Self-Sabotage...Why Am I Doing It?
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Self-reflextion/therapy could help you figure out why so you can address and change your habits, but in the meantime, it sounds like you really got motivated when you signed up for the 50 mile challenge in Nov. Why don't you sign up for another challenge (5k?)?. Perhaps the commitment to others will help you to stay on track until you are to the point that you are doing it for yourself.
Good luck0 -
You know, I have been there also, lost some weight, and then for some reason, go back to the old habits and then the weight comes back. I have recently started Yoga classes - beginner classes, as I am new to this - and I find that the total inward reflection on your body and how awesome it is and how hard it works for you can totally give you the peace and calm you need to stay focused on the goal that you have set for yourself. Also, I think it teaches you to not be so hard on yourself, just get up and go again. Good luck to you and I am sure you will get it back on track.0
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You know, I have been there also, lost some weight, and then for some reason, go back to the old habits and then the weight comes back. I have recently started Yoga classes - beginner classes, as I am new to this - and I find that the total inward reflection on your body and how awesome it is and how hard it works for you can totally give you the peace and calm you need to stay focused on the goal that you have set for yourself. Also, I think it teaches you to not be so hard on yourself, just get up and go again. Good luck to you and I am sure you will get it back on track.
Yes! The mental part of yoga is awesome for permanent weight loss. Whole heartedly agree. A regular yoga practice is the best therapy ever. (And I've done lots of the other kind, too.)0 -
It happens. Previously mentioned, but you writing this now and realizing that this is a problem for you is a key step. Now that you're aware, before you're about to sabotage (eat junk, stop your exercise routine, etc) think about what you're doing and ask yourself why you're doing it. If you don't know the answer, at least stopping to think about it for a second might help you make a better choice before you go for that bag of chips or decide you're not going to exercise that day.0
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I think most of us have gone up and down with our weight and the reasons are about as many as all of us. So I don't think your abnormal. I do think when we realize we are the problem and stop making excuses we are making real progress toward fixing our weight problem. I stepped back and examined why I was eating things like a whole half gallon of ice cream at a time in a cold, logical way while I was eating it. I noticed when I was upset I ran for food. I try to deal with stress differently now and hope I have solved most of that problem. Perhaps if you can examine how you feel when your doing things like eating Cheetoes for breakfast you can gain some insight into why your letting yourself regain weight?0
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As you can see you are not alone in this. I fall right into this category too. In fact, reading your blog sounds like a page from my life.
While I am not anywhere near my goal weight, I am making small changes. One of the things that has really helped me change my way of thinking and from focusing on the negative is setting new exercise goals. After rejecting the idea of running my entire life I started running at the age of 42. First goal was a 10K, then a mud run, then a half marathon... Once I finished a goal it was on to the next goal. If I allow myself to feel, "Oh, I did that, I can hang it all up now" then I fall right back into the same habits of poor eating, sitting around instead of pounding the pavement, etc. You accomplished your 63 mile walk, how about another walk or a 5K, 10K, 15K, half marathon, marathon to keep yourself focused? I'm trying to run some sort of race every couple of months to keep focused on moving, meeting new people, and having fun while doing it. For me moving also keeps my focus on eating better because it is much easier to run at a lower weight than to carry the weight with you.
I also think, in my case, that I use the weight to protect myself a bit. I've found that I like to disappear into the background and losing weight and being thin brings too much attention to myself. Any attention where I feel people examine me makes me really uncomfortable so I hide myself in a nice insulated wrapping of fat to protect me from scrutiny. Something I'm working on but it is hard because everyone judges you when they see you wether you are thin or overweight. However, for me, even being miserable overweight is far easier because I am mostly ignored and left alone than having any real positive attention on myself. Writing that makes me sound really screwed up I realize but it is true. I feel safer overweight even though I can't stand how I look. I know this isn't sounding incredibly encouraging but I've recognized these feelings so that is a step in the right direction and I can honestly say that every time I complete a goal I feel stronger and better about myself.
I wish you luck on your journey and hope you find something that works for you.0 -
I've lost 150 lbs over the past 5 years and the last 50 might as well be 500! You've recognized your behavior - you can ask yourself why forever. And in fact for me, asking why I sabotage is in and itself a form of sabotage (b/c it helps me stall - I'll go to therapy, journal, etc. but all the while I give myself a free pass from exercising/making healthy choices because I'm working so hard at figuring out WHY I SABOTAGE)...why do I sabotage? Hormones, life events, old beliefs of how I define myself, running low on self-love and a sense of worth, fear (usually fear)...this isn't an easy question to answer. You're not alone, and sometimes we won't figure everything out. Answers might come years down the road. So we might as well be walking briskly or jogging down that road when we stumble upon the answers - - we've gotta travel the road anyway. xo0
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Man. If someone could figure out why we self-sabotage, NO ONE would be overweight. NO ONE.
I think everyone's done this at some point. I've been trying to lose the perimenopausal pudge for five years now, and I'm trying to figure out why I haven't fallen off the fitness wagon yet - my tendency is to do really well for, oh, say, 19 consecutive weeks and then all of a sudden just. stop. going to the gym. I just completed Week 23, and am hoping to keep on going.
It happens - but I think the good thing is you learn to recognize the pattern and you tend to get back on track FASTER. The first time you stop eating healthy and stop exercising, maybe it takes a few months to get back on track. The next time, a few weeks, and gradually, gradually maybe you'll figure out what the derailing factor is and avoid it all together???
One thing that appears to be helping me is better data. I got a Fitbit and I'm using it and MFP and a heart-rate monitor so I can't fool myself into thinking I ate less or worked out more than I actually did. I'm also trying to listen to my emotional reactions to losing weight. And I got my husband to workout with me so we keep each other accountable.
I do think there's a psychological component to all of this.0 -
I'm doing the same thing right now. I have been training for a marathon and trying to slowly lose a few pounds while doing it. I had been getting in better shape and my runs are getting longer. I had a period of eating great and feeling invincible. Then I started eating worse and got to the point that I'm feeling so bloated (my jeans from a week ago will not fit me) that I don't even want to run because I know it will be painful and uncomfortable.
I know what I'm doing and how to fix it (eat healthy and keep moving) but for some reason (myself) I can't get moving. I've done it in the past during training for marathons and other events when I get to a crucial point. There's probably an aspect of fear of success or failure after trying so hard that I just sabatoge my efforts before the actual race.
So this morning I'm sitting here reading MFP looking for motivation to build off the healthy breakfast I had and eat healthy today and to get out the door and move a little so tomorrow I might feel comfortable running.
Little steps in the right direction. Convincing myself it's not all or nothing.0 -
Have you been very restrictive on what kinds of food you can eat? When you reach your goal, do you plan on going back to "normal" (ie. your pre-MFP lifestyle) or do you plan on never again eating Cheetos or fast food?
Quite the opposite, I've been eating what I'd normally eat, just in MUCH smaller portions. Of course, the closer I got to goal, the larger my portions got. Guess I just overestimated my ability to eyeball the correct portions.0 -
You know what you need to do and I feel you are going to do it. Why. Because you are here telling the world (well soon of the world) you are upset with yourself. If you were going to keep pulling the covers up and go back to sleep, you would have faded a way without a word. I don't know if you will be out there in the morning or not, but you will be soon. I am faith in that.0
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Today is the first day I've exercised in a week, but even before that, my exercise routine has been practically non-existent.
But this is where you are doing things right. You've recognized the problem, are taking steps to rectify it, and are able to piece together what happened so that you don't do it again.
All in all, I'd call this a win.
This. You know why you're doing it you like most people (even me and I've been on the planet a lot longer) are afraid to have nothing to hold them back or believe is holding them back. You're doing great and you're still here so I agree A WIN! Looks like you are going to break the cycle :flowerforyou:0 -
Reading through this one, I agree everyone falls off the wagon once in a while.
But it's also obviously to me that you want to continue with the healthy lifestyle you started with your weight loss. Hold fast to the fact that you want this.
Motivation isn't from an outside source - no matter what anyone says, signing up for another race isn't going to motivate you unless you want to be movitated. I personally found myself actually demotivated because I was busy beating myself up that I wasn't training as much as I should be for the race. I ended up running a 1/2 marathon without ever having run a long training run (and my body paid for that, trust me).
I personally also reviewed my food logs from when I was feeling full of energy to see what macros / ingredients I had removed, so that I could tweak to get back that energy. Last year I ran 12 races in 12 months - - and yet at the beginning of this year I was hard pressed to lace up my shoes!
It's all about self exploration - - and it sounds like you're continuing on your way. Keep the faith, and celebrate the small steps. It's no longer the big things but the small changes that will turn things around for you!0 -
Reading through this one, I agree everyone falls off the wagon once in a while.
Hold fast to the fact that you want this.
It's all about self exploration - - and it sounds like you're continuing on your way. Keep the faith, and celebrate the small steps. It's no longer the big things but the small changes that will turn things around for you!
Funny how a bunch of people I don't know can know me so well and give me the words I needed to hear.
You guys are wonderful!!0 -
maybe you're weight loss plan wasn't realistic for your lifestyle0
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Totally normal to have a rebound after a period of deprivation, especially if it's extended, or if the deficit was too big. Don't stress about it. You haven't ruined anything. Eat at maintenance for a few weeks, and maybe go back to a smaller deficit.0
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This thread and the responses in it are really what I needed to read today. Thanks.
I hope, if nothing else, you can at least realize this is normal and you are not alone with this struggle.
Best luck!0 -
Hi .. Maybe you are rewarding yourself with food (subconsciously) for a job well done. This is how many of us end up yoyoing . The greatest thing is that you are aware of the sabotage and yes you can fix it. You can do it , thank you for sharing0
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This sounds counter-intuitive but it can be scary to lose get down to our goal weight. We have for so long thought, when I lose X pounds Y and Z will finally happen! I will put my s$#t together. I will finally be able to pursue my dreams, be a better person/mom/wife/friend/daughter/employee/writer/athlete. So then we get within 5-10 pounds of our goal and we think, wait a second. When I get to that goal, THEN WHAT? I'm still the same me I always was, just smaller.
For many people, the weight is a shield. It protects us from having to examine other stuff in our lives. Maybe it protected us from a relationship we weren't happy in or even something more menacing. Or it's the ready-made excuse for everything else we aren't doing. When the weight is gone, you just have yourself standing there naked. And that is scary. So we start eating Cheetos.
If you have struggled with weight, then there is a mental piece you need to work on as well. This is a good article--very helpful ideas here. http://www.peertrainer.com/how_to_stop_self_sabotage.aspx
That was a great article thanks for sharing! I always self sabotage when I get 7 lbs away from my goal weight. This article helped me realize what I am really scared of is that my loose skin is so bad, I will get there and ultimately be unhappy with the result which I have been working toward for 9 years. (I've lost 70 and have 10 to go) What if I get to my goal and my stomach is still lumpy and terrible. So as soon as I get close I " goof up" . I think when I reach that danger weight this time, I will put away the scale for a few weeks to try and avoid the mental torture!0 -
What else was going on? This wasn't about you just seeing you were close to your goal and deciding to sabotage yourself, really? What other factors were involved? Mood? An outside event? Feeling you had lost control of something else?
Think about the awareness of how you feel, what you're eating, and what you're doing, not the weight or the goal. The real goal is to create that awareness for yourself.0
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