Self-Sabotage...Why Am I Doing It?

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  • mary1028
    mary1028 Posts: 28 Member
    You know what you need to do and I feel you are going to do it. Why. Because you are here telling the world (well soon of the world) you are upset with yourself. If you were going to keep pulling the covers up and go back to sleep, you would have faded a way without a word. I don't know if you will be out there in the morning or not, but you will be soon. I am faith in that.
  • marciebrian
    marciebrian Posts: 853 Member


    Today is the first day I've exercised in a week, but even before that, my exercise routine has been practically non-existent.


    But this is where you are doing things right. You've recognized the problem, are taking steps to rectify it, and are able to piece together what happened so that you don't do it again.

    All in all, I'd call this a win.

    This. You know why you're doing it you like most people (even me and I've been on the planet a lot longer) are afraid to have nothing to hold them back or believe is holding them back. You're doing great and you're still here so I agree A WIN! Looks like you are going to break the cycle :flowerforyou:
  • awesomek001
    awesomek001 Posts: 167 Member
    Reading through this one, I agree everyone falls off the wagon once in a while.

    But it's also obviously to me that you want to continue with the healthy lifestyle you started with your weight loss. Hold fast to the fact that you want this.

    Motivation isn't from an outside source - no matter what anyone says, signing up for another race isn't going to motivate you unless you want to be movitated. I personally found myself actually demotivated because I was busy beating myself up that I wasn't training as much as I should be for the race. I ended up running a 1/2 marathon without ever having run a long training run (and my body paid for that, trust me).

    I personally also reviewed my food logs from when I was feeling full of energy to see what macros / ingredients I had removed, so that I could tweak to get back that energy. Last year I ran 12 races in 12 months - - and yet at the beginning of this year I was hard pressed to lace up my shoes!

    It's all about self exploration - - and it sounds like you're continuing on your way. Keep the faith, and celebrate the small steps. It's no longer the big things but the small changes that will turn things around for you!
  • ImAhTrini
    ImAhTrini Posts: 27
    Reading through this one, I agree everyone falls off the wagon once in a while.

    Hold fast to the fact that you want this.

    It's all about self exploration - - and it sounds like you're continuing on your way. Keep the faith, and celebrate the small steps. It's no longer the big things but the small changes that will turn things around for you!
    . <---- Thanks for this awesomek001 and everyone else who took time out to comment, either on the thread or via email. I really appreciate it. A stumble shouldn't mean the end of my hard work. I'm gonna suck it up, put on my big girl panties and keep on moving towards my goal of overall better living.

    Funny how a bunch of people I don't know can know me so well and give me the words I needed to hear.

    You guys are wonderful!! :love:
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
    maybe you're weight loss plan wasn't realistic for your lifestyle
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Totally normal to have a rebound after a period of deprivation, especially if it's extended, or if the deficit was too big. Don't stress about it. You haven't ruined anything. Eat at maintenance for a few weeks, and maybe go back to a smaller deficit.
  • Zalitharia
    Zalitharia Posts: 34 Member
    This thread and the responses in it are really what I needed to read today. Thanks.

    I hope, if nothing else, you can at least realize this is normal and you are not alone with this struggle.

    Best luck!
  • mizchubby69
    mizchubby69 Posts: 38
    Hi .. Maybe you are rewarding yourself with food (subconsciously) for a job well done. This is how many of us end up yoyoing . The greatest thing is that you are aware of the sabotage and yes you can fix it. You can do it , thank you for sharing
  • stephanj
    stephanj Posts: 898 Member
    This sounds counter-intuitive but it can be scary to lose get down to our goal weight. We have for so long thought, when I lose X pounds Y and Z will finally happen! I will put my s$#t together. I will finally be able to pursue my dreams, be a better person/mom/wife/friend/daughter/employee/writer/athlete. So then we get within 5-10 pounds of our goal and we think, wait a second. When I get to that goal, THEN WHAT? I'm still the same me I always was, just smaller.

    For many people, the weight is a shield. It protects us from having to examine other stuff in our lives. Maybe it protected us from a relationship we weren't happy in or even something more menacing. Or it's the ready-made excuse for everything else we aren't doing. When the weight is gone, you just have yourself standing there naked. And that is scary. So we start eating Cheetos.

    If you have struggled with weight, then there is a mental piece you need to work on as well. This is a good article--very helpful ideas here. http://www.peertrainer.com/how_to_stop_self_sabotage.aspx

    That was a great article thanks for sharing! I always self sabotage when I get 7 lbs away from my goal weight. This article helped me realize what I am really scared of is that my loose skin is so bad, I will get there and ultimately be unhappy with the result which I have been working toward for 9 years. (I've lost 70 and have 10 to go) What if I get to my goal and my stomach is still lumpy and terrible. So as soon as I get close I " goof up" . I think when I reach that danger weight this time, I will put away the scale for a few weeks to try and avoid the mental torture!
  • darwinwoodka
    darwinwoodka Posts: 322 Member
    What else was going on? This wasn't about you just seeing you were close to your goal and deciding to sabotage yourself, really? What other factors were involved? Mood? An outside event? Feeling you had lost control of something else?

    Think about the awareness of how you feel, what you're eating, and what you're doing, not the weight or the goal. The real goal is to create that awareness for yourself.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    I think part of it is that we let our guard down, slack off, and go into auto-pilot when we're so close to goal, which is why most automobile accidents happen within a few miles of home (I forget the average number) and the last few weeks of school are a total loss for many people, etc.

    Good luck shaking off the doldrums and getting back on track.
  • skinnyaline
    skinnyaline Posts: 3 Member
    This happened to me many many times. I think the answer might be simpler than you think. I am usually 20 to 25 lbs overweight. I go on a diet (whether it is Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or simply eating healthy) and I drop 10 lbs in 30 days right away. Then I start to think that I look great and that I can cheat today and get back on the horse again, but that one day can turn into a week and within a week a gain half of what took me a month to lose. Then I get frustrated that it is so hard to lose weight and so easy to eat whatever I want, and I say the hell with the diet and start eating whatever I want because it feels so good! I never get to be really obese because I am very active and I enjoy exercising, but the food addiction is a very hard thing to break because it is socially acceptable. As a matter of fact, lots of times it is embarrassing to say no to food when you are in certain social settings. I've come to the realization that food addiction is even harder to let go of than other addictions because there is a fine line between right and wrong. When you are an alcoholic, having a drink while you are on path to recovery is wrong, period! When you are trying to lose weight, the closer you get to your goal, the greater you look, and when you go to a birthday party and someone offers you cake, and you say no thank you, they always have to ask you, why? You look great, have a piece! Or when you go out to dinner, having warm bread rolls with butter before your meal comes is part of the experience and you just want to enjoy and have a good time, not count freaking calories. When we get closer to our goal, those last 5 pounds don't seem like a big deal. I feel like I am a hard worker, a great mom, a great wife, and I have other things working for me, other than trying to look perfect and have the perfect recommended amount of body fat. So I tell myself, if I want that ice cream, I deserve it. And then before I know it, all the weight is back on. I have thought that I am crazy over and over again! It's a terrible cycle! I really hope I can work it out this time - I just joined MFP last Wednesday and throughout this weekend I already cheated because we went out to eat and I had too much! Losing weight is not an easy task. keeping the weight off is even harder. Those of us that are on this journey should not take it lightly. IT IS HARD, but it is doable. Learn to forgive yourself and continue moving forward. You are NOT the only one on this!!!!
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
    I do it, too. Especially when people (in real life :wink: ) start mentioning that I look good. I go way over my already high calories and just give up. It is a struggle, and I wish I had advice.
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    Sounds like boredom, I know I get that way.... Then when the things get bigger depression starts.... So what I do is get working harder.... And stay clear of the boredom...
  • Naomi0222
    Naomi0222 Posts: 84
    BUMP
  • 2hmom
    2hmom Posts: 241 Member
    Thanks for your post. This has happened to me, too. What I have read from these answers is: I have worked hard and deserve this. Losing the weight slowly helps the mind to adjust to the thinner you. Keep your goal in mind. My parents were no help for my self esteem, they're not going to hurt me twice. Good luck.

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