Looking for the right cleanse. Can anyone help me?
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WinnerVictorious
Posts: 4,733 Member
here's my problem: my wallet is simply too fat. i need to make it thinner. so i'm looking for a detox or a cleanse that will do that for me. the more of these toxic dollars i can get rid of, the better. the faster, the better. i feel this is a good way to jump start my journey to poverty.
any suggestions?
ps - no haters.
any suggestions?
ps - no haters.
0
Replies
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I will take your money, i have just the thing
send it to
111 cranky lane
Cranksville, NJ USA0 -
You need to develop a relationship with a much younger, very attractive woman who needs the money. Become her sole source of income, frivolously indulging her every whim, while she indulges all of your desires!
Can you say Sugar Daddy?0 -
You could get married. Or date me. I have been known to have the 'wallet-cleansing' effect you are looking for.0
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I will take your money, i have just the thing
send it to
111 cranky lane
Cranksville, NJ USA
nice try, but that's not a real address. real addresses have zip codes.0 -
You could get married. Or date me. I have been known to have the 'wallet-cleansing' effect you are looking for.
that sounds like hard work. isn't there something that will magically make all of these toxic dollars disappear? i need a solution now. i'm impatient.0 -
You need to come in for a walletectomy. I can cure you immediately.0
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I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while0 -
You need to come in for a walletectomy. I can cure you immediately.
are you one of those IRS "coaches" i keep hearing about lurking on here?0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while
I sometimes feel guilty for not reading all the responses, but not reading the original post at all??0 -
Get married. Have kids. Get divorced. Pay child support and alimony. BAM! Poverty!
Although I will admit that this isn't the fastest way to detox your wallet.0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while
I sometimes feel guilty for not reading all the responses, but not reading the original post at all??
^this
Speed post-replying at a whole new level.
Still, at $11, it may still help OP with his problem.0 -
I sometimes recommend the twinkie cleanse to those looking or a miracle cure. You eat nothing but twinkies for a month. All you want. You gain weight the first few days, but after a week you're so sick of them the weight just melts off. In order to maintain proper nutritional balance, you drink nothing but Guiness, which has been scientifically proven to have all the nutrients you need to survive.
Disclaimer: This diet has not been evaluated by the FDA or Dr. Oz. Actual results may vary. Non-peer reviewed studies suggest Twinkies may contain toxins causing immediate death. Dear God do not actually try this, I beg you. Offer not valid in California or the Maldives.0 -
here's my problem: my wallet is simply too fat. i need to make it thinner. so i'm looking for a detox or a cleanse that will do that for me. the more of these toxic dollars i can get rid of, the better. the faster, the better. i feel this is a good way to jump start my journey to poverty.
any suggestions?
ps - no haters.
Cocaine addiction.0 -
Try the 'ho cleanse. It involves degenerate women doing degenerate things to you for large sums of money. Quite pleasurable, if somewhat hard on the conscience.0
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Okaay. MY bad, I skimmed and mixed up some words, lol. I admit that I look pretty stupid after reading the post again. Sorrry!0
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My rates are $100 an hour.
The are no side effects...for your wallet anyway.0 -
Okaay. MY bad, I skimmed and mixed up some words, lol. I admit that I look pretty stupid after reading the post again. Sorrry!0
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Go to Experience Life magazines website. They have a wonderful history section & they do healthy cleanse suggestions, almost every January they have some article that's smart & won't kill you !!! Good luck0
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Go to Experience Life magazines website. They have a wonderful history section & they do healthy cleanse suggestions, almost every January they have some article that's smart & won't kill you !!! Good luck0
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I do a cleanse about once a month, by accident.
This usually involves a night of binge drinking, followed by stopping at the Taco Bell drive thru when the bar closes down.
On good nights, I'll have it coming out of both ends. I like to call that a "super cleanse".
Good luck.0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while
Evidence that cleanses are for suckers.0 -
1 strip club (preferably the one down by the railroad tracks where all the GOOD strippers dance).
1L Gentleman Jack
1L Absolut Private Collection
1 particularly fancy dancer with a Versace and heroin addiction and 5 kids
1 Good friend to set you up with above fancy dancer
Blend all together for around 12 hours
Pour yourselves immediately into limo
Drive for 15 minutes to 24 hour wedding chapel
That ought to do it, but if there is any "cleansing" still to be done:
1 divorce lawyer
1 private investigator
1 intervention counselor
Use all together, or add one at a time for an even more intense cleanse.
If cleansing has still not taken full effect:
1 defense attorney
2 paid off witnesses
1 trip to South America via smuggler's fishing boat.
Enjoy!!0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while
I sometimes feel guilty for not reading all the responses, but not reading the original post at all??
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :noway: :huh:0 -
I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!
-its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while
Mega Man picture = Instant Win.0 -
I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse?
nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.0 -
Now accepting applications for Sugar Daddies.0
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I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse?
nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.
Challenge accepted.0 -
I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse?
nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.
Challenge accepted.
I find this post humorous and clever. Props to you. :flowerforyou:0
This discussion has been closed.
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