Motivation and husbands..feedback please:(

I just wanted to say I totally understand where you're coming from. I joined a gym and had so much anxiety about being judged that I didn't go for FIVE MONTHS. I kept telling myself "I'll just workout at home" but honestly, I get too distracted. Then finally I just picked a day and a time when the gym wouldn't be busy, and I made myself go for 30 minutes. It's like starting the first day of school...everyone's a little awkward and nervous on the first day, then it gets easier and more familiar with each day. Now I stay at the gym for about an hour or so because it's so peaceful and I can focus on my fitness goals. I don't compete with the girl jogging next to me. I compete with myself. I know the machines might seem intimidating, but most of them will have instructions posted on how to use them. There's also staff who can show you what to do if you're unsure. Ask questions; it's why they're there. They're not getting paid just to fold towels. It took me a few minutes to figure out the treadmill on my first day, but now I have my fav and I go watch HGTV while I jog since I don't have cable at home. Time flies when those tall, sexy Property Brothers are on!!! Helpful Hint: Don't close your eyes while jogging on a treadmill. I went flying off mine last week. Oh those distracting Property Brothers!

The cool thing is that these fears are all in your head and a good workout will help clear your mind. I used to work with the tiniest, skinniest girl, and she enjoyed working out but was SO anxious about being judged, so be aware that this fear definitely goes both ways.

As for your hubby, I'm married as well, and I adore my husband, but he's not always the most empathetic listener...which is why I have girlfriends. But I can definitely vouch for the guy who said men just want to fix things. Let your hubby help you, and make it clear that him getting frustrated is not helping either of you. Don't beat yourself up about not going to the gym so far. It's in the past. It's done. Be kind and forgiving of yourself. Then pick a day, a time, and honor your commitment to your health. If you pick a day together and he shows you some exercises and how to use some machines, I think it would help you a lot. Best of luck!

I'm probably going to sound a little harsh here, but my daighter was the same about the gym or exercising when anyone could see her. I just told her to get over herself. Honestly, no one is that interested in what you are doing at the gym. Everyone is there for their own reasons and generally people watching is not one of them.

As for not knowing what to do, this is an ideal time to get your hubby involved. Ask for his help here. When I started at the gym 25 years ago, my boyfriend (who is now my husband) took great delight in showing me how to do things at the gym - it gave him a chance to show off. Get him to show you then start and do your own research into what else you can do. NROL4W is a great program with detailed explanations on how to execute the exercises.

Apologies if I sound harsh, but sometimes we need it.

Donna

Of the people who even look up from what they're doing, a few may have unkind thoughts. Luckily, they don't matter. More (again, of those who are paying attention at all) will think you're doing a great thing. Because everyone was new to it once

Some people (like people on treadmills) are just zoning and staring for no reason at all, their eyes just kind of fall places.

Like everyone said, get someone to show you equipment so you feel comfortable.

The first time I went to a gym as an adult, felt the same as you. I thought I'd be clumsy, I wanted to feel invisible. I wore the things people who are new wear - baggy shirts and all that. (I think people wearing those things get a bit of slack.)

It didn't take long to learn enough to feel ok, and in a few weeks I was over it. Had to get smaller clothes not too long afterwards Can be the same for you

My wife liked working out more after I bought her some "cute" (I say "smart") looking workout clothes. I don't know what your budget is, but perhaps if you use a little wardrobe manipulation to help your confidence, attending the gym will be a little easier? My wife also will put on her headphones before she enters the gym and then remove them only after she's finished her workout...she says that way she feels like she's in her only little private protected world.

Regarding the "dressing up" thing to workout, ever since playing ball in college and high school, I've had my workout ritual where I bathe, dress in my favorite workout clothes (I love all nike/adidas/etc. and all black), tie a bandana on and set my ipod to my favorite music (back in the day it was a discman, and before that a walkman...haha) and then go do my thing. The whole warrior-going-to-battle prep thing has usually worked for me.

Ask your husband for patience. Just straight up tell him that even though he's eager to have you join him, his approach turns you off and doesn't help. Just ask for patience and promise you'll do your best, and then deliver!

Whatever happens...good luck to you!

I just joined a gym this week too :-) When I got the walk through I asked when the gym was the most quiet as far as the hours I'd be able to make it. Sounds like you joined without a free trial? During that period I confirmed it's super quiet 9 - 11pm and that's when I go. I made it a point to be friendly with every staff person I saw - from security to janitorial. Now they all greet me like family which helps.

I got some new physical therapy exercises this week to do while at the gym and will no doubt look ridiculous doing them. In my mind I can hear a chorus of MFPers saying "look at her wasting her time balancing on a bosu ball with 5 lb dumbbells, she should lift heavy!" :laugh: But I want full range in my shoulder back. I want to jiggle less. And I know the gym will get me there if I get myself there.

I just want to encourage you too. MFP threads notwithstanding, most people are into themselves at the gym, i personally don't notice anything that doesn't WANT to be noticed, if you know what I mean. Everyone's ideas here are sound and I hope u take certain one's to heart like just use treadmills for awhile until you feel acclimated. Then also try the trainer showing you around and/or hubby showing you stuff or going with you one or a few times if it helps then on your own if that's more comfortable for you. I personally could not stand my hubby to see me, I'd die. Seriously, today I got sick after trying a gross home remedy and the look of dissappointment on his face nearly killed me, so I totally get you.

Finally, my all time favorite blahs buster is to lure myself step by step. I'll let myself have a yummy healthy snack if I at least get dressed in the gym clothes. Then if i at least step in the gym even to just weigh myself or use the spa, another reward. Then while I"m there i might as well check out the buttons on the treadmill & just see how it works. then since I'm at it might as well just walk on it for 5 minutes on low, just to say I did treadmill. then when 5 minutes goes by it feels like i could double it...and so on. YOU CAN DO IT.

You will probably have more people looking at you if you continue to put off your health My experience at the gym is that everyone is pretty much their for themselves and will either help you out or ignore you

When you go in for your first workout ask the manager if they have someone that can show you the proper way to use the equipment for free. Alot of time they will show you how to set up the machines so they are set for you, and can answer questions about ediqute too. I know at our gym there is also instructions with pictures on most of the machines that tells you how to use and shows what muscles you should feel being worked. and you can allways ask someone if you see them doing somthing you want to learn, just don"t expect them to drop and stop what they are doing, they will probably want to finish

people may look and stare but get up dust yourself off and get your butt back in there. If it makes you feel better I have done many embarassing things thus far and so far they have not chased me out with torches and pitch forks!! LOL One of which is when I got home I realized that I had been doing my yoga stretches the whole time I had a hole in the butt of my workout pants and(black with white underwear!) ha ha I have also almost fell of the treadmill becuase I was engrossed in my tv showed which someone unexpected got killed off and I lost my balance.

and if after all the well wishes on here you still can"t bring yourself to do it. check your contract. I know in our state you have 3 days to cancel with no fees or penelties per state law so you might have an out

I have not read the previous replies so I am sorry if I am out of line in anyway.. but I know it's hard to hear those things sometimes but I think its great he wants to support you... even if he isn't the best at it sometimes.

Mine discourages me because he is too lazy to do something himself and wants to sabotage me. he encourages me to NOT workout and shoves pizza in my face every other day!

Hang in there! you can do it!

Think we married twins!
haha