Self-Sabotage...Why Am I Doing It?

All your hard work isn't going to go down the drain - unless you decide to let it. You are in control. Don't wait for motivation, just decide to get back on track now.

I don't know how you've been losing up until know, but is it possible that you've been taking quite a black-and-white/all-or-nothing approach to things? Have you been very restrictive on what kinds of food you can eat? When you reach your goal, do you plan on going back to "normal" (ie. your pre-MFP lifestyle) or do you plan on never again eating Cheetos or fast food? Do you plan to give up calorie counting when you reach goal? There isn't just one right answer to these questions, but it is worth thinking now about how you are going to transition into maintenance. Chances are, you are going to want to eat certain foods that you like at least sometimes, so how can you do that, but still manage your weight? Are you one of those people that has a bad day in terms of eating and thinks "oh well I've blown it now so I might as well carry on"?

I have recently reached my goal and have found the transition quite difficult. I have also had a few days of panic-induced overeating, and had similar thoughts to yours. Why am I sabotaging myself now when I've done so well for over a year? For me, I think it has just been part of the process of getting my head around maintaining, and the fact that I have been successful. I'm not sure, but maybe part of me wasn't ready to stop losing. Or maybe I was rebelling against the knowledge that I will still need to be very conscious of what I eat. I do know that as soon as I just started eating right and exercising again, I was back on track. I feared somehow letting it all go and regaining all the weight, but that's not going to happen, because I refuse to let it.

You haven't failed at this. You can't fail unless you give up. Your waist is probably expanding - at least partly - due to bloating. Just get back to eating right, logging and exercising. If it helps to spend a bit of time eating at your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure/"maintenance") then do so. Just keep logging, so you know where you are. That might be what your brain needs to chill out a bit before gearing up for the final few pounds.

I agree maybe therapy would be a good idea, try to figure out what it is that causes you to feel like giving up. Good Luck, you've done great and you can do this...want it! Do It!

You need to adopt a life style change.

Sabotaging yourself with 5 lbs left and sabotaging yourself when you're at your goal weight are no different,

You need to find what works long term for you.

PS. Cheetos at breakfast? For god's sake woman if you're going to indulge make it worth it. i.e. pancakes with syrup

"PS. Cheetos at breakfast? For god's sake woman if you're going to indulge make it worth it. i.e. pancakes with syrup"
.... So funny!!!

You need to adopt a life style change.

Sabotaging yourself with 5 lbs left and sabotaging yourself when you're at your goal weight are no different,

You need to find what works long term for you.

PS. Cheetos at breakfast? For god's sake woman if you're going to indulge make it worth it. i.e. pancakes with syrup

REAL maple syrup, not that other crap.

When you figure it out, please let me know! I've done exactly the same thing. I was doing awesome until the holidays hit and then I literally gobbled up half of the weight I had lost.
A slow and steady "one day at a time" approach seemed to work well for me before but I'm having a hell of a time being consistent again. I signed up for another Tough Mudder in June so maybe that will help on the motivational side.

If you have time to write a post complaining about it, you have time to exercise. Just go do it!

Sometimes you just have the act (or exercise) yourself into right thinking instead of thinking yourself into right acting. Basically, do the action, the thought process will follow, instead of re-developing the thought process (motivation) necessary to bring about the action.

It happened to me too. We tend to reward ourselves with food similar to dogs. lol.

It is tough to stay motivated when we are so close our goal and there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

What did you envision happening when you hit your goal weight?

Did you think your whole life and body image would be fixed? Did you think you'd be a different person?

Could you be scared that, after thinking everything would be different if only you were x pounds, that you'd get there and still be the same person, just without the usual weight explanation for feeling unhappy?

Were you using body fat as protection against the world? So giving it up means you felt vulnerable?


If you understand the reasons why being bigger seemed like a good idea in the first place, why it served a purpose, then maybe you can understand why you binged just as you were nearly at your target.

You know, I have been there also, lost some weight, and then for some reason, go back to the old habits and then the weight comes back. I have recently started Yoga classes - beginner classes, as I am new to this - and I find that the total inward reflection on your body and how awesome it is and how hard it works for you can totally give you the peace and calm you need to stay focused on the goal that you have set for yourself. Also, I think it teaches you to not be so hard on yourself, just get up and go again. Good luck to you and I am sure you will get it back on track.

It happens. Previously mentioned, but you writing this now and realizing that this is a problem for you is a key step. Now that you're aware, before you're about to sabotage (eat junk, stop your exercise routine, etc) think about what you're doing and ask yourself why you're doing it. If you don't know the answer, at least stopping to think about it for a second might help you make a better choice before you go for that bag of chips or decide you're not going to exercise that day.

As you can see you are not alone in this. I fall right into this category too. In fact, reading your blog sounds like a page from my life.

While I am not anywhere near my goal weight, I am making small changes. One of the things that has really helped me change my way of thinking and from focusing on the negative is setting new exercise goals. After rejecting the idea of running my entire life I started running at the age of 42. First goal was a 10K, then a mud run, then a half marathon... Once I finished a goal it was on to the next goal. If I allow myself to feel, "Oh, I did that, I can hang it all up now" then I fall right back into the same habits of poor eating, sitting around instead of pounding the pavement, etc. You accomplished your 63 mile walk, how about another walk or a 5K, 10K, 15K, half marathon, marathon to keep yourself focused? I'm trying to run some sort of race every couple of months to keep focused on moving, meeting new people, and having fun while doing it. For me moving also keeps my focus on eating better because it is much easier to run at a lower weight than to carry the weight with you.

I also think, in my case, that I use the weight to protect myself a bit. I've found that I like to disappear into the background and losing weight and being thin brings too much attention to myself. Any attention where I feel people examine me makes me really uncomfortable so I hide myself in a nice insulated wrapping of fat to protect me from scrutiny. Something I'm working on but it is hard because everyone judges you when they see you wether you are thin or overweight. However, for me, even being miserable overweight is far easier because I am mostly ignored and left alone than having any real positive attention on myself. Writing that makes me sound really screwed up I realize but it is true. I feel safer overweight even though I can't stand how I look. I know this isn't sounding incredibly encouraging but I've recognized these feelings so that is a step in the right direction and I can honestly say that every time I complete a goal I feel stronger and better about myself.

I wish you luck on your journey and hope you find something that works for you.

Man. If someone could figure out why we self-sabotage, NO ONE would be overweight. NO ONE.

I think everyone's done this at some point. I've been trying to lose the perimenopausal pudge for five years now, and I'm trying to figure out why I haven't fallen off the fitness wagon yet - my tendency is to do really well for, oh, say, 19 consecutive weeks and then all of a sudden just. stop. going to the gym. I just completed Week 23, and am hoping to keep on going.

It happens - but I think the good thing is you learn to recognize the pattern and you tend to get back on track FASTER. The first time you stop eating healthy and stop exercising, maybe it takes a few months to get back on track. The next time, a few weeks, and gradually, gradually maybe you'll figure out what the derailing factor is and avoid it all together???

One thing that appears to be helping me is better data. I got a Fitbit and I'm using it and MFP and a heart-rate monitor so I can't fool myself into thinking I ate less or worked out more than I actually did. I'm also trying to listen to my emotional reactions to losing weight. And I got my husband to workout with me so we keep each other accountable.

I do think there's a psychological component to all of this.