Chuck Norris....

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Replies

  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
    Chuck Norris can:
    • successfully divide by zero... resulting in a new number so mindblowing, your eyes would melt if you saw it.
    • rhyme 'orange' and 'purple'.
    • make 'life' apologize when it gives him lemons
    • unscramble scrambled eggs
    • make guns sleep with his picture under their pillow for protection
    • count to infinity... twice
    • grow iron sheep and knit sweaters out of their steel wool
    • safely jog on the Autobahn... in the middle... towards oncoming traffic
    • sharpen razor blades with his beard
    • contain 20 gallons of 'whoop-*kitten*' under his 10 gallon hat
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  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,232 Member
    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of saying that sometime corn just needs to lie the f**k down.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Let's do the time warp again!
  • LilOlMe69
    LilOlMe69 Posts: 89 Member
    My 15yr son has a shirt which says ....Champions, the cereal of Chuck Norris! Love it! :)
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
    :glasses: Chuck Norris sold his Soul to the Devil for his Rugged Good Looks and Unparalleled Martial Arts Ability.

    Shortly after the Transaction was completed, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Devil in the face and took his Soul back.

    The Devil - who appreciates Irony - couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.

    They now play poker every Second Wednesday of the month.:drinker:
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he goes to bed.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    644572_10151252878310519_1865207914_n.jpg
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Let's do the time warp again!

    tumblr_lmpmrrDLYb1qbz6ixo1_500.gif
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
    chuck-norris-jeans.jpg

    chucknorristhumbsu1.jpg

    norris_facts.jpg

    toilet+papter+of+chuck+norris.png

    253.jpg

    funny-pictures-chuck-norris.jpg
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
    :drinker: Awesome!!
  • jennmodugno
    jennmodugno Posts: 363 Member
    When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

    Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

    Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    is an idiot.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    When the boogyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
  • Tysonlovesweights
    Tysonlovesweights Posts: 139 Member
    chuck norris is the only person who could kick you in the back of your face
  • mikonei
    mikonei Posts: 291 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
    Chuck Norris vs Abe Lincoln.....
  • nashsheri33
    nashsheri33 Posts: 225 Member
    chuck norris can strangle people with a cordless phone.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    is an idiot.

    :bigsmile:

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