Never mind crazy things kids say...

Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies

Damn my mom pulled that one on me more times than I can count. I don't have a situation like this but my dad's pulled a bunch of them. Some of his favorites were:

"It's not a democracy, it's a Dad-ocracy."

"Confusius say, man with one eye red and one eye green, go stand on side of street and look like stoplight."

"Because if anyone disagrees, I'll teach them math. First question is what is my foot plus your a** equal?"

"Rule #1: I am always right. Rule #2: If there are any questions, please refer to Rule #1."

"I will start a comedy show. It will be called 'The World According to Chuck.'" (Dad's name is Chuck)

"If I ran for President, the first order of business would be to build large statues of my middle finger on both ends of the country and tell the rest of the world off."

"Ask anyone you know, I don't play well with others."

"You know when you go look up the word 'a**hole' in the encyclopedia and it usually has a picture next to it? Take a good look at the picture. You'll see me there."

"News flash to the generation that thinks they're entitled to everything: you haven't done a day's worth of s*** in your life. As far as I'm concerned, if you've only done s*** then you're only entitled to s***."

"Ethan was drying his hands on the dog's back. I had to tend to that."

Why did you shove the marble up your nose

his reply complete with tears was "Because I was Happy"

My horrible motherly reply "Well honey you're not so happy now are you."

HAHAHA that's definitely my fave so far!

couple of weeks ago after watching Betty White Off Their Rockers..I had to tell our 10 y/o no he can't have a boob cake for his birthday

To my six month old this morning... "why are you tasting my arm?"

" And what were you doing while she was putting a bead up your nose"?

Probably my favorite is "butt sneezes" when a kid was talking about farts.

I also got trolled by a 5 year old once. He was learning sign language from videos and I was babysitting him, he showed me the sign language movement for the word "Grape". He spent around 10 minutes straight teaching it to me, extremely seriously, like a true language teacher.

I mentioned it to his folks later and they said he was full of **** and taught me a fake one. Sneaky bugger :laugh:

To my 3 year old daughter before her and her brother's bath, "Stop sticking your finger in your brothers butt!"

i never realized how many kids put thinks in their noses and ears...

Gosh I love this thread - my almost 2 year old daughter has me saying this I never imagined on a daily basis. Mostly related to licking things... another common one is

"It's ok, I can wipe myself, thanks honey." whilse attempting to wrestle the loo roll from her hand... and
"No, I don't need an audience when I pee - I'm a big girl"

Put that back in your underwear!

ROFLMAO!!!

I love this thread:)

"Just because the cat licks her butt doesn't mean you should."

"Stop bathing yourself with your cupcake!"

"No, you cannot brush your teeth with a paintbrush." And related: "Red paint is NOT ketchup!"

"Sweetie, that's a coloring book. There are no words. I can't read it to you as a story..."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have tried to put a dress on the cat!"

"If you don't sit down and behave I will never let you come to the doctor again!" (To be fair, it was an appointment for me, but I'm still amazed she immediately sat down and was silent.)

My mum once said to me (and I'll never forget it for as long as I live) "If you bounce that ball one more time, I'll bounce you"