Don't hate me because I'm losing weight.....

pudgeylou
pudgeylou Posts: 202 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I couldn't believe what happened to me the other day. I work in an office with about 35-40 women, and about 95% of them are seriously over weight. In July of last year I started on my current path and have lost 60 lbs. One of the girls from the office was talking to me and said, "You know all the girls upstairs are hatin on you because you lost all this weight?" I was stunned, I asked why. She told me that they were jealous that they were still fat and that I had...(she paused here, so I chimed in with) "Worked my butt off?" She said, "Yeah, I guess so."
After that she asked me how I did it and I told her, hard work and dedication.
It was almost like she didn't want to believe that I had worked at it, her and I assume the rest of the ladies wanted to believe that my weight loss was easy and just handed to me.
My own mother looked at me the other day and said, (and this is a direct quote) "You looks so thin, I hate you." I know it was a joke but I am getting similar reactions from a lot of people. It looks like they only felt good about themselves when I was grossly overweight. It is totally crazy.


Has anyone else had a similar experience. I seem to be running into this quite often, and I am not one to brag or flaunt any of my weight loss to anyone. I don't want them to feel bad about not doing it for themselves, but it seems that just seeing me is enough to make them hate.
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Replies

  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Those are backhanded compliments. I know it's hard to believe, but they think they are complimenting you. It will slowly stop when they get used to your new size. It's still surprising to them.
  • woodwardtm
    woodwardtm Posts: 361 Member
    Be proud and don't let them get the best of you! Most people are just looking for the easy fix. You would think they would figure out that if there was an easy fix, most people wouldn't be overweight. Keep working hard and reach your goal.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    Haven't heard anyone hating on me, most are really happy and use it as an inspiration in their own journey to health.
  • thatsillyshana
    thatsillyshana Posts: 141
    My family would say it all the time when I was younger, so I ate until they shut up. Now I'm working hard to make them jealous again. Biotches be trippin.
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    Jealousy is a mothertrucker.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    congratulations on your "hard work and dedication" but also get used to this kind of response. I get it all the time. When I am asked how I did it, I tell them, workout an hour a day, and count calories and I get the the "disappointed" look, because godforbid, they actually have to work for it. Just keep doing what you're doing and pay no mind to the haters.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    I think it's more that they hate themselves for not trying until they succeeded. You're just a physical reminder of the things they dislike about themselves. They like being able to believe that fitness is for other people - not normal people like them. When you went off and showed them that normal people are able to lose weight and be fit, you knocked out at least 1 excuse (probably more) as to why they are where they are.
  • GaiaGirl1992
    GaiaGirl1992 Posts: 459 Member
    Some of them might be jealous, that you're losing weight and it makes them feel more self conscious. Don't give up just because of them =)
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I've definitely had the "you'r so skinny, omg i hate you" comments thrown to me in life (especially before kids, but sometimes even now) and I just laugh.

    I work hard for it. I don't care if they don't see or understand that. I know that.
  • ghostdivatonya
    ghostdivatonya Posts: 58 Member
    You're success is making them feel insecure!

    It is a compliment and blow off the comments. Good for YOU! You are doing this for YOU not to impress the office hens!!

    Proud of you!
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    Thanks to my family being mostly all overweight, I've been getting that crap since I was a teenager. My mom actually seemed HAPPY when I gained 15 pounds, seriously. Well, it's coming back off, so they better get used to it. Mid-twenties is when all the women in my family have put on significant weight, so I'm nipping it in the bud right away and making a difference. :)
  • HardyMichelle
    HardyMichelle Posts: 32 Member
    I work in an office of overweight ladies as well. I don't constantly get teased but one nurse consistently asks me if I'm "satisfied" after my shake lunch. I don't mind her asking, but it's always the same answer. Or I get the people who are 200+ pounds trying to say that they are "on a diet" as well, and try to make it sound like they're better than I am. Good for you for keeping your head high and not caring what they say. If it doesn't encourage them, then let them be miserable.
  • thescrumisfun
    thescrumisfun Posts: 355
    Let them hate. You worked hard, they didn't; it's as simple as that.
  • Beckyloo80
    Beckyloo80 Posts: 1,088 Member
    Yes! I get it a lot! And I've learned to let it roll off because jealously is the highest form of flattery.
    A lot of people think it just came off with me doing nothing, when in fact, I have worked hard for a year and a half. Changed my lifestyle and made being active a way of life.

    I know I've worked hard and accomplished my goal, and you should too! just let it slide... let the haters hate, you are a fantastic new you and you should be very proud.

    my mother is one of the least supportive people I know, and as hard as that is, i've had to let that roll off my back too. only you can make your own happiness!
  • tabitha2770
    tabitha2770 Posts: 60 Member
    I had the same thing happen to me a few years back. I had lost like 20 lbs in two months by watching my food and working out. The women in the office accused me of taking diet meds and B-12 shots. I don't take meds period and I wouldn't start by doing that. I realized they were just unhappy with themself and had to find a reason to make them feel better. I would ignore them and be proud.
  • sylviatx
    sylviatx Posts: 156 Member
    Pay them no mind.

    This is YOUR journey. You're doing it for yourself, for your healthier future and for your self-esteem and confidence. They are only looking in from the outside, and don't understand the dedication this has taken. The mental and emotional changes you have had to make. It's scary to them., that's why they remain cushioned inand protected by fat.

    You go, girl. You're an inspiration to us here!
  • NotAResolution
    NotAResolution Posts: 58 Member
    I don't get that because I haven't lost enough weight, but it doesn't surprise me. People hate other people because of weight loss, successful careers, or any number of things. It's up to you to lose the weight and if you don't want to try, even try, don't get pissy with me.
  • PhotogNerd
    PhotogNerd Posts: 420 Member
    Make them "hate" you even more, dress sexier. Ha...only kind of joking. Seriously, dress sexier at work , then they'll come closer to having a legit reason to hate.

    Women can be total *****es! Haters gonna hate....
  • never124get
    never124get Posts: 163
    Yes! It's insane how jealous women get...I work with almost all women too and we are in an office setting. One of them last year lost over 100 lbs and is maintaining her weight wonderfully. I looked to her for advice and "inspiration" if you will and she told me beware of the women in the office, they try to get you to crack! They want to see you fail...well this has given me more motivation than ever lol. I've lost but not as much as you (congrats on your loss btw!! :smile: ) But when I am bringing healthy food to work everyday and eating right they try to force cookies and sweets in my face. They leave them next to my desk as added "temptation" I guess. Not going to break me.

    I work weekends (my schedule is weird I work one week straight through then I'm off a week). On Friday they left a half eaten cake next to my desk (which is close to the little break room area) so Saturday and Sunday it sat there untouched because I wasn't going to eat it and by Monday they were angry at me because I "let it go to waste." I was absolutely astounded. I told them they know I'm eating better and making a lifestyle change for myself so they shouldn't be offended that I don't eat the sweets. If they didn't want it to go to waste one of the other ladies should have taken it home. Sometimes some women get joy in seeing others fail, it's sad but true....it's the one thing that really reminds me of high school. I was done and over that years ago I don't like reliving it at work....:grumble:
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Yep, completely alienated at my work.
  • bethiepoo30
    bethiepoo30 Posts: 16
    With a few people, I noticed that while I was still bigger than them, I received lots of compliments about how much weight I had lost. After I had gotten smaller than them (and in better shape), the compliments stopped. I think it is apparent to them now that hard work and dedication to diet and exercise are the key. Those same folks also criticize my low carb approach when I'm out of earshot. Hey, to each their own, I've never tried to push it on anyone else but it has worked for me.

    I've found that the people who truly care about you will be the most gracious in their response.
  • JeremyMo88
    JeremyMo88 Posts: 18 Member
    After that she asked me how I did it and I told her, hard work and dedication.
    It was almost like she didn't want to believe that I had worked at it, her and I assume the rest of the ladies wanted to believe that my weight loss was easy and just handed to me.

    I have had a lot of instances like that. Everyone is impressed and hating on me for my weight loss. When I tell them it takes time and discipline they immediately lose interest.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    Some of my closest friends lost their minds when I started to lose large amounts of weight, including one of my best friends who got drunk one night and begged me to stop before I got skinnier than she is. (Happy to say I'm now a size smaller than her!) I've found that it does settle down as people get used to your new weight, it just takes a long time. Almost no one comments on my weight loss anymore.
  • Cupcakehippiemommy
    Cupcakehippiemommy Posts: 457 Member
    Yes!! Especially from those you don't expect it from! I actually got a couple of people to get on this site and try it out so far they are meeting their goals :D Let them hate doll and keep kickin' *kitten*!!
  • KevinsCatie
    KevinsCatie Posts: 137 Member
    When someone says something like that, what they are really saying is that they envy you, and hate themselves. I know, because I have said the exact same thing to a friend of mine who was always bigger than me. When she found out she shouldnt eat gluten, she lost a ton! Unfortunately I was gaining weight at that same time, and I really was just jealous of her and disgusted with myself. Really, thats all it boils down to is jealousy.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
    this is why i surround myself with men. but, i use to get comments like this but i actually loved it. it means i am doing something right. yes.. biatches........ i am thin!! look at me! look at me!

    enjoy your accomplishments!
  • KimberlyDCZ
    KimberlyDCZ Posts: 525 Member
    Don't take it personally when someone says "I hate you, you're so skinny" My best friend has always been thin and she takes these comments to heart. They don't mean any harm, however they ARE jeaoous. I have had comments like this from my mother who was right beside me for the first few months then she gave up. I've lost 60 lbs and she's back up to her start weight. It can be hurtful but just keep doing what you're doing for YOU. Lead by example. Maybe eventually they will see what you're doing is the only way to lose weight and keep it off; and follow in your footsteps. If not, it's no one's fault but their own.
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
    I actually love it when girls start hating on me when I lose weight >:)
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    you don't have to brag, 60 hopping lbs will show!!
    women are cats and take that jealousy as compliment and go for the GOAL!!!:drinker: to your success!!
  • Zoe85
    Zoe85 Posts: 19 Member
    I couldn't believe what happened to me the other day. I work in an office with about 35-40 women, and about 95% of them are seriously over weight. In July of last year I started on my current path and have lost 60 lbs. One of the girls from the office was talking to me and said, "You know all the girls upstairs are hatin on you because you lost all this weight?" I was stunned, I asked why. She told me that they were jealous that they were still fat and that I had...(she paused here, so I chimed in with) "Worked my butt off?" She said, "Yeah, I guess so."
    After that she asked me how I did it and I told her, hard work and dedication.
    It was almost like she didn't want to believe that I had worked at it, her and I assume the rest of the ladies wanted to believe that my weight loss was easy and just handed to me.
    My own mother looked at me the other day and said, (and this is a direct quote) "You looks so thin, I hate you." I know it was a joke but I am getting similar reactions from a lot of people. It looks like they only felt good about themselves when I was grossly overweight. It is totally crazy.


    Has anyone else had a similar experience. I seem to be running into this quite often, and I am not one to brag or flaunt any of my weight loss to anyone. I don't want them to feel bad about not doing it for themselves, but it seems that just seeing me is enough to make them hate.

    Hi, I also work in an office of seriously overweight people and most of them always say 'you don't need to lose anymore weight' bla bla bla. I also get slimmer people saying the same thing!

    You've worked hard and be proud of yourself and ignore the jealous ones! :)

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