Anyone have any really bad jokes?

Options
245

Replies

  • davidpearly
    davidpearly Posts: 177 Member
    Options
    a neutron walks into a bar and sits down, the bartender ask "what will you have. The neutron looks at the beer on tap and ask how much for a bud light, the bartender replies "for you, no charge"
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    Options
    Cable news stations are legitimate.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    Options
    Cable news stations are legitimate.
    Not-funny_zps6f507aa4.gif
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Options
    What's the difference between jam and jelly?

    I can't jelly my **** up your ***
  • bdburch
    bdburch Posts: 127
    Options
    What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta

    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
    Ten-tickles

    What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator

    What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
    Bison
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Options
    The first joke my 5 year old thought up by by himself:

    What do you call a ship that sails through your body? A blood vessel :laugh:

    PM me for a rude one that I don't want to be banned for:blushing:
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    Options
    Why did the mouse cross the road?
    It was stapled to the chicken.

    Whats read and green and goes round and round?
    A frog in a blender.

    Rejected Dr. Suess Books-
    1. One *****, Two *****, Dead *****, Blue *****
    2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
    3. Fox in Detox
    4. Who Shat in the Hat?
    5. Horton Hires a Ho
    6. The Flesh Eating Lorax
    7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
    8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You?
    9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
    10. The Cat in the Blender
    11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F*** Out!
    12. Are You My Proctologist?
    13. Yentl the Lentil
    14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
    15. Aunts in My Pants
    16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
    17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
    18. The Grinch's Ten Inches
  • baxgilter
    baxgilter Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    bumping

    My husband is at BCT and I put a joke in every letter I write, this will be helpful.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Options
    what do you call a fly with no wings?

    a walk



    why did Karl Marx drink camomile tea?

    because proper tea is theft
  • SkinnyMusic
    SkinnyMusic Posts: 52
    Options
    A pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrrgh, it's driving me nuts!!"

    Blood On The Dance Floor.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    Options
    Why did the mouse cross the road?
    It was stapled to the chicken.

    Whats read and green and goes round and round?
    A frog in a blender.

    Rejected Dr. Suess Books-


    16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
    17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm

    GOLD! :laugh:
  • cls_333
    cls_333 Posts: 206 Member
    Options
    Why did the one-handed gorilla cross the road? To get to the second-hand shop on the other side. :blushing:
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    Options
    Oscar Pistorious wanted a new bathroom door...

    but his missus was dead against it.
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    Options
    What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
    Polaroids.
  • zimmZimminny
    zimmZimminny Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    Where can you find a legless turtle?

    Where you left it.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    Options
    What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?



    Dr. Dre
  • BuffyEat2Live
    BuffyEat2Live Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    A man hires a prostitute to surprise his 70 year old father on his birthday.

    He answers the door and their is a beautiful young woman. She opens her coat, wearing little underneath, and says,

    "I'm here to give you super sex!!!"

    He said, "I'll take the soup."
  • themightywind
    themightywind Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    So there are these two muffins in an oven... The first muffin looks over at the other one, tugs his muffin liner a little, and says, "Man, it sure is hot in here..."
    The other muffin says, "AAAHHHHH!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!"
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    Options
    BUMPING FOR THE LOLZ.
  • JadeLovesGin
    JadeLovesGin Posts: 26
    Options
    "Wanna play the rape game?"
    "No"
    "That's the spirit!"

    I just laughed out loud in the office!!!

Categories