Never mind crazy things kids say...

neandermagnon
neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
in Chit-Chat
what about the crazy things you say to your kids, because they're doing something totally bizarre

me, just now (which inspired this thread):


"If you carry on licking the TV I'll turn it off!!!"
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Replies

  • bmstee03
    bmstee03 Posts: 119 Member
    "Now Mr. Triceratops has to go in the trash because you pooped on him and that makes us sad."
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    "Please stop putting my deodorant on your hair." Of course, when I asked her why she was doing this, she just shrugged and said "I don't know." :laugh:
  • Summer_Lunatic
    Summer_Lunatic Posts: 543 Member
    I am sick and tired of _________________. - That one always made me laugh as a kid.
  • krislyn84
    krislyn84 Posts: 337 Member
    Just this morning at my house:

    "Please stop licking your brother."
    "Do NOT put your toothbrush in your nose."
    "I will not talk to you until you are wearing panties."
    "What did you just wipe on me?"
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    "No your (imaginary) zombie friend may not sit at the dinner table."
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    "Can you not wipe your boogers on my arm?"
  • HotAshMess
    HotAshMess Posts: 382 Member
    "Get your fingers out of your damn face. It's gross and you're driving me nuts"
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Did you just suck the oil out of my fish oil pill?
    Your "sparkly" mommy may have said you could, but your real mommy is going to spank you if you do.
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    why, oh dear lord why, did you put Barbie's shoe up your nose??
  • ReclaimingSarah
    ReclaimingSarah Posts: 250 Member
    "What's that stuck in your teeth? Is that book in your teeth?"

    And sadly, yes- it was.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Stop smacking my butt you little creeper! lol
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    "Can you not wipe your boogers on my arm?"

    haha yea, we've had that one before

    "Did you just wipe your snot on me?!"
    ~~Yes
    "WHY?!"
    ~~Because I didn't want to wipe it on my shirt
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
    Stop singing about how chubby my cheeks are.

    If you don't stop pinching my nipple, I'm going to break your hand.
  • Firno
    Firno Posts: 22 Member
    To my 4 year old, "Can you please put something else on besides snow boots and underwear?" or "Please do not stick your markers up your nose?" or the ever popular around our house, "Please stop barking and talk like a person."
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    I try to keep a list:

    "If you don't know what it is, don't lick it"
    "Is he peeing on me?"
    "What'd you do with the 'A,' Lebowski?"
    "That's good ham, huh? Daaaamn straight."
    "I pulled the thing out, and it squirted all over me."
    "Why is the cow wearing a mask and a cape?"
    "Your mom calls me 'Muffin man.'"
    "Don't stick your finger in that."
    "This is a definite 'Mouskatool' situation."
    "I almost ran into the batcave."
    "Don't drive your truck on the cat."
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
    Don't lick that off the table/floor.

    Don't kiss eyes.

    Stop wiping your boogers on my shirt.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
    you won't stick pennies in light sockets anymore will you?
  • ifoundroadkill
    ifoundroadkill Posts: 96 Member
    To my 4 year old as I am getting ready and he is sitting on the toilet behind me, "Really dude, I mean really, did you really just pee all over the back of my leg?!?!" His response, "Yeah I didn't want to hold my peepee down."
  • BamBam1113
    BamBam1113 Posts: 542 Member
    "Do it again and you're watching 'Old Yeller'!!!
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
    "Get off the dog!"

    "No Force choking!"
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
    To my 2 yo, directly after a 20 minute bath and a sit-down on the potty, "Did you hold it in just so you could pee-pee on the chair?"

    "Yesssss"
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Sweetheart we can't kiss our friends at daycare. The other boys feel uncomfortable when you try to kiss them.
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
    I've had to say this often at work when doing speech therapy with the kids.

    "Please stop licking the mirror. Now, say "car"."
  • spozzybear
    spozzybear Posts: 216 Member
    I don't have kids yet but I'm bumping this - some of these are hilarious!
  • ReclaimingSarah
    ReclaimingSarah Posts: 250 Member
    Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies

    My grandmother used to tell me that!! :happy:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    "Stop making my fat on the back of my legs jiggle; you're making mommy sad..." on Sunday, when my 11 year old could not contain her fits of laughter from making my leg fat jiggle.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    You'll pick your brains out!:sick:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    my friend's little girl asked her the other day why grass is green... the first thing to came to mind was 'its painted'!!

    i told her the poor kid will be mocked at school in a couple of years if she goes round saying that!
  • BoboDoesPrimal
    BoboDoesPrimal Posts: 5
    "Now Mr. Triceratops has to go in the trash because you pooped on him and that makes us sad."

    HAHAHAHAHA!

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