new happenings and mixed feelings

Ileanak · June 2010

Good morning to my MFP group. I haven't posted in quite a while. Lots has happened since my husband returned from deployment. One thing we never expected... I am pregnant. Considering that I was told that it would be impossible to get gregnant without surgery and possible IVF, I am more than shocked. I had never considered a child in my future, and as a OCD planning freak, this is a shock. My husband is extremely happy. I am really numb to it. And that carries with it a heavy case of guilt. Shouldn't I be overjoyed?

Part of the fear is that I have worked for 7 years to lose 120 lbs with this last couple of years struggling to get the last 30 off. Now I have nightmares about gaining all the weight back. I know, I know... silly. And i have still done the 5k's and a sprint tri since i found out that I was pregnant, so there is no reason that I won't be able to drop weight, but this is still stuck on a nasty loop in my head.

Then there is the bad parent fear. I have no practice!... seriously! I am the only child ... in my entire extended family!. Babies are foreign to me. A month ago I was in the delivery room with a girlfriend, to include being with her for the eventual c-section, and the first person to hold him to her... but I was terrified!

And no sleep?!?! Are you kidding?

Ok... MPF ers...... tell me I'm crazy~

Kmill217 · June 2010

haha..it always happens...

us returning home from deployment and getting our wives pregnant...

<---- guilty as charged....probably just very relaxing and sureal, which allows hormones to do there thing in our bodies.

as far as pregnancy goes...my wife has lost weight....all be it -- once you hear the fetal heart tones, it will stop you in your tracks....when the baby comes, you'll be a changed women..

CONGRATS

YOUR CRAZY!!!

glad your husband made it home...

hoahh

shanerylee · June 2010

I dont think you are crazy, its a very honest statement. Becoming a parent is scary, and with all the weight loss and hard work you have put into it, no wonder you are in a tailspin. I can tell you this. Good for you for getting pregnant in the first place, in my mind with all your obstacles, it was meant to be. Secondly, you have lost all that weight and now at a healthy stage to carry a child, good for you, less on you now, less to take off later. If you stick to your mfp tracking, eat healthly, excercise, etc you will be fine. Thirdly, you will suprise yourself when you become a parent. I had the same fears and once the first one was born, everything kicked in, kind of like a primal thing. Good luck to you, it will be okay.

sabrinafaith · June 2010

Firstly, You are getting ahead of yourself.

Secondly, you can gain about 30 lb while pregnant and after the baby is born break even. So don't worry about normal healthy weight gain. Just avoid the ice cream, that was my downfall.

Thirdly, I think you need to get over the shock and consider this a miracle. You never thought it would happen, and now it has. This may be your only shot at having a baby, so I would cherish it. And when that baby is born g-d willing, you will understand what I mean.

Lastly, babies sleep. You just can't be a stupid parent. Its ok if the baby lies awake in the crib, do not rock the baby EVER, and unless there is something wrong, like cholic or reflux, the baby will usually sleep at least 14 hours a day for the first 2 years. Its mostly teething that keeps you up. My son was asleep the entire first month of his life. Just one word of advice for middle of the night feedings- change diaper, then feed. The bottle or nursing puts the baby back to sleep, so you can go back to sleep.

cobygrey · June 2010

You are SO NOT CRAZY!

I have 3 children now 20,20 (twins) and 10. Both pregnancies I had the same fears! Will I lose the weight ? Will I be a good parent.

Well, here it is plain and simple. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE know how to be the perfect parent. You just do what you feel is best for them and somehow it ends up BEING what is best.

Weight gain. I was actually smaller AFTER both pregnancies than I was before.

YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT!! I KNOW IT BECAUSE YOU CARE ENOUGH TO SHARE YOUR FEAR IN THIS FORUM.

CONGRATS MOM TO BE

Mirlyn · June 2010

First off, don't be worried about being numb to it. I had mixed emotions about becoming pregnant and I'd also been told I couldn't get pregnant without fertility treatment so it's always a big shock to get the surprise BFP. The numbness will pass, the fears of being a bad parent I'm afraid come with the territory but you'll be great.

Second off, as long as you watch what you eat and eat healthy options you will probably be fine in the weight department. You can still exercise while pregnant just alot of people (me included) use(d) their pregnancies as a crutch/justification for being unhealthy. As long as your mind is set to not be that way you'll do fine! I dropped most of my pregnancy weight in the first 8 weeks after my son was born but sadly gained it all back by eating junk and never leaving the house so I can't blame pregnancy for my huge gain lol.

It's not so bad! You'll find it to be the best thing that has ever happened to you once you do have your child. The unconditional love and trust just cannot be matched. Good luck to ya!

jenlhugg · June 2010

First with the weight gain issue. If you are smart about it, it will not be a problem. With my second child, I exercised regularly (I think the people at the gym were frightened I would have him there) and gained little weight, and it came off very easily. I just have to be mindful of what you are eating and keep moving, otherwise the fatigue sets in. Second, everything will change about your midset. I am not a "baby person" either and always felt nervous holding others children. but I have three, and although it may seem foreign now, it won't when the baby come. Your child grows and develops inside you, you are one person. They rely on you for nourishment and protection and your body knows exactly how to do it, and once they are born you may not know exactly what to do at first but you will figure it out. congrats and good luck

Thinwithin2010 · June 2010

Congrat's on the pregnancy! Mom to be, it is scary with the first but the minute you hold that baby in your arms all maternal feeling's come flooding in and you will know what to do... You will be a great mom.. Just eat right and don't worry about the extra weight. As long as you don't go off track you will be fine. Just find out from the dr how many extra calories you will need. Remember the baby takes calories too.. I think the only time I lost weight was when I was pregnant.. My last 2 babies i gained 12 lbs with one and 8 lbs with the last. After delivery I was under where I started.. It wasn't even like i was sick?? Just my body. After the baby is here think of all the great walks you can go on. By staying in shape you will have a mucheasier delivery. So keep up all the good work mommie!! Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy.

Please tell your husband THANKYOU! from my family for all he does for this great country!!!

and thankyou for being a supporting wife. I know it's not easy and I will keep you in my prayers.

questionablemethods · June 2010

I can't speak from personal experience in parenting here, but I can say that I would be freaked out too! So, I applaud you for being so honest with your feelings.

On the occasion that I have had a pregnancy "scare" I have thought "women a whole lot dumber and less resourceful than myself have been having babies for centuries and doing just fine, if you are pregnant, it will be okay". So, remember, you don't have to be a genius superwoman to raise a healthy child, despite what a lot of the marketing out there will tell you! You will make a wonderful parent.

About the weight thing, if you continue to pay attention to what you eat, you should be able to gain a reasonable amount of baby weight. I think for someone of a healthy weight, the ideal gain is about 30 lbs. If you look at the numbers, I think that is only about an additional 200-300 calories above your maintenance level. You're eating for two, but not two grown adults! Just continue to monitor your intake and weight gain and you should be fine. I have plenty of friends who gained only about 30 lbs and remained pretty active the whole time and were able to take it off fairly easily afterward.

CONGRATS!

megamom · June 2010

I only gain 24 pounds when pregnant and lost 35 so don't despair. And when you hold your new baby, its the best feeling in the world. You already know how to eat healthy, that is half the battle.

cesse47 · June 2010

Ileanak, I'm happy to hear your husband returned safely from his deployment. Congrats on the pregnancy!! Sounds like quite a miracle to me. Mixed emotions are very common, especially since you didn't think you could get pregnant ... plus, there are major hormonal swings going on that can add to the confusion. It's very normal.

Check with your doctor about your concerns on weight gain. I'm sure you'll be reassured that most of what you gain can be quickly lost after the birth. Make sure you are taking prenatal vitamins. Your doctor can look at your current food plan and explain what you need to increase. Your increased dietary needs are small changes ... not large ... so you should be able to keep your weight gain to the smaller limits.

Physical activity is strongly encouraged during pregnancy. Deliverying a baby is hard work!! The better muscles you have the better you're able to carry and deliver. Again, talk with your doctor. There are a few exercises that they can recommend to help improve the pregnancy process ... and probably a few that they won't want you to do.

Best wishes to your and your husband during this wonderful time. :flowerforyou:

new happenings and mixed feelings

Replies

Categories