Anyone have any really bad jokes?
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a neutron walks into a bar and sits down, the bartender ask "what will you have. The neutron looks at the beer on tap and ask how much for a bud light, the bartender replies "for you, no charge"0
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Cable news stations are legitimate.0
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Cable news stations are legitimate.0
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What's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly my **** up your ***0 -
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison0 -
The first joke my 5 year old thought up by by himself:
What do you call a ship that sails through your body? A blood vessel :laugh:
PM me for a rude one that I don't want to be banned for:blushing:0 -
Why did the mouse cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Whats read and green and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
Rejected Dr. Suess Books-
1. One *****, Two *****, Dead *****, Blue *****
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox in Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho
6. The Flesh Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. The Cat in the Blender
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F*** Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?
13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants
16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
18. The Grinch's Ten Inches0 -
bumping
My husband is at BCT and I put a joke in every letter I write, this will be helpful.0 -
what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk
why did Karl Marx drink camomile tea?
because proper tea is theft0 -
A pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrrgh, it's driving me nuts!!"
Blood On The Dance Floor.0 -
Why did the mouse cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Whats read and green and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
Rejected Dr. Suess Books-
16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
GOLD! :laugh:0 -
Why did the one-handed gorilla cross the road? To get to the second-hand shop on the other side. :blushing:0
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Oscar Pistorious wanted a new bathroom door...
but his missus was dead against it.0 -
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.0 -
Where can you find a legless turtle?
Where you left it.1 -
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre0 -
A man hires a prostitute to surprise his 70 year old father on his birthday.
He answers the door and their is a beautiful young woman. She opens her coat, wearing little underneath, and says,
"I'm here to give you super sex!!!"
He said, "I'll take the soup."0 -
So there are these two muffins in an oven... The first muffin looks over at the other one, tugs his muffin liner a little, and says, "Man, it sure is hot in here..."
The other muffin says, "AAAHHHHH!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!"0 -
BUMPING FOR THE LOLZ.0
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"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No"
"That's the spirit!"
I just laughed out loud in the office!!!0
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