Please Help!!!

SUPREMENOTORIOUS
SUPREMENOTORIOUS Posts: 90
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
My friend is going through a problem and I would like to provide her with the Best advise.....

Here's the story...
My friend is 20 and has a one year old child and is pregnant again with some other guy's baby. So the first baby daddy abandoned her and now that she is pregnant with the second, he's leaving her to.
She lives in her grandmother's house right now, and her family does not know/ nor do they want to know that she is pregnant. (Her grandmother is out of town). So she is basically doing everything on her own. She just got a job and has not started yet. The only source of income is from food stamps.(She pays no rent or bills) She has been looking around a little for ways to get help financially from the government, but no luck.

Today she called me and told me that she was considering an abortion. I told her NO! she can put it up for adoption.
What do you think is the best way to handle this situation???
If you are for adoption, please help me come up with ways to convince her that this is the next best option....

Replies

  • SUPREMENOTORIOUS
    SUPREMENOTORIOUS Posts: 90
    My friend is going through a problem and I would like to provide her with the Best advise.....

    Here's the story...
    My friend is 20 and has a one year old child and is pregnant again with some other guy's baby. So the first baby daddy abandoned her and now that she is pregnant with the second, he's leaving her to.
    She lives in her grandmother's house right now, and her family does not know/ nor do they want to know that she is pregnant. (Her grandmother is out of town). So she is basically doing everything on her own. She just got a job and has not started yet. The only source of income is from food stamps.(She pays no rent or bills) She has been looking around a little for ways to get help financially from the government, but no luck.

    Today she called me and told me that she was considering an abortion. I told her NO! she can put it up for adoption.
    What do you think is the best way to handle this situation???
    If you are for adoption, please help me come up with ways to convince her that this is the next best option....
  • 2Shoes
    2Shoes Posts: 396
    My friend is going through a problem and I would like to provide her with the Best advise.....

    Here's the story...
    My friend is 20 and has a one year old child and is pregnant again with some other guy's baby. So the first baby daddy abandoned her and now that she is pregnant with the second, he's leaving her to.
    She lives in her grandmother's house right now, and her family does not know/ nor do they want to know that she is pregnant. (Her grandmother is out of town). So she is basically doing everything on her own. She just got a job and has not started yet. The only source of income is from food stamps.(She pays no rent or bills) She has been looking around a little for ways to get help financially from the government, but no luck.

    Today she called me and told me that she was considering an abortion. I told her NO! she can put it up for adoption.
    What do you think is the best way to handle this situation???
    If you are for adoption, please help me come up with ways to convince her that this is the next best option....


    This is quite deep for a fitness forum,.......but....... I would think it would be up to your friend to make that decision. I know YOU think that adoption is her best option, but realistically, it is what SHE thinks is best for her.

    Nonetheless, very difficult decision SHE needs to make, and you would be a good friend in supporting her in whatever decision she makes.

    My best advice..........she needs to get on birth control. (sorry to be so blunt)
  • BlazinEmerald
    BlazinEmerald Posts: 842



    This is quite deep for a fitness forum,.......but....... I would think it would be up to your friend to make that decision. I know YOU think that adoption is her best option, but realistically, it is what SHE thinks is best for her.

    Nonetheless, very difficult decision SHE needs to make, and you would be a good friend in supporting her in whatever decision she makes.

    My best advice..........she needs to get on birth control. (sorry to be so blunt)

    Agreed
  • SUPREMENOTORIOUS
    SUPREMENOTORIOUS Posts: 90
    She needs her tubes tied!!! I understand that I should support her in whatever decision she makes, but I first want to tell her that adoption is ok. (although going through with the pregnancy and keeping the child is better) She is a smart girl and I think she could handle it. Besides, she already 3 1/2 months pregnant. I would be there for her if she needed help or a place to stay. But then again, its her problem.... :ohwell:

    So there goes abortion:cry:
  • cwilson715
    cwilson715 Posts: 130
    As someone whos sister has had 2 abortions and a miscarriage, I feel that my sister is stupid for not being careful and not using protection. But at the sametime she is my sister and she made the best decision. I do not agree that this is the way to go! But she will be bring another child into this world that could have a lifetime of trouble and end up just like her. I know that this is a very hard thing to do. If your friend do this she might want to go to plan parenthood and get on birthcontrol. If your friend really wants to change her life she needs to do it (change her life). I am 22 with a 1 year old I have been with my husband since I was 13 and I have been on the pill almost just as long and I have never gotten pregant until I decided to.... Thats called being smart. I hope this helps.
  • cwilson715
    cwilson715 Posts: 130
    To add I think that keeping the child is BEST! This is her fault and she needs to learn from her mistakes. My sister will never forgive herself from killing her children. I know she regrets it now. If she is 3 and a half months old she will be killing a human just make sure she know this.
  • lessertess
    lessertess Posts: 855 Member
    I agree, It's an extemely sensitive topic and not one to get into on this forum. I think you should tell her what you believe but, no matter what, support her in her decision. No matter what she decides it will be difficult for her. There's no easy choice between keeping a child that you can not emotionally or financially support, giving that child up for adoption after carrying it for 9 months or aborting. All of the choices inherently suck! The only good choice is to be pregnant by choice and rejoicing in the advent of a loved child.

    I also think you should see if you can help her in both her choice of men (apparantly she does not use good sense if two different men are going to abandon her and their child) as well as the use of contraceptives. If this is a pattern (twice doesn't make a pattern but it's damn close; especially since she is only 20) then your friend has some serious self-esteem issues and needs to learn to value herself.

    Oh and, NOBODY should ever have and raise a child because they have to learn a lesson or pay for their mistakes.....no child should be subjected to that kind of upbringing......just my opinion.
  • SUPREMENOTORIOUS
    SUPREMENOTORIOUS Posts: 90
    During her first pregnancy everyone was telling her to get an abortion, but she decided to go through. She loves her daughter. She does have some issues in her self esteem as she says she cannot be alone.
    Whatever decision I'll be there to help her. Next time I'll help her find someone good for her. No more scum bags!!! But first contraceptives!!!!
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
    I'm not against abortion at all, but 3 1/2 months is too late to have an abortion. I think there are a few places in north america that will still perform them after that but not many, as the risks of complications are much higher. It's too bad that she is in this position but it's not your job to convince her of anything. Be a friend and support her decisions. If she ASKS you for advice, then feel free to tell her what you think, but don't be pushy about it. And... like I said, abortion is really no longer an option for her.

    I also agree that this is a bit heavy for this forum.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories