Anyone have any really bad jokes?

Dani_wants_to_be_fit
Dani_wants_to_be_fit Posts: 550 Member
in Chit-Chat
So my friends a little down and I said I would send him a cheesy/corny joke a day and he decided to mark them out of 10. I am yet to make it past 4 on his marks!

What is the worst joke you heard that actually made you laugh?

I'm aiming to make it to 7 at least T.T
«13

Replies

  • Dani_wants_to_be_fit
    Dani_wants_to_be_fit Posts: 550 Member
    bump
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    "Wanna play the rape game?"
    "No"
    "That's the spirit!"
  • scrumhalf7
    scrumhalf7 Posts: 175 Member
    Told my mum I was going to make a car out of spaghetti. Impossible she cried. You should have seen her face when I drove Pasta!:laugh:
  • JadeLovesGin
    JadeLovesGin Posts: 26
    A polar bear walks into a bar and says, ‘I’ll have a pineapple juice . . . . . . . . . on
    the rocks.’
    The barman replies, ‘Why the big pause?’
    ‘I don’t know,’ says the polar bear. ‘I’ve always had them.’
  • SlickFootAnna
    SlickFootAnna Posts: 611 Member
    What is red and smells like paint?


    Red paint.
  • Ilovevwgolf
    Ilovevwgolf Posts: 564 Member
    Dear Algebra,
    Please stop asking us to find your X...She's never coming back and don't ask Y... :brokenheart:
  • Dani_wants_to_be_fit
    Dani_wants_to_be_fit Posts: 550 Member
    Woop! Thanks guys!
  • Ilovevwgolf
    Ilovevwgolf Posts: 564 Member
    'My friend thinks he is smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.!' :sad:
  • Tangerine16
    Tangerine16 Posts: 44 Member
    I rang the Council and said: "I want a skip outside my house."

    The man said: "Well, I'm not stopping you."
  • Ilovevwgolf
    Ilovevwgolf Posts: 564 Member
    I rang the Council and said: "I want a skip outside my house."

    The man said: "Well, I'm not stopping you."

    Brilliant! :laugh: :laugh:
  • Dani_wants_to_be_fit
    Dani_wants_to_be_fit Posts: 550 Member
    'My friend thinks he is smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.!' :sad:

    loved this one!
  • bmstee03
    bmstee03 Posts: 119 Member
    What do you call a cow with no legs?


    Ground Beef!
    I love corny jokes and this one cracks me up every time.
  • stoked2b
    stoked2b Posts: 136 Member
    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

    Nacho Cheese!
  • stoked2b
    stoked2b Posts: 136 Member
    What didn't the skeleton cross the road?

    He didn't have any guts!
  • stoked2b
    stoked2b Posts: 136 Member
    A pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrrgh, it's driving me nuts!!"
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    2 nuns walk into a bar... the third one ducks!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea...

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    Still no idea...

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, no leg and no p*nis?

    Still no effin idea...
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    Why did the hipster burn his tounge?

    He drank his coffee before it was cool!
  • apg2302
    apg2302 Posts: 667
    Two nuns are in a bath, and one nun says:
    "Where's the soap?"
    To which the other nun replies :
    "It does doesn't it?"
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says "You have a drink named Harold!?"
  • davidpearly
    davidpearly Posts: 177 Member
    a neutron walks into a bar and sits down, the bartender ask "what will you have. The neutron looks at the beer on tap and ask how much for a bud light, the bartender replies "for you, no charge"
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    Cable news stations are legitimate.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    Cable news stations are legitimate.
    Not-funny_zps6f507aa4.gif
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    What's the difference between jam and jelly?

    I can't jelly my **** up your ***
  • bdburch
    bdburch Posts: 127
    What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta

    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
    Ten-tickles

    What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator

    What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
    Bison
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    The first joke my 5 year old thought up by by himself:

    What do you call a ship that sails through your body? A blood vessel :laugh:

    PM me for a rude one that I don't want to be banned for:blushing:
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    Why did the mouse cross the road?
    It was stapled to the chicken.

    Whats read and green and goes round and round?
    A frog in a blender.

    Rejected Dr. Suess Books-
    1. One *****, Two *****, Dead *****, Blue *****
    2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
    3. Fox in Detox
    4. Who Shat in the Hat?
    5. Horton Hires a Ho
    6. The Flesh Eating Lorax
    7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
    8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You?
    9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
    10. The Cat in the Blender
    11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F*** Out!
    12. Are You My Proctologist?
    13. Yentl the Lentil
    14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
    15. Aunts in My Pants
    16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
    17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
    18. The Grinch's Ten Inches
  • baxgilter
    baxgilter Posts: 246 Member
    bumping

    My husband is at BCT and I put a joke in every letter I write, this will be helpful.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    what do you call a fly with no wings?

    a walk



    why did Karl Marx drink camomile tea?

    because proper tea is theft
  • SkinnyMusic
    SkinnyMusic Posts: 52
    A pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrrgh, it's driving me nuts!!"

    Blood On The Dance Floor.

Categories