parents of teenagers - i need you! (not weight related)

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  • sokkache
    sokkache Posts: 220 Member
    I think that you should let them see how it goes and make your son and her tell you EVERYTHING. If she's in such a bad situation as cutting herself, your son might be one of the only people that can help her get better. Just make sure that they're not sneaking out at night and don't go home too late and definitely give him a sex talk. If they're not right for each other, then they will eventually grow apart. You just have to supervise them carefully.

    Luckily, while I was in high school, which was less than a year ago, my standards were way too high for any guy to achieve. lol, I'm still single, but I'm happy.
  • TC1728
    TC1728 Posts: 264 Member
    I have two teenagers. My daughter was 14 when she had her first bf. I was very nervous about it. I talked to her about how it can make the girl look trashy kissing and cuddling in public. Instead of saying no you can't do that I just tried to get her to be sensible about it and to have respect for her self and to not lower herself for any boy. Maybe you could explain to your son about respecting the girl by not putting the photos on fb because it can give her a bad reputation. The most important thing is do not let your son know how you feel about the gf. He is not likely to marry her. It is not for ever. He will only hate you for it and rebel. sometimes we have to turn a blind eye whether we like it or not. Telling them they can't do something usually makes them do it even more.

    This is the best advice I read. I have a 21 yr old boy and 13 yr old girl.
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    my kids are not allowed to have relationships or date until they are 16. This would not be happening in my house. Thankfully oldest just turned 16 and no problems so far.
  • haley255
    haley255 Posts: 117 Member
    my kids are not allowed to have relationships or date until they are 16. This would not be happening in my house. Thankfully oldest just turned 16 and no problems so far.

    You call this advice? You felt the need to comment saying that this isn't happening to you so you don't know how to handle it?
    And you might not realize how easy it is to hide relationships.
  • inkmonster
    inkmonster Posts: 36
    Id just talk to him about it and how it makes you uncomfortable. You dont want to deprive him of love even at that young of a age. taking away his phone for falling in love is not a good thing nor is preventing him from seeing her. in respect just talk to him about the situation and talk to him about the worries of a mother. pregnancy and him getting hurt and such and such. he will feel much better if you just talk to him about it, dont say that its wrong dont say that your angry because its disrespectful of him. hes at that age where you will have feelings for another person. im with the person i feel in love with when i was 13, im 18 and we now live together dont push him aside just because hes 14. i dont think its right for him to do "adult" inappropriate things till hes at the age of consent, 16, 17+ but just tell him to take it slow. relationships can damage a teen.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    We had a similair situation with my teenage stepson a year ago. A young "lady" was messaging him obscene texts constantly. We had "the talk" Explained under no circumstances did we think he was mature enough to deal with the consequences of sexual activity ie babies, diseases, etc. That contraception isn't effective 100% of the time. Showed him proof (statistics, medical photos, etc) to back it up, and when the "sexting" continued we took away means of communication. The severing of communication ultimately severed that relationship and he has grown up a lot. GL to you. That ****s scary
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    This might be the time to do your best to make your house the cool house to hang out at. In Illinois, that house was my parents' house. After we moved to Georgia, it was another friend's house. Her parents were very relaxed and let us have some privacy. If they were worried about us or thought we'd do something stupid, they'd bring it up but they'd talk to us about it. They didn't lecture us about it. There was also an endless supply of Cokes (we chipped in too) and her mom was an incredible cook. It was not uncommon for half a dozen teenagers to be sitting around the kitchen table, peeling and cutting potatoes for fries and shaping ground beef patties for burgers. I'm sure her parents were occasionally annoyed at the number of teenagers going in and out of the house but they did get a measure of security. They knew where their daughters were, they knew their friends.
    So ask your son to bring his girlfriend around more. You'd like to get to know her. Invite her to dinner or a family movie night. Get to know the girl. She may just need some time with a real family to feel some sense of security. If you tell him that she's bad news, he's going to keep dating her but he'll hide it from you.

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