I died today because...

2

Replies

  • zombiesama
    zombiesama Posts: 755 Member
    I'm a zombie.
  • TheLuSir
    TheLuSir Posts: 1,674 Member
    I'm a zombie.

    Happy rebirthday! \ (^o^) /
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    I ate a vegan snack and I'm worried I might be a vegan now. What am I going to I do with all the meat in my freezer??

    This one made me giggle.

    I died today because I went 50 calories under 1200 and now I'm in starvation mode and my body will start eating my muscles and keeping my fat and that's exactly what I didn't want.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    I drank diet pepsi two days ago. Today the aspartame killed me.
  • jpani22
    jpani22 Posts: 10 Member
    This has become my new favorite thread. I love sarcasm.

    I died today because I ate two servings of Cheez-Its. The Portion Police followed me to work and took me out in the parking lot. They could have waited until I clocked in.
  • NobodyInParticular
    NobodyInParticular Posts: 352 Member
    Too much masterbating
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    Too much masterbating

    Sorry :blushing:
  • mummyzena
    mummyzena Posts: 259 Member
    I died yesterday because i ate bacon and eggs for breakfast not toast ironically my bones will now be used as flour in some european manufacturers bread... Makes a change from horsemeat.
  • Permewer
    Permewer Posts: 8 Member
    When you're finished logging all foods and exercise for this day, then, you have my permission to die.
  • TheLuSir
    TheLuSir Posts: 1,674 Member
    When you're finished logging all foods and exercise for this day, then, you have my permission to die.

    I see what you did there. :)
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I died today because my evil twin handed me a poptart and shived me.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    I did today because I ate grains and probably-genetically-modified vegetables. The Paleo mob then came to my house and busted my kneecaps and threw me into the river while they chanted something about me being a "bro" and not lifting.
  • ohenry78
    ohenry78 Posts: 228
    I died today because my evil twin handed me a poptart and shived me.

    Wow, that was unnecessary of them.

    The pop-tart, I mean. What kind of sicko gives out pop-tarts? ;D
  • Fit_Vixen1
    Fit_Vixen1 Posts: 419
    "It must've been something you said" that caused you to die in my arms tonight.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Because when I cleansed all the toxins out there was nothing left. Who knew that's all there was to me?:huh:
  • rockangel8907
    rockangel8907 Posts: 429 Member
    I had bleu cheese dressing.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
    It must've been something you said
    I just died in your arms tonight
    Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
    It must've been some kind of kiss
    I should've walked away
    I should've walked away
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
    It must've been something you said
    I just died in your arms tonight
    Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
    It must've been some kind of kiss
    I should've walked away
    I should've walked away

    You arrogant *kitten*. You've killed US!
  • raychulj
    raychulj Posts: 458 Member
    I ate 1400 cals in fast food. Drank a diet soda and running on little sleep. I also drank last night. RIP me.
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    I had an erection that lasted longer than 4 hours
  • ohenry78
    ohenry78 Posts: 228
    Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
    It must've been something you said
    I just died in your arms tonight
    Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
    It must've been some kind of kiss
    I should've walked away
    I should've walked away

    Maybe a little more "walking away" and you wouldn't have died in my arms :P
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I had an erection that lasted longer than 4 hours

    I have needs. I thought you'd be able to keep up. :blushing:
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I died today because I had french fries for breakfast. And then I almost died again because the only reason I didn't dip them in mayo with my ketchup was because the boyfriend threw out my mayo.

    I would have happily died to dip my fries in mayo this morning.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    because I forgot to forward a chain email :indifferent:
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
    No.

    this is awful.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    what the ****?
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    Paperwork totally killed me.
  • CowgirlKimi
    CowgirlKimi Posts: 107 Member
    " I die daily." Every day, I choose to let my humanness die a little, the selfish me, the "gotta have this or that" me, the impatient me, the lazy me, the moody me, the always right me, the difficult me, the know it all me, the gossip, the liar, the over spender, and so many more versions of me... I commit to let them die daily, so that Christ may live fully in me.

    "I die daily".... 1 Corinthians 15:31
  • dawnsjourney
    dawnsjourney Posts: 80 Member
    these feels very unnecessarily negative


    Yep it seems that way
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
    4lb bag of peanut m & m's

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