What would you do?

Karen2358
Karen2358 Posts: 20
in Health and Weight Loss
So, had to go shopping this evening to buy a birthday present for my granddaughter. Called home to see if my husband needed me to pick up anything and he suggested stopping to get dinner. Asked him what he wanted and he said it was up to me since I had so many issues with finding food to eat (I don't, lol, but anytime I mention eating healthy, he calls it issues). I told him I could find something pretty much anywhere and just to pick a place. He knew I was right next to a McDonald's so he asked if that was okay - of course it was... probably not my first choice, but you have to deal with it. So I checked out with the gifts, and walked over to McDonalds and waited for his text saying what he wanted. In the meantime, I decided on two grilled chicken snack wraps minus the sauce for myself. Not too bad, all things considered. And then I got the text... two big macs, a filet o fish, a large fry and an apple pie. Seriously???? (Yes, he has a weight problem as well) I bought it for him, but I couldn't sit and watch him eat it all when I got home... which of course makes me the meanie. What would you have done?

Replies

  • CamillaBeaumont
    CamillaBeaumont Posts: 56 Member
    At the point where he said it was up to me, I would have made a choice of something that I liked instead of letting him pick. When he is the one out picking up the food then he can choose the restaurant.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,347 Member
    Wow, that's quite a meal.

    Maybe don't pick McDonalds when he leaves it up to you? When you have control of where the food comes from, choose somewhere where he can't do that kind of damage. Having said that, though, its almost impossible to make someone change their lifestyle when they aren't ready or don't want to. Have you spoken to him about joining you in getting healthier?
  • mrsgeneric
    mrsgeneric Posts: 143 Member
    Its not your body the junk is goin into so i would buy it for him its him eating it not u!!! When ges ready he will eat healthier
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Keywords / statements in my opinion:
    "he said it was up to me"
    "I told him... to just pick a place"
    "he knew I was right next to McDs"
    "asked if it was ok"


    If he has a weight problem, and you both struggle with diet, then rather than offer the choice, when he said it was up to you to decide, I would have done just that and decided on something as healthy as possible for the both of you.

    By putting the option back in his court, and reaffirming you were ok with his decision, there isn't really any room to be bothered by his choice of food.

    Congrats on making as healthy choice as possible given the McDonalds menu, but next time, maybe take more control and just bring something home for the both of you that facilitates healthy options.
  • navywendy00
    navywendy00 Posts: 40
    If he has a weight issue I wouldn't have bought it. Let him be pissed but he will thank me when he doesn't have a heart attack one day. I also would have picked a place and not let him choose.
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    Well it sounds crude but increase his life insurance policies on him when he asks why you are doing that tell him if he doesn't care about his health that you are going to cash in on his stupidity..... I kind of did that with my wife a few years ago and it worked for a while...
  • lcyama
    lcyama Posts: 209 Member
    i am trying to eat whole foods most of the time. my sweet husband wanted to check out the farmer's market with me this evening. we get there, and buy some cauliflower and cilantro, and then he wants to get a baked pretzel. yes, a pretzel isn't so horrible, but i just wanted to get home and cook up my own homemade meal... it was terrible sitting there listening to him eating his buttery pretzel... and btw he followed up with takeout chinese food... i feel like i'm being petty but really, every meal is a choice, am i right?


    mcd's. not for years. it's an addiction.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Many times a person when presented with somebody who is making healthy choices (especially one close to them), becomes resistent to it... They may even go a bit overboard in their unhealthy eating in a sort of passive resistance... Not much you can really do about it for now... until HE is ready to change. If and when that time comes, don't be surprised if he don't go more overboard the other way as he is going overboard with his unhealthy habits now.
  • Karen2358
    Karen2358 Posts: 20
    I'm not sure there is a restaurant that he wouldn't have pulled something similar - and I honestly didn't care as far as my own meal choices because I truly can find something healthy to eat anywhere I go. Food and healthy cooking have become a major bone of contention since HIS lap band surgery 5 years ago. I finally had to simply let go to preserve my own sanity (and his lack of support is one of the reasons I'm here - he simply does not understand that I have serious health issues that can be addressed through diet and lifestyle changes). When he started eating beyond his band and eventually had it unfilled, our drs simply told me to set a good example, but not to stress over his choices... but when he goes overboard like that, it becomes almost physically painful for me to watch. And I definitely have exhausted everything I know of as far as how to react to it... and so... this post. I'm open to suggestions...
  • vamari22
    vamari22 Posts: 22 Member
    I flat out refuse to go to McDonald's/Burger King/etc. 99.9% of the time when my boyfriend suggests them. It drives him nuts, but he gives in usually. I just don't want to put that kind of food into my body on a regular basis. Once in a while I'll give in, but it's rare.
  • keithmustloseweight
    keithmustloseweight Posts: 309 Member
    george-costanza.jpeg

    There are so many things in the original post I would like to address

    but all I'm going to say is

    ISHYGDDT
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    I'd remember sitting down and chowing down right along with him before I was ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle. Then I'd enjoy my meal while he enjoys his.
  • ravenrxx
    ravenrxx Posts: 455 Member
    Try to get him on the healthy path. Being overweight is slowly killing us. & Daaamn, That is quite a meal. Thats not only SO UNHEALTHY BUT That's expensive to!
  • nomorepizza2
    nomorepizza2 Posts: 85 Member
    Calorie and Fat wise, McD's is way better than Burger king.
    I still eat there all the time as I'm addicted. I've found a way to weave it into my diet. If I have a modest breakfast and lunch I can have a Big Mac, Filet o fish and hamburger for dinner and still come in under my calories and fat intake for the day.
    No fries or pies though!
    60 pounds lost in 4 months, 40 left to lose. No need to eliminate things you love from your diet, just budget for them!
  • chrisjathompson
    chrisjathompson Posts: 227 Member
    If my girlfriend offered to pick up supper and didn't like what I wanted just cause she was on a diet, I would be kinda pissed. Try to get him on board with the diet
  • Karen2358
    Karen2358 Posts: 20
    I'd love to be able to find a way to change his mindset, but I feel like I've run out of ideas. Is it my problem because I get so frustrated watching him gorge or his problem for not understanding the impact on not only him, but everyone around him, when he doesn't eat healthy?
  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
    Well I'm an odd Brit who's never actually set foot in a fast food burger joint so that wouldn't have even been on my radar.

    To be honest, if he has a weight problem and you have a weight problem and you wanted a quick dinner, I'd have gone and bought a couple of steaks, a bag of salad and a couple of potatos to bake (which only take about 10 minutes if you do a quick whizz in a micro and then pop them into the oven with a metal BBW skewer through)
  • Karen2358
    Karen2358 Posts: 20
    I'd remember sitting down and chowing down right along with him before I was ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle. Then I'd enjoy my meal while he enjoys his.

    Actually, the first year we were together (we met in '04), we were both working to find a way to lose weight that worked for both of us, so there wasn't very much sitting and chowing down together. I'll admit I was eating more than my metabolism would allow, but I also had undiagnosed Hashimoto's thyroiditis and was on a couple of meds that contributed to weight gain (in addition to being menopausal). I'm still one of those people who can't eat much if I want to lose weight. Our "plan" was to have him have the gastric band placed and me to support him and meet my own needs by eating along with his meal plan. After the surgery, things simply went downhill. I guess the story is more complex than I can go into here, but I'm not saying this from someone who "just" committed to losing weight. I've actually just hit a 40 lb weight loss, even though my ticker here only shows five. I've just gotten much more serious about it because of my own health issues not getting better yet.

    His obsessions with food (and there are many and many types) are just getting increasingly hard for me to deal with.
  • Chadandbradsmummy
    Chadandbradsmummy Posts: 19 Member
    Why did he need to have so many things though? Surely one Big Mac should be enough.

    I wouldn't have bought my husband all of that food whether he had an issue with weight or not. That's just too much.

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