I Feel Like I'm Failing!

rowecourt
rowecourt Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
I started my diet/exercise plan about 10 days ago. I vowed to give up fast food, all junk snacks, and would avoid eating out at all since it was harder to keep track of calories. I think I've been doing good - 1200-1400 cal limit, treadmill or eliptical, bike and low impact weights about 1 hour per day, 5-6 days a week (if I'm lagging on days, I try to get 2 workouts in per day - usually just walking and bike or aerobics at home) My goal is to go from 157 to 125 by mid summer.

I fluctuate on weight, since I retain water easily, but I believe I've lost about 4-5 lbs in a 10 day time frame. I don't look much different.

This is really getting to me, I have suddenly lost my drive to eat less, I guess I imagined I would have more results by now. I don't skip meals, but I keep my cal count low and snack on veggies between meals to keep full. Yet I feel totally unsatistfied by evening, and the last 3 days I have been overdoing it. I eat healthy things at home, but my deficit is getting hard to track when I fluctuate on intake/outtake daily. For instance, I get sick of plain veggies and fruits, so I gobble way too many nuts. Or eat a bowl of cereal and find out how high the cals are once I record it.
Today I came to work and found that my boss had left her Little Caesars pizza in the fridge (we've always shared our leftovers) I couldn't resist! Even after my half sandwich, I lost all control or ways of saying no..and HAD to eat one slice. And last night I over did dinner by eating out and having a heavy soup with my salad, the place I ate didn't have a low cal dressing so I caved and had ranch... and 2 gin and tonics. I told myself that today would be better, and that pizza put me over.
It takes a lot for me to put my mind to something like losing weight, and I feel like I'm breaking my own rules. I get done with work at 11:30pm, but I have to stop at the gym and get on the eliptical for at least 1/2 hour before I can go home and not cry. Speaking of crying, I have had such high emotions, from anger to sadness and all I can think about is the bad stuff that's happened in the past. What is causing my emotions to run so high? I have gotten rid of my digestive troubles and trashy feelings after eating junk, my diet FEELS healthier...but I am suddenly a wreck and its starting to affect how I eat.
Why is this so hard!! I have never worked so hard for something, now I worry I will lose my determination and never lose the weight!!
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Replies

  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    It might be hard because you've chosen to unreasonably restrict yourself. Ask yourself if this eating plan, no fast food, no junk food, no eating out, would be sustainable FOR LIFE? If you think you can do it for life, then just plow through and develop those habits now.

    If you think you can't (and most of us can't, that's okay) you might loosen up some of those restrictions. What a lot of us do is "IIFYM", If It Fits Your Macros. Meaning, anything is on the table as long as you can fit it into your calorie goal. It allows for the deficit while we develop better eating habits without depriving ourselves of things that make eating enjoyable.

    Also, one slice of pizza and one soup does not a failure make. That's not bad eating at all. Being too restrictive leads to binging and giving up, wheras relaxing some gives you room to keep making better decisions, no matter what the last choice was.
  • rowecourt
    rowecourt Posts: 9 Member
    I do feel like I'm being pretty strict on myself, but I hope to never eat fast food again. I would love to adapt to the healthy diet I have created for myself, and keep it forever. Its my mind that is hard to train, and if I don't give myself downright brutal rules, I WILL cheat. I am the type who needs to be pushed to do something right. If I'm not punished for each mistake, I will cut corners and bend rules forever.

    I like the idea that anything I eat is ok if it fits in my allowed cals. But "anything" that tastes good is usually 1/2 of my daily allowance. I'm split between that or eating healthier foods more often. Realistically, I see myself reaching my goal by eating my good foods only. And I wish I could workout twice every day, I love how I feel when I do. But I have a 3 year old and I just have to adapt my workouts to his dad's and my sitter schedule or go late after work.

    I'm waiting for Inasanity dvds to arrive in the mail. I don't know if I can do it, but I definitely want to start it without gross food in my system. I'm going to need all the good energy I can give to reach my goal the right way.
  • Jamcnair
    Jamcnair Posts: 586 Member
    Are you eating back your exercise calories at all? Have you calculated your bmr and tdee to find out what you, personally, should be eating based on your age/weight/height, etc? It makes things so much better!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I agree with Quirky. An all or nothing approach seems like it's just setting yourself up for failure. Have you tried making gradual changes? Check out these links. The group they are from has a lot of great information.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym


    Obviously you have to do what works for you, but IMO the best plan is the one you can stick to. Since you seem to be having a lot of trouble sticking to yours maybe it's time to give yourself less rules to follow.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    I agree with Quirky. An all or nothing approach seems like it's just setting yourself up for failure. Have you tried making gradual changes? Check out these links. The group they are from has a lot of great information.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym


    Obviously you have to do what works for you, but IMO the best plan is the one you can stick to. Since you seem to be having a lot of trouble sticking to yours maybe it's time to give yourself less rules to follow.

    ^ this.

    you are going to be following the same eating rules for the rest of your life, so make them as easy and enjoyable to follow as possible. remember, you are not dieting, you are on an "epic weight loss and fitness odyssey"(TM). diets are temporary and are about restrictions. you want to make permanent changes that you can stick to and still enjoy your life while adhering to.
  • lightdiva1
    lightdiva1 Posts: 935 Member
    Okay I am going to real with you. You want to lose 32 pounds total. You have already lost 4-5 pounds in only 10 days...!!! What are you complaining about. Seriously, that is amazing, and those are results!

    No your not going to "see" the changes in your body yet, that takes TIME. 10 days is but a blink.

    Think of it this way, if you continue to lose at your current rate (4 pounds every 10 days) It will take you 80 days to lose 32 pounds. less than 3 months... 3 months and you are at your goal weight. That is not long at all.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Okay I am going to real with you. You want to lose 32 pounds total. You have already lost 4-5 pounds in only 10 days...!!! What are you complaining about. Seriously, that is amazing, and those are results!

    No your not going to "see" the changes in your body yet, that takes TIME. 10 days is but a blink.

    Think of it this way, if you continue to lose at your current rate (4 pounds every 10 days) It will take you 80 days to lose 32 pounds. less than 3 months... 3 months and you are at your goal weight. That is not long at all.

    Technically yes, but I'd caution that it's extremely unlikely that your losses will continue at that rate. The first bit is likely water. After that it should slow down to around a pound a week. You want to keep expectations reasonable.
  • fayehjort
    fayehjort Posts: 8 Member
    Congrats on losing 5 pounds! Keep your chin up! Don't beat yourself up when you have the odd thing that puts you over. When you are at the grocery store, have a look at the 1 pound block of butter...line up 5 of them and that is what you lost so far. Imagine that has come off your body. It's early days yet and it takes a while for our bodies to get into our new routine. Remember it took years to put that weight on and now our bodies and minds have to adjust to the new way of life.

    It is completely normal to become emotional when implementing this life change. Your body is going through quite the drastic change. Fear not this too shall pass! For everyone it's different. Some people are lucky and don't have to go through this and others it lasts 2-3 weeks. Any longer and pay a visit to your doctor. And I see you are eating at regular intervals so your blood sugars are stable and don't get the extreme highs and lows that is helpful.

    I find it helpful to keep a log of my measurements. I do each thigh, hips, waist, chest and upper arms. I find it may not look like anything changes in the mirror, but have been surprised that there have been changes to my measurements. Measure once a week (try for the same day). And remember you are GREAT!! This is a journey that will have ups and downs just like everything else in life but it makes for such a sweet ending :)
  • tdemiter
    tdemiter Posts: 45 Member
    There have been times where I've lost motivation. Losing weight is tough and requires a commitment. Don't throw in the towel!!! Celebrate little milestones. It sounds like you are overwhelm with making a lot of changes all at once. I've been using MfP for almost 70 days and have lost 15 pounds. Prior to starting I thought I would lose 10 pounds a month by restricting myself and pushing hard in workouts. Well, reality is that doesn't fit my lifestyle. I'm making small changes and I feel great! Scale back a little. If only the weight were easy to lose as easy as it is to put on. :-/. Keep up the hard work. Don't give up!!!
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
    I tried for 10 years to lose weight. I've only ever lost 10lbs each time (most times less) because I was cutting myself off from everything, working my *kitten* off, and not eating enough.

    I started this 6 months ago, and there was only once I felt like throwing in the towel.

    Having 80lbs to lose, I started simple. I figured I'd eat whatever I can fit into my goals (not paying much attention to the macros), until it stopped working for me, and I didn't do a stitch of exercise. I lost my first 20lbs that way. I started slowly watching macros and added walking into my week. New Years Day, I was 35 lbs lighter. A few weeks later, I added in a TKD class, 3 times a week. It's an insane class and I know my burns are up there. I eat at least half of those exercise calories back.

    My loss has slowed SO much since January, BUT since Jan 1st, I've lost 9lbs. I'm happy with that!! It's going to be slow from here on out.

    With having a smaller amount to lose, your goal should be at the most, to lose 1 pound per week. Eat those calories, and 50-75% of the exercise calories you earn each time (I say that because some of the burns are overestimated - unless you use a HRM, eat those all!)

    Set goals for yourself. Don't cut out everything all at once, make it a slow change, and you'll make your goal of not eating fast food again, in time!

    This is permanent, give it time :smile:
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    Open your diary and people may be able to help you with more concrete information.

    As you NETTING 1200-1400? What are your stats?

    With only 32 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for about .5 to maybe 1 lb loss per week. The less you have to lose, the longer it takes. Sad, but true.

    Also, I agree 100% with the points made about being TOO restrictive. If it is not something you can do for life, then don't do it. Otherwise, you will get to your goal weight and start eating "normal" again... and the weight will come back. I could never say that I will never, ever have fast food again or never eat out or never have "junk" food. It is not realistic for me and my life.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
    I just go cheat day to cheat day and make small concessions during the week while staying within my macros to try and keep my sanity. Maybe a piece of chocolate or something. Sometimes I lose it anyway but such is the way of the dieter or body recomposer or lifestyle changer or whatever label you prefer. Dropping weight and changing your relationship with food is going to hurt. There will be pain and headaches and anxiety and depression that you won't be allowed to fix with a dozen doughnuts if you want to continue to lose body weight. You will have to find another medicine. For me, it is running. I lost over 70 pounds and recently gained back like 8 during a month of depression and debauchery, triggered by foot injuries that stopped me from being able to run. Running was the lynchpin that held my efforts together and when I lost it, I got depressed and lost my will to continue. Now I am running again and so I am also completely back on track. Tomorrow or Wednesday, whichever one I wish to use as my cheat day, I will consume whatever I please for dinner and dessert. My breakfast and lunch will probably not change. I will probably eat a couple of vanilla creme doughnuts with a large mocha coffee and chinese food with a coke. Sometimes I will go 2 weeks without a cheat meal but not usually. If you don't take a meal once in a while where you eat whatever you like, you will probably become depressed and fail. Keep going and if you screw up, just start again the next day as if nothing happened. You're trying to be healthy for a lifetime, not just for one day.
  • EOHerrera
    EOHerrera Posts: 45
    I tried for 10 years to lose weight. I've only ever lost 10lbs each time (most times less) because I was cutting myself off from everything, working my *kitten* off, and not eating enough.

    I started this 6 months ago, and there was only once I felt like throwing in the towel.

    Having 80lbs to lose, I started simple. I figured I'd eat whatever I can fit into my goals (not paying much attention to the macros), until it stopped working for me, and I didn't do a stitch of exercise. I lost my first 20lbs that way. I started slowly watching macros and added walking into my week. New Years Day, I was 35 lbs lighter. A few weeks later, I added in a TKD class, 3 times a week. It's an insane class and I know my burns are up there. I eat at least half of those exercise calories back.

    My loss has slowed SO much since January, BUT since Jan 1st, I've lost 9lbs. I'm happy with that!! It's going to be slow from here on out.

    With having a smaller amount to lose, your goal should be at the most, to lose 1 pound per week. Eat those calories, and 50-75% of the exercise calories you earn each time (I say that because some of the burns are overestimated - unless you use a HRM, eat those all!)

    Set goals for yourself. Don't cut out everything all at once, make it a slow change, and you'll make your goal of not eating fast food again, in time!

    This is permanent, give it time :smile:


    ABSOLUTELY agree with this post!! Don't give up! I've been at this since Jan 3 and only lost 9.5 pounds (as of last weigh-in). It's not as fast as I had hoped for either - but once I let it sink in that at this rate, I will be at my goal weight before my target date of November, and knowing that when next January rolls around I will be at my goal weight, I'm NOT giving up. Yes, it's fighting me every pound of the way, but I am fighting back even harder now! I didn't give up eating out. I pretty much eat whatever I want when we do eat out and then I come home and log it. Yes, it usually puts me over my calorie goal, but I cut back on the next meal or the next day, and I do an extra 20 minutes of exercise. I think occasionally (and I don't mean every other day!) blasting over your calorie goal helps to keep your body guessing and shocks it, so it's not necessarily a bad thing. Don't beat yourself up for the occasional indulgence! After all, this is REAL LIFE. It's meant to be enjoyed, not just micro-managed! Cut yourself a little slack, enjoy it when you do, and then get back to your plan. It WILL work for you. Good luck!
  • lizzyb83
    lizzyb83 Posts: 107 Member
    There is a ton of good advice here. My downfall has always been going on a "diet." As soon as I said no to a certain food, it's all I wanted and I would binge!
    You really need to look at it as a lifestyle change. Make one little change each week, and they will eventually add up to a much healthier you!
    If you look at my new profile picture, they are 2 years apart. It took my 2 years to drop over 50 lbs. It wasn't fast, but it was steady. No starving, no spending hours in the gym. To do it healthy, you really only need to lose 1-2 lbs a week. I know it doesn't sound like a lot. Some weeks will be more, some will be less. But doing it that way will help keep it off, and help keep your sanity!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    4 or 5 Lbs in 10 days and you're seriously complaining...it's taken me 5 months to lose 25 Lbs an d I still have 15 to go. 10 days is a drop in the bucket...you're going to have to buck up for the long haul here if you want to succeed.

    Also, I would agree with many others that the "all or nothing" approach is generally doomed to fail. Being that restrictive with yourself isn't usually a sustainable lifestyle. So long as if fits my macros and my calorie goals, it's fair game. I do try to make better nutritious decisions 80-90% of the time...but saying you're never going to eat out or never have an "junky" food every again is simply unrealistic.

    Also, stop beating yourself up for a slice of pizza...big deal...and soup is good for you.
  • monty619
    monty619 Posts: 1,308 Member
    ur doing too much to fast... ur going to feel like sh-t while losing weight if u do it like this, ur goal should be 1-2lbs a week and results should come slowly if u want them to be long term.. seriously u only have been dieting for 10 days and are expecting more results?? this isnt the biggest loser, people dont just lose 15lbs a week, even if they are obese thats a lot of body weight.

    too much exercise.. too little food.. no wonder u want to quit. if u start at the bottom you wont have any more calories to cut or exercise to do and ur metabolism will turn to sh-t. it takes weeks upon months upon years to create the body you want it doesnt happen over night -.-
  • likerebecca
    likerebecca Posts: 57 Member
    4 or 5 pounds in 10 days is amazing.. but it was probably a lot of water weight.. now your body is starving for food.. you need to eat more if you are working out that much.
  • treagal
    treagal Posts: 264 Member
    I'm not sure how you expect to see more results...it's been 10 days? Sorry but that seems a little ( a lot) impatient. Relax, if you are in it for the quick fix this isn't the place to be...you can only restrict yourself for so long. 10 days is nothing, after 60 days then come back and complain if you don't see any results.
  • kb_CG_wife
    kb_CG_wife Posts: 181 Member
    You are doing fine! Do NOT give up! You're only 10 days into this thing and fitness and weight loss is a journey :) It took me 4 weeks to lose a single pound! Cravings will come, cheat meals will happen, one too many scoops of ice cream is okay! Try committing to healthy food and workouts for 6 days a week, and allow yourself to induldge on a cheat day. Also, don't make your cheat day the same day every week, that'll help too. Just keep pushing, don't get discouraged :)
  • kb_CG_wife
    kb_CG_wife Posts: 181 Member
    I do feel like I'm being pretty strict on myself, but I hope to never eat fast food again. I would love to adapt to the healthy diet I have created for myself, and keep it forever.




    Look, you said it right there. You can, and you will adapt. Give it time, sister :) You got this.
  • LeeDahlen38
    LeeDahlen38 Posts: 150 Member
    First things first sister.... If you develop a plan that is so ridiculously out of line how can you EVER expect to stick with it and win? Let me help you with this one...YOU WON'T!!! If it's not fun, I want no part of it.. If I'm hungry, I will eat... If my nutrition is out of wack, everything follows. and furthermore, I CANNOT FORGET that I didn't get this way in 6 months. Why in the WORLD would I expect to be "all better" in that time frame. Now that the "chewng side" of me is done, let the compassion side come out now. Still with me? Ok Some basics I live by everyday. 1) You have to get your mind right for the body to follow. Every morning I have quiet time. abt 30 minutes to pray, write down my plan for the day, balance my checkbooks, and set my goals for the day. Without this step my day is pure *kitten*. 2) I write a positive post to my "team" Telling them the one thing I will focus on today. I truly believe if you start by making one change in your lifestyle each day, it becomes less daunting and you will be less overwhelmed. Zig Ziglar once said: You can have anything you want if you will help enough people get what they want!" It's true. By focusing on helping others to reach their goals, I stay more focused because in what I am telling others applies to me and keeps me aware. and Finally......

    Join my #onepound challenge. I wrote a blog on it. Here's the basis behind it. Too often we are overwhelmed with the 50, 60 , 70 or in my case the 110 lbs we need to lose. Me make so many rash decisions, and step on the scales daily to make sure we were right. (Scales have a delay factor too) I want you to read this blog post. and then pick a day and start. Just do it... now go read. Friend me if you like... I'm happy to add you to my team.. (#NoExcuses) here's the blog.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/commander38/view/just-what-is-onepound-anyway-472455 Much Love and encouragement.... Lee
  • luvmysweet2th
    luvmysweet2th Posts: 15
    I have 150 pounds to loose. I always stay under my calories thats one of my main goals. I ate out last night and kind of felt guilty. I worked out earlier in the day. So why should I feel guilty?I shouldn't is the answer. Its just the mind state I "could," stay in. Why feel bad if your doing so many things right and seeing results. One has to know that for self. I started less than two weeks ago. My focus has to be on total change in and out. Mind and body. Its okay to make mistakes as long as you don't give up when you do. Good luck with your journey.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I agree with Quirky. An all or nothing approach seems like it's just setting yourself up for failure. Have you tried making gradual changes? Check out these links. The group they are from has a lot of great information.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym


    Obviously you have to do what works for you, but IMO the best plan is the one you can stick to. Since you seem to be having a lot of trouble sticking to yours maybe it's time to give yourself less rules to follow.

    Agreed.

    Also, you need to examine your mindset about weightloss if you are disappointed with 4-5lbs in a 10 day period. You can't expect Biggest Loser type results. You should be thrilled about your rate of loss and know that it will take a long time to get to your goal. But, those 10 days would have passed whether you lost weight or not. So, isn't it worth it to work towards your goal?
  • davibaby716
    davibaby716 Posts: 1 Member
    Thanks fors post. It was a really good reminder for me.
  • cristeberga
    cristeberga Posts: 251 Member
    It might be hard because you've chosen to unreasonably restrict yourself. Ask yourself if this eating plan, no fast food, no junk food, no eating out, would be sustainable FOR LIFE? If you think you can do it for life, then just plow through and develop those habits now.

    If you think you can't (and most of us can't, that's okay) you might loosen up some of those restrictions. What a lot of us do is "IIFYM", If It Fits Your Macros. Meaning, anything is on the table as long as you can fit it into your calorie goal. It allows for the deficit while we develop better eating habits without depriving ourselves of things that make eating enjoyable.

    Also, one slice of pizza and one soup does not a failure make. That's not bad eating at all. Being too restrictive leads to binging and giving up, wheras relaxing some gives you room to keep making better decisions, no matter what the last choice was.

    ** This **
  • wildehare
    wildehare Posts: 10 Member
    I have the same problem sometimes. What I do is go to my food, log in EVERYTHING I ate while binging (that I can remember lol) . Put in your menu for the next day, forgive yourself for the bad day and move on to tomorrow . Make sure you are getting the right amount of calories for the exercise you are doing. Don't short yourself or the fat little demon in you will try and make you eat and eat and eat to make up for it.....
  • Elma1975
    Elma1975 Posts: 58
    I would say losing 4-5 lbs in 10 days is good. It is recommended 1 lbs per week. You will see result soon. Keep it up
  • kingscrown
    kingscrown Posts: 615 Member
    When I'm floundering I pick ONE thing and do it well. Then when I'm feeling better I add other things in. I always pick exercise first. I just keep it going no matter how hard it is to get myself to do. After I keep it up the feelings of wanting to control my diet comes back. I've been doing this for over a year. About every 3 months I get that I can't do this any more feeling. I always thing this is it .... I've lost it. I just keep plugging away at the gym and then suddenly I can't figure out why I was having so much trouble.
  • wildehare
    wildehare Posts: 10 Member
    Oops, I forgot to mention. If you are getting tired of plain veggies, Get a nice assortment,--carrots, onion chunks, eggplant slices, mushrooms cauliflower, whatever, spray them with olive oil or Pam olive oil spray, sprinkle with salt and roast in a hot oven 450 to 500 degrees and keep tossing occasionally til they get tender and brown a bit. They get a little sweet and are an awesome snack. I try and make a big batch on the weekend. You could sprinkle them with seasoning salt or garlic if you like too. BIG HELP when you get home in the evening and are starving if you can just microwave a bowl of these veggies.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    Giving yourself brutal rules will more than likely make it hard to be successful, although it might work for some folks. I think sometimes we go into this with an all or nothing mentality whereas a more relaxed attitude that keeps you on track the majority of the time, but allows for some limited "extras", makes it much more realistic for most people. And if you use up half of your day's allotment on one meal, work on figuring out how to eat the rest of the day on what's left...which will probably lead you to including lots of fruits, vegetables and some protein, which is a good thing.

    So don't be so hard on yourself and just get back on track now. Don't use your disappointment in yourself over a short lapse to give yourself a reason to quit. That would be the biggest disappointment.

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