Never mind crazy things kids say...

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  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    "Get off the dog!"

    "No Force choking!"
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
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    To my 2 yo, directly after a 20 minute bath and a sit-down on the potty, "Did you hold it in just so you could pee-pee on the chair?"

    "Yesssss"
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    Sweetheart we can't kiss our friends at daycare. The other boys feel uncomfortable when you try to kiss them.
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
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    I've had to say this often at work when doing speech therapy with the kids.

    "Please stop licking the mirror. Now, say "car"."
  • spozzybear
    spozzybear Posts: 216 Member
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    I don't have kids yet but I'm bumping this - some of these are hilarious!
  • ReclaimingSarah
    ReclaimingSarah Posts: 250 Member
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    Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies

    My grandmother used to tell me that!! :happy:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    "Stop making my fat on the back of my legs jiggle; you're making mommy sad..." on Sunday, when my 11 year old could not contain her fits of laughter from making my leg fat jiggle.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    You'll pick your brains out!:sick:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    my friend's little girl asked her the other day why grass is green... the first thing to came to mind was 'its painted'!!

    i told her the poor kid will be mocked at school in a couple of years if she goes round saying that!
  • BoboDoesPrimal
    BoboDoesPrimal Posts: 5
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    "Now Mr. Triceratops has to go in the trash because you pooped on him and that makes us sad."

    HAHAHAHAHA!
  • lizlucas1
    lizlucas1 Posts: 28 Member
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    Keep it up and I'm giving you back to the gypsies

    Damn my mom pulled that one on me more times than I can count. I don't have a situation like this but my dad's pulled a bunch of them. Some of his favorites were:

    "It's not a democracy, it's a Dad-ocracy."

    "Confusius say, man with one eye red and one eye green, go stand on side of street and look like stoplight."

    "Because if anyone disagrees, I'll teach them math. First question is what is my foot plus your a** equal?"

    "Rule #1: I am always right. Rule #2: If there are any questions, please refer to Rule #1."

    "I will start a comedy show. It will be called 'The World According to Chuck.'" (Dad's name is Chuck)

    "If I ran for President, the first order of business would be to build large statues of my middle finger on both ends of the country and tell the rest of the world off."

    "Ask anyone you know, I don't play well with others."

    "You know when you go look up the word 'a**hole' in the encyclopedia and it usually has a picture next to it? Take a good look at the picture. You'll see me there."

    "News flash to the generation that thinks they're entitled to everything: you haven't done a day's worth of s*** in your life. As far as I'm concerned, if you've only done s*** then you're only entitled to s***."
  • jessiekanga
    jessiekanga Posts: 564 Member
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    I absolutely love these! Great thread.

    Sure thing, I'll get that in "Two Toots and a Whistle!" From Thomas and Friends I'm embarrassed to say.

    Can you please get off your sister's head. She needs to breathe soon.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    "Ethan was drying his hands on the dog's back. I had to tend to that."
  • Freyja2023
    Freyja2023 Posts: 158 Member
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    Why did you shove the marble up your nose

    his reply complete with tears was "Because I was Happy"

    My horrible motherly reply "Well honey you're not so happy now are you."
  • spozzybear
    spozzybear Posts: 216 Member
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    Why did you shove the marble up your nose

    his reply complete with tears was "Because I was Happy"

    My horrible motherly reply "Well honey you're not so happy now are you."

    HAHAHA that's definitely my fave so far!
  • AnitaS71
    AnitaS71 Posts: 25 Member
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    My son is autistic. We've had some bizarre ones. The first two to come to mind are, "Get your sister's underwear out of your mouth!" and "It's not ok to poop on your dresser."
  • navywifeandmomof4
    navywifeandmomof4 Posts: 958 Member
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    couple of weeks ago after watching Betty White Off Their Rockers..I had to tell our 10 y/o no he can't have a boob cake for his birthday
  • bdreilly84
    bdreilly84 Posts: 30
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    If you don't stop hitting my house I am going to make you live outside!!! (my kids beat the walls when having tantrums Ages 4, 6, and 8).

    Dont brush the dogs teeth with your tooth brush!!!

    Alright, who was kissing the TV??? And my youngest replies, "I don't know, maybe Daddy" HAHAHAH (TINY little kiss marks all over it??? weirdos)

    Why is it so hard for you to pull your pants up higher than your underwear! (Always sticking out like 2 inches and no I cant get her smaller ones)
  • slhall0822
    slhall0822 Posts: 128 Member
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    To my six month old this morning... "why are you tasting my arm?"
  • Freemyskinny
    Freemyskinny Posts: 207
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    My nephew ..(i was babysitting and I woke up to him changin' the channels on my bedroom tv)
    me: what..what are you dooin'.?
    him: lookin' for spunn-ge bob.!
    me: Spunn-ge bob..?? he sleeps.!

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