How do you beat the defeat?

SarahHebert1
SarahHebert1 Posts: 98 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm trying to get back into exercising. Unfortunately, because I am so out of shape, every time I attempt to workout, walk, jog, swim... any physical activity, really, I end up having to stop before I would like to. I used to be much more athletic.

I then end up battling my inner self. When I should feel proud that at least I'm trying, that I worked hard for the 20 mins, 30 mins, whatever - instead I end up mad at myself for failing. I feel so defeated that I can't even accomplish simple fitness activities that I get the urge to not even try.

How does everyone else beat these feelings of failure and defeat when trying to get back into exercise?

Replies

  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    I had those feelings when I first started. Cardio in general was boring to me and therefore after about a week - I would feel discouraged. Then I started doing little bits of strength training using circuits of situps, pushups, planks, wall squats, squats, lunges, and anything else I could find. ( I actually started with a site called Nerd Fitness)

    As the days progressed, I was able to see that I was getting stronger each week - even if only by doing 1 more push up or 10 seconds more on a plank. It was very powerful and very encouraging to me.

    Now I lift heavy weights. I LOVE it so much. Cardio is a very small side note. So, my advice is first do small things to make your body stronger. Since you have been athletic in the past, it will come back fast. Then - find an exercise that you can love and stick with.

    Good luck!
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
    Yep, been there! First you have to get out of your head. We can't start out expecting to be able to run a mile no problem. Start slow and be proud of what you've accomplished. I started out walking up and down my stairs for 5mins for the first week. I then started using the elliptical here at work for maybe 15-20 mins. I would be sweating up a storm, now 20mins gives me just a slight perspiration.

    You can't get upset over what you can't do yet. Be proud that you are doing something, working towards better while others are still sitting on their *kitten* getting fat. It will come in time and actually it won't take too long. Just keep plugging away adding a couple more minutes or a smidge more weight every couple weeks. You'll get there! GO TIGERS!!!
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    Set short term goals for yourself. Give your self something to aim for...something realistic! I think walking is great for someone who is just starting to get back to exercising. When I started, I walked, then did 15 minutes on the elliptical, and just slowly increased the time/distance. Do at home exercises too. Start with maybe 10 crunches, 3 push ups etc, then each day, add another one, and slowly build up. Doing anything is better than doing nothing. No matter what you did, it's still better than that. Keep up the good work!
  • amandattown
    amandattown Posts: 17 Member
    If you belong to a gym, try taking fitness classes. I'm so bad at regulating workouts myself, I always quit before my goal. But in fitness classes it's embarrassing to quit before the end, and I end up working harder because everyone around me is working hard! That's what got me through the defeat... now that I am more in shape I can work harder on my own as well.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    What finally worked for me was that I decided to ENJOY my workouts so I'd be more likely to do them again. I started out walking, only 2mph for 10 minutes. A walk I'd enjoy, not suffer through or even sweat. It worked! Once I got started, I couldn't stop. I walked over 1,000 miles for charity, and ME, last year, dropped 40lbs, started jogging with C25K & complete it then started and finished the 5k to 10k bridge, started running, biking, etc. and I still love it. Yeah I'll have a bad day once in a while, so I just go back to that first day, slow down, and make sure I enjoy it. It's totally worth the effort and so am I!
  • NewCaddy
    NewCaddy Posts: 845 Member
    I find that if I combine personal workouts with class workouts I do better. I try to mix it up. One day I'll go to the gym and do the elliptical/treadmill/bike. The next I might stay at home and do a workout video on youtube (30 day shred is my current one). Then I'll do a Water Aerobics class. Then I throw in a Zumba class. Some days I do weights. I also joined some groups that give out daily challenges (you can search for those). They give me something new -- 100 calf raises, 100 jumping jacks, 100 butt lifts, eat a salad, etc (they also provide a link for a demonstration of the exercise so we know what we are doing).
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    For me it was a bit easier because I never was that altheltic but I can sympathise with you because I have had injuries in the past couple years that kept me from achieving my goals.

    I think maybe it's like comparing your weight loss to someone else's. If you do that and they're doing better than you for whatever reason, that can be discouraging. So stop comparing your current self to your former self because this is too discouraging. Instead, keep track of your current progress. Maybe even keep more detailed records than you would on you MFP exercise log.

    For instance, maybe 2 weeks ago you were only able to walk 1/2 mile very slowly but 6 months from now, you'll be able to walk 3 miles (or more) at 3.5 or even 4 mph. Same with swimming, jogging, strength training. Keep track of more exact details of your workouts and when you feel discouraged, look back a month or so and see how far you've really come!
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
    Set exercise goals for your self just a little bit outside what you can currently do. Each time you meet one it gets a little more exciting and you don't feel defeated. change up time and distance say I will do this far in this amount of time. Next time I will do the same distance less time or go further in the same amount of time.

    Only 2.5 weeks ago I was doing the stationary bike 8 miles in 30 minutes I ended board and defeated. This morning I did 12 miles in 39 minutes. I kept going and did a total work out of 14 miles in 45 minutes including cool down.

    I did this by setting a goal of 10 miles no matter how long it took and it about 40 min

    then added a 5 min cool down and tried to see if I could do 11 miles in 45

    then 12 miles in 45 - I actually hit 12 miles in 43 minutes
    then tried 12 miles in 40 minutes
    then 12 miles under 40 (did this first time today 39 min)
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    I was just talking with my Mom about this exact thing last night. When I first began a year ago I could barely walk 1.5 miles without getting out of breath and it caused me to not even want to try because then I had to admit that I let it get that bad. It took a few months, but I worked up to walking 8 miles a day at 4 mph after around 3 months and now I go to the gym 5 days a week(90 minutes) or do 45 minutes of kickboxing or circuit daily and walk 45 minutes.
    Take it one day at a time and track your progress so you can see how far you have come. It WILL take time to be very fit and there is not a way around that....if you set weekly goals that you surpass that will keep your enthusiasm up though. I like to set goals like beating my past time or if I can't do something in a DVD for the full count I will push to do more the next time. Remember to be as kind to yourself as you would a good friend who was struggling and you will get there....great job beginning your activity already and best wishes!
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    Try making a fitness plan to get back to where you once were. I am having the same problem with my lifting. Back when I played football, I was lifting a respectable amount of weight. By comparison, where I started when I got back into it after gaining so much weight and being sedentary for so long, I was embarassed by what I could lift. I am slowly making my way back to where I want to be. Good luck.
  • LozPenguin
    LozPenguin Posts: 139 Member
    All about the mindset! I've struggled for years but finally I'm looking at healthy diet and excersize the right way. With patience. Keep trying to change your attitude when you get annoyed with yourself for 'not doing enough', it might help if you work on accepting that it's going to take time to reach your goals. We're all in a rush to get fit/lose weight but I find when you take the 'not good enough: need results YESTERDAY' feeling out of the equation, I do far better at sticking to it (and bouncing back if I do have an off day.) I believe I'm finally on the right path and am doing well so far; I hope you can find what works for you and be patient. You'll get there! :)

    (Oh and plus, the more time it takes, the bigger the victory feels at the end lol)
  • tehzephyrsong
    tehzephyrsong Posts: 435 Member
    My bf is similar. He was in great shape in high school because he was in marching band, and he's having trouble accepting the fact that he's not nearly as fit as he used to be. He's gained probably 30 pounds from being sedentary and eating poorly in college, and it's been a long time since last he sprinted across a football field while playing a trumpet. I'll give you the same advice I've given him:

    1. Make peace with yourself. It doesn't do you any good to beat yourself up. Physical fitness is not something you achieve once; it's a state of being, and it requires constant maintenance. Even skipping the gym for a week or two will set you back. Of course you're not going to be in good shape if you haven't worked out in a while. This is simply a fact of biology and it doesn't do anybody any good to be angry about it.

    2. Decide on some goals. What could you do before that you can't anymore? That's your new major goal. Now, come up with a plan to work up to that goal--be it time, distance, weight, reps, whatever. Add a little more each week. Come up with a plan for yourself to work toward that goal 3-4 days a week, with mini-goals along the way. For example, let's say your major goal is to run an 8-minute mile. Your plan might look like this:

    - Week 1: Run 1 mile without stopping or walking, time does not matter (establish a baseline - do this 3-4 times to get an idea of your average mile pace). For the sake of argument, let's say your pace comes out to 12:00.
    - Week 2: 11:30 mile
    - Week 3: 11:00 mile
    - Week 4: 10:30 mile
    - Week 5: 10:00 mile
    - Week 6: 9:30 mile
    - Week 7: 9:00 mile
    - Week 8: 8:30 mile
    - Week 9: 8:00 mile

    Repeat weeks until it's easy, then move on. If you'll pardon the pun, it's not a race; focus on the progress you're making and how far you've come, rather than how far you still have to go. You'll get there. If running isn't your thing, this sort of plan is easily adaptable to other fitness activities - increasing the weight you lift by a few pounds each week, adding another set of reps each week, adding another few laps each week.

    3. Find a support network. This is also hugely important. Surround yourself with people who know what you're trying to do and will be there for you to provide encouragement and praise your progress, people who will affirm that you can do this and you're awesome. If you're getting down on yourself for not being able to do as much as you used to, you need someone to pull you back into the present and point out how awesome you are for accomplishing what you have. If you're making an omelet and you drop an egg, you don't have to dump the rest on the floor; similarly, just because you're in worse shape now than you used to be doesn't mean you're a lost cause. Consider your present fitness level as a minor setback, one which you can and will overcome.

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