Friends w/ stupid diets - do you say something?

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  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
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    My friend was posting on fbook about her HCG drops. I did say something and all of the sudden I became the jealous "B" who envied her success. So I kept my mouth shut, even after she lost 20 and gained back 35.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    I listen to what they tell me and laugh quite loudly on the inside.
  • BetsyAnn2013
    BetsyAnn2013 Posts: 37 Member
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    I wouldn't tell her how unhealthy her diet is. If she's not successful, it won't last long anyway. I would suggest MFP just for the supportive community. You can lead a horse to water... I was always embarrassed by my failed dieting attempts and didn't talk about them. Now I've just accepted that I'm in it for a lifetime and a fad never lasts that long.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    I respect people's right to make their own choices as they are adults, so I don't lecture or criticise. What I might do is respectfully share what works for me or what I've learned, as an alternative and suggestion for them to consider in case they want to try something different. But I wouldn't repeat myself or be pushy about it.

    my 2.

    and use the "sandwich method"

    place your differing opinion between two nice big compliments.

    Bread- "wow, you have worked so hard! What a great job on the weight loss!"
    Filling- "I have been using the guidance and accountability of MFP and have been doing well, too."
    Bread- "Keep up the commitment to your health and life style! you rock!"

    then add "BTW, here is the link to what have been doing MFP URLs HERE
  • GeekTink
    GeekTink Posts: 98 Member
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    You said she was a facebook friends right? Maybe post somethings on your status on how easy MFP is to use, and how you don't starve and aren't hungry all the time. You could also throw in the that you occansionally indulge and it doens't really set you back all that much, as long as you make the calories work. No names have to be mentioned. People would just think you were offering the services of MFP. That's what I did, and it helped some of my friends jump onto the bandwagon with me, and right before their previous "diets" got dangerous or downright digusting. Don't boast, that seems to put a lot of people off, just offer some advice and support. :)


    "Thats all I got to say about that."
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    Lead by example. Show your success off and when they ask you about it, be honest and helpful.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
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    I judge ALL my friends diets EVERY day...
  • bethanylaugh
    bethanylaugh Posts: 237
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    Suggest that she track what she's doing now on MFP... maybe being exposed to all this would bring her around on her own!
  • bacitracin
    bacitracin Posts: 921 Member
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    This has been driving me mad. I have an acquaintance who I am friends with on Facebook. She is quite overweight and recently announced that she is going to start changing her lifestyle to get healthier and lose weight. I was really excited for her! She started a blog about it so I've been following her blog posts.

    Well this week I saw a post that made me really frustrated. She's lost 20 pounds so far and was discussing her diet. It turns out with this "diet" she's on, she can only eat 5g of carbs every 5 hours. Are you kidding me?! I'm sorry, but unless you have a severe medical condition, that's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I mean, if it's working for her I don't want to be mean about it, but I just can't comprehend why someone would do that. Carbs are important, just like fats and proteins... le sigh.

    She also stated in the same post that she didn't lose this week because she "cheated" and ate one little debbie cake. ONE. Now anyone with a basic knowledge of calories would know that one debbie cake is not going to completely negate the 2-3 pounds she should have lost this week. But she honestly thinks that's why she didn't lose.

    She seems miserable. I want so badly to talk to her, to be like, "Hey! you don't have to do this! You can lose weight just as quickly, and wayyy more healthily, by monitoring your calories alone. Check out this site, MFP..." But I don't want to offend her. I know her weight loss shouldn't be my business. Would you say something?

    It's called a ketogenic diet, it's very useful for people with neurological problems or polycystic ovary syndrome (or other hormonal problems). The carbohydrate limit is generally under 20g per day, with the macronutrient ratio around 65% from fat, 30% from protein and 5% or less from carbohydrates.

    I've lost 50ish pounds on it and kept them off. It's an incredible tool. There are a lot of us on it.

    The "problem" that she has had this week, with the little debbie cake, is that if you eat something like that and "cheat", you are thrown out of ketosis because of the stored glycogen in your liver and you retain water for a few days until the glycogen is depleted. I've been known to gain upwards of 10 pounds on my cheat days, though I lose it all again in a week or two, just by peeing it out. It's not 35000 calories, it's just water, and she likely knows that better than you do.

    At this point, I would keep my mouth shut if I were you, since she is losing weight and most likely improving her cholesterol and blood pressure just like I did. If the SAD (Standard American Diet of high carb, low fat) works for you, so be it. She found what works for her.
  • nokanjaijo
    nokanjaijo Posts: 466 Member
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    It sounds like some form of attempting to induce ketosis. That type of diet is beloved by some people. Those people will express the same kind of frustration you just expressed, only at people who think keto is wrong or unhealthy or a bad strategy. The type of thing you just posted drives them mad.

    Your friend is going to have to figure out for herself which group she belongs to, where she is comfortable and what speaks to her. You have no say in that. You shouldn't feel so strongly about her journey. You should just be glad she in on one.
  • dahkneeka
    dahkneeka Posts: 163 Member
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    If this girl is anything like me, she would say something along the lines of
    "I didnt ask for your opinion".


    Some people believe they are doing the BEST thing for them, and, if its working (-20lbs), they may be ignorant to others opinions.

    IF you were to say anything, I would just suggest MFP... she can track her food/macros from there and eventually- she may find the feeds and become a little more educated.
  • jamers3111
    jamers3111 Posts: 495 Member
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    Eh. If she's not a good friend it's really not your place. And anyway, it won't last long. I understand the urge to say something but it just makes more sense to keep it to yourself.
  • MeganGable
    MeganGable Posts: 68 Member
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    I would definitely tell her about MFP, I don’t know what I would be doing with myself right now if my friend hadn’t told me about it. Seriously, I would be so deprived of this wonderful place. lol.
  • Spadowski
    Spadowski Posts: 38
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    When someone is significantly overweight and they get any kind of results, it does reinforce their 'stupid diet'. What is unfortunate about your friend cutting out carbs is that this is just another yo-yo diet. Fruits and many vegetables contain carbs, which the body needs. I've studied (and tried) Atkins, vegan, raw vegan, vegetarian diets, and over the years I've learned that it just comes down to eating whole foods, and ignoring starchy carbs (potatoes, white bread, pasta), as well as highly processed foods. Oatmeal and blueberries for breakfast goes a LOT farther than Fruit Loops.

    Because you don't know her that well, I wouldn't say anything unless she brings it up with you first, and expresses discouragement. That would be a great opportunity for you to say "What has been working for ME is..." But keep it super short and sweet. Like, two sentences, and then let it go. My MIL was lamenting about her weight, and I said I was using this new app and then dropped the subject. A week later she texted me to ask what it was and how to use it, but I let HER make the decision. (She and my FIL have now lost weight and are very happy with MFP) Yes it is frustrating to watch people make mistakes in life, but you have to let it go. Personally, I believe if everyone ate 85% less meat, cheese, and processed foods, there would be no obesity epidemic today. It's frustrating to watch people giving themselves heart disease and diabetes, but it's their life. I try to focus on mine.

    For what it's worth, perhaps you could start your own blog about your success. Who knows, maybe she'll read it?
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
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    I've been there. She sounds like she is desperately trying to find something that works. I have friends that go on strange diets because they really do want to loose weight. They are so tired of being overweight. I don't usually confront them unless they ask me for my opinion...then the gloves come off. LOL On Facebook, I post nutritional information and other things that are healthy.
  • Catlady87
    Catlady87 Posts: 302 Member
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    I'd casually mention what you're doing and if she's not interested, she's not interested.

    That's exactly the advice I was going to give. It's not being pushy, it's not taking away from her successes and it shows her you've got a similar story re weight loss.
  • FitGuyWillDoIt
    FitGuyWillDoIt Posts: 111 Member
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    You can only gain the amount of weight that the food weighs. If a snack cake weighs 6 oz. then that's all you'll gain from eating it. It's scientifically and mathematically impossible.
  • tsherm3850
    tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
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    My coworker was discussing this 8 hour diet. Stupid! You can only eat between the hours of 9am - 6pm. She does all these fad diets, Sensa, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem. Hey, here's a thought, what about eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Limit the processed foods. Drink water. Exercise.
  • Jackielyn17
    Jackielyn17 Posts: 80
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    What if they ask your opinion?? LOL my boytoy is starting a new diet plan, probably values my opinion, then I gave it to him straight up and he didn't like what i had to say... not MY fault his 'trainer' doesn't know what he's talking about... The guy doesn't even know him and is charging him pennies...
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
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    Yes I'd say something if I thought that they were being unhealthy or dangerous, something along the lines of it's great that they are working to lose weight, but I am concerned about the long term effects, I want them to be healthy, etc. Sometimes people are actually just misinformed and if it was me I would want to have the best information possible so I try to share that. But at the end of the day you can't change people by nagging them, so you have to be willing to let it go if they are not receptive (unless they are seriously hurting themselves in which case nagging is the least of their/your problems).

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