some of the weight and then met my wonderful fiance. I am very happy with him and once again, I put the weight on and 2 years ago, I decided enough was enough and while I was happy in my relationship, I was not happy with myself. I didn't feel as good on the outside as I felt on the inside. And hence, here I am now, 32lbs lighter and still going.

    But, I still have the compulsion to buy loads of sweets, chocolates and crisps and just nom them all in one sitting and I just don't understand why.

    Anyone (who took the time out to read my novel of a post) had a similar situation, or know anyone in a similar situation? I don't think there is a real cause, but my relationship with food has always been unhealthy.

    Reading back through my own post, could it be that I just associate happiness and comfort with food? And if that's the case, why did I not wither away and die when I was unhappy in my last relationship? Was I trying to make myself happy by eating? And if that's the case, why did I eat so badly when I WAS happy in a relationship.

    Sorry for the long post!

    restricted eating can lead to bingeing. Telling kids they can only have x amount and thats it is fine for some but causes some to stockpile and eat too much too fast in later life die to a latent fear that someone will take it away.

    I did it for a while as a teen, but got over it. Mum would watch every bite i ate and judge it, yet let my brother eat what ever he fancied. I wasn't overweight as a kid at all. I retrained - you can have as much of anything as you like, if you're willing to pay the price, both financially and healthwise. I'm not willing to pay the price, so I now self modify but know i CAN have it but I CHOOSE not to. That makes all the difference.
  • liblobs
    Options
    I was on a restricted diet as a child, told I was hyperactive and fat... I was actually excruciatingly thin. I think when you have been denied food as a child you do crave it more as you get older.

    How about telling yourself it is ok, it is there for you if you want it, remove the restrictions and the word 'diet' - I still have my fathers voice in my head, mainly from my husbands refrain 'are you sure you really want to eat that?' - IT MAKES ME REBEL! And eat more, if you are anything like me, just knowing that 'if you want to' you can takes the desire out of it! Place yourself back in control.
  • roguex_1979
    roguex_1979 Posts: 247 Member
    Options
    You seem to be describing symptoms from http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Binge-eating/Pages/Introduction.aspx

    See your GP, it's free, the support is available.

    I had no idea binge eating was a mental issue!

    I did often eat in private and I always feel guilty afterwards! Thankfully, I don't purge (although I have often felt so full I have felt like a would throw up).
    I HAVE suffered from depression, for a very long time, and I was on anti-depressants for years but they never helped the binge eating.

    I will see my GP, but if they suggest going back on anti-d's, I will have to refuse.
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    Options
    You seem to be describing symptoms from http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Binge-eating/Pages/Introduction.aspx

    See your GP, it's free, the support is available.

    I had no idea binge eating was a mental issue!

    I did often eat in private and I always feel guilty afterwards! Thankfully, I don't purge (although I have often felt so full I have felt like a would throw up).
    I HAVE suffered from depression, for a very long time, and I was on anti-depressants for years but they never helped the binge eating.

    I will see my GP, but if they suggest going back on anti-d's, I will have to refuse.

    Hopefully not, but if you do have a bad experience with your GP, I hope at least knowing that a known, named, issue exists will help. There will also likely be support groups and free counselling in your area after a brief search. It's not necessarily one huge impact like the death of a loved one that is troubling you, it could be any number of things building up, or one issue over a long time.

    You're right that most people that overeat do have a deeper reason for doing so, and I believe real harm is caused by years of treating the symptoms instead of the cause. At the very least, perhaps you can start to figure out what is troubling you by figuring out when you're triggered, and taking the time to figure out what may be the issue.
  • candirose69
    Options
    some of us just love lollies and chocolate. I'm a social worker/counsellor and i really think i love food! end of story, when I have started counting calories I've lost weight simple...Maybe you just love sweet food :D
    I know SOME people eat as a comfort/alternative self harm but the obesity epidemic is not because none of use were hugged enough as kids, its becuase fast food is readily available and we cant say no to that extra cookie.

    If you think there is an emotional/psychological issues causing your eating by all means please see a counsellor and work on that but just don't over analise it (which is easy enough to do, in psychology class i convinced myself i had OCD -.-)
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
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    maybe you're simply scared that you don't deserve to succeed and reap the benefits.