Disappointed when I heard this.......
mona_patty
Posts: 170
a little disappointed. I started @ 198 lbs, now I weigh 161 lbs, I am 5'3". I have a lot more to lose. A lot of people only get to see what we look like in clothes but they don't see us when it's taken off. I still don't have the body I want, I am still overweight.
Well I hear my sis say to me "maybe you should stop losing weight and be happy with your weight now and buy yourself clothes that fit" it saddens me.... I am right now at a moment where my clothes are fitting big. I can't keep up buying clothes every time I lose lbs or inches, etc
Just bummed. I hate to think she sabotages me. I know in part of my weight loss is cause I eat by myself. I tend to eat more with my sister....
Thanks for reading. I needed to vent......
Well I hear my sis say to me "maybe you should stop losing weight and be happy with your weight now and buy yourself clothes that fit" it saddens me.... I am right now at a moment where my clothes are fitting big. I can't keep up buying clothes every time I lose lbs or inches, etc
Just bummed. I hate to think she sabotages me. I know in part of my weight loss is cause I eat by myself. I tend to eat more with my sister....
Thanks for reading. I needed to vent......
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Replies
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:ohwell:0
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YOU are in charge of YOU and how YOU feel. No one else. Don't give her permission to make you feel bad about the awesome progress you've made and continue to make!
Do you have second-hand clothing stores where you live? Like Goodwill or something? You can get super-cheap, nice clothes that will fit you better to get you through the "in-between" weight until you reach your goal (at which point you will reward yourself with NEW clothes, right?!). :happy:
Seriously, that's what I did. Got a size smaller pair of jeans for $4 -- several times! Bam! You could spend less than $20 and get a few new outfits, if you can find what you like. Our local Goodwill has great sales on the weekends, so stuff is even cheaper!
In the meantime, keep rockin' the weight loss and be the healthiest version of yourself you can be! :flowerforyou:0 -
Sometimes I think our weight loss is a little threatening to others in our lives. When they see our success they don't feel like they measure up. Don't let anyone sabotage you. You can make it to your goal.0
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Don't worry about sabotage, looks like your doing it right, keep it up. Be where you want to be, not where someone else thinks you should be.0
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Don't let what she says affect anything you're doing. What you're doing is for nobody but you. You should be proud of what you have accomplished so far, & what you've already done should tell you that you can keep going to your ultimate goal. No need to keep buying clothes after every few pounds or inches, revel with pride in the fact that the clothes that once fit are now loose. As fr guaging clothing expenditures - set goals where you have stuff picked out to treat yourself too when you reach a particular milestone. Most of all, the best revenge you can get on her for her sabotage is to keep losing & smiling the whole time you do until you're happy with where you are......0
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Don't stop!! Keep it up and do it for you. Think of how proud of yourself you willbe once you hit that target weight. I live with roommates and they say stupid things like that all the time to me. I don't know if it is because it makes them feel better or what, but I keep my head up and stay strong. Just wear your clothes a little big for now...its better than super tight. You can do it. I know you can. You made it this far!!0
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You have made incredible progess and should celebrate the milestones. Getting new clothes, even just one item now and then, can be part of that. Pardon my bluntness....Your sister does not sabotage you -- you let her sabotage you. You've made too much progess to let someone's comments derail you. I used to let my mother derail me, and I had to kindly but firmly assert myself and to avoid the situations that were a problem for me until I could be stronger. Don't let anyone else rule your life.0
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YOU are in charge of YOU and how YOU feel. No one else. Don't give her permission to make you feel bad about the awesome progress you've made and continue to make!
Do you have second-hand clothing stores where you live? Like Goodwill or something? You can get super-cheap, nice clothes that will fit you better to get you through the "in-between" weight until you reach your goal (at which point you will reward yourself with NEW clothes, right?!). :happy:
Seriously, that's what I did. Got a size smaller pair of jeans for $4 -- several times! Bam! You could spend less than $20 and get a few new outfits, if you can find what you like. Our local Goodwill has great sales on the weekends, so stuff is even cheaper!
In the meantime, keep rockin' the weight loss and be the healthiest version of yourself you can be! :flowerforyou:
I've been doing that! going to Good will..... Yes I am in charge of me... I guess it would be nice for the ppl that you care for the most can be supportive and tell me, KEEP GOING0 -
Well is she overweight too? If so maybe you should say to her that you would be happy if she wanted to joyn you in your weight loss and make this life style change together. :drinker:
And when it comes to clothes, buy them at the driftstore. I buy pants there and treat my self to new tops.
Hope she will change attitued and I don't think that she wants to sabotage you at all. Maybe she is seeing a change in you and wants it too...0 -
its ok, people tend to be judgemental, while i was loosing weight i had the same comment made, and also a family member looked at me one day and yelled "just eat something" i was 160 pounds, and was trying really hard to follow a healthy diet, i was embarrassed and saddened. now i am trying to maintain, which is really hard, but i get less comments now that people realize i am seriously trying to stay at a healthy weight, try to ignore the comments and stay on track0
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Sometimes I think our weight loss is a little threatening to others in our lives. When they see our success they don't feel like they measure up. Don't let anyone sabotage you. You can make it to your goal.
^^This. Not knowing her physical situation I can't say for sure, but it seems like she might be jealous that you're being proactive & she's not.......0 -
Sometimes I think our weight loss is a little threatening to others in our lives. When they see our success they don't feel like they measure up. Don't let anyone sabotage you. You can make it to your goal.
^^^This! Its amazing how many people think you should "take it easy" and "not work so hard" because they find themselves envious of your accomplishments. Keep working at it and you will accomplish your goals
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My way of thinking.....I may not ever LOVE my body. But I tell you what....I'd rather have a little flab here and there than be 65lbs heavier! My goals are not a certain # or size...it's to be Healthy, Fit and Strong. Keep up the good work! You are doing great!0
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Sometimes I think our weight loss is a little threatening to others in our lives. When they see our success they don't feel like they measure up. Don't let anyone sabotage you. You can make it to your goal.
Yes it is I guess. During Christmas, I told my brother, I don't drink sodas anymore and he gives me one.... and of course I drank it.... I can't help it..... I got to be strong!!!! Thanks0 -
You KNOW you can loose weight. You have done it. You can finish it. You can buy less expensive clothing until you feel you want to and can afford to buy yourself something great.
Even though I still have weight to loose I do get myself a nice outfit once in a while so that I can show off my new body and feel great.0 -
Why would you care what other people say? You know what you're doing, judging by your progress. You're doing it right; you're doing it for yourself and for your health. Just keep it up and ignore terrible advice from clueless people. The only person who sabotages you is yourself - you can't blame the words or actions of others.0
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Don't let what she says affect anything you're doing. What you're doing is for nobody but you. You should be proud of what you have accomplished so far, & what you've already done should tell you that you can keep going to your ultimate goal. No need to keep buying clothes after every few pounds or inches, revel with pride in the fact that the clothes that once fit are now loose. As fr guaging clothing expenditures - set goals where you have stuff picked out to treat yourself too when you reach a particular milestone. Most of all, the best revenge you can get on her for her sabotage is to keep losing & smiling the whole time you do until you're happy with where you are......
LOL not into revenge though haha but u made me laugh..... I haven't bought clothes for 2 months. I am actually in need of clothes. PLUS I HATE SHOPPING i haven't made time to go. my clothes fit too big,0 -
Sometimes I think our weight loss is a little threatening to others in our lives. When they see our success they don't feel like they measure up. Don't let anyone sabotage you. You can make it to your goal.
^^^This! Its amazing how many people think you should "take it easy" and "not work so hard" because they find themselves envious of your accomplishments. Keep working at it and you will accomplish your goals
I'd also have to agree with this 100%. I have witnessed it in my journey as well, but not to terribly bad.
Moreso, I had alot of people tell me I am to thin and I should stop losing weight. What those people see is the difference from then to now, but they don't look at it from a healthy BMI perspective, a healthy self image for you, this that or the other thing.
You need to know what is best for you, stick to that goal, and get it done. In the end, you are your #1. Keep your chin up.0 -
Don't stop!! Keep it up and do it for you. Think of how proud of yourself you willbe once you hit that target weight. I live with roommates and they say stupid things like that all the time to me. I don't know if it is because it makes them feel better or what, but I keep my head up and stay strong. Just wear your clothes a little big for now...its better than super tight. You can do it. I know you can. You made it this far!!
Thanks so much! I have to wear a size 10 but it's hard to find size 9 so kind of stuck
all i find is size 8,,, not near that size...... 0 -
You have made incredible progess and should celebrate the milestones. Getting new clothes, even just one item now and then, can be part of that. Pardon my bluntness....Your sister does not sabotage you -- you let her sabotage you. You've made too much progess to let someone's comments derail you. I used to let my mother derail me, and I had to kindly but firmly assert myself and to avoid the situations that were a problem for me until I could be stronger. Don't let anyone else rule your life.
SO TRUE i sabotage myself by giving in and eating bad with her. We always ate out before together and eat. That was our thing. so I feel like this keeps us close like before and I can't control myself when I eat out with her. I feel comfortable. It is my fault. I have to be strong.... Thanks0 -
a little disappointed. I started @ 198 lbs, now I weigh 161 lbs, I am 5'3". I have a lot more to lose. A lot of people only get to see what we look like in clothes but they don't see us when it's taken off. I still don't have the body I want, I am still overweight.
Well I hear my sis say to me "maybe you should stop losing weight and be happy with your weight now and buy yourself clothes that fit" it saddens me.... I am right now at a moment where my clothes are fitting big. I can't keep up buying clothes every time I lose lbs or inches, etc
Just bummed. I hate to think she sabotages me. I know in part of my weight loss is cause I eat by myself. I tend to eat more with my sister....
Thanks for reading. I needed to vent......
appreciate your vent but your sister may just be more superficial than evil or maligning. it could simply be she is one of those people who mistakenly feels the people around her reflect on her. i read your post as more like she is emphasizing/concerned with your clothes not fitting maybe looking baggy or in her eyes sloppy. i'm really into fashion and kind of heading toward the same place you are now and having your attitude about how and when to buy clothes. however there is this other part of me that feels the way your sister does and it will be a challenge to resist the urge to buy clothes along the way to be more "presentable" and favor the practical. maybe tell her you'd like her help shopping and go to clearance rack and if it's that important to her maybe she will pitch in, if not you get one or two things on clearance not a big deal. i think there is an underlying tone of concern and acceptance in your sisters advice just using the wrong words maybe. i hope this helps you see it from her side and take your own options into account and find a happy medium. great success by the way that's a big weight loss and no wonder your clothes are starting to fit strangely. PM me if you'd like ideas of what kinds of clothes to target to take you from your current weight to goal that can transition thru your weight loss. or friend me.0 -
Keep going! Do what you need to do to be the healthy, happy person you want to be.
I have noticed that my self-esteem is affected by continuing to wear pants that are now way too big for me. Looking sloppy makes me feel sloppy. Once I hit up the clearance rack at my local Target/Penney's and got some pants that fit, I felt SO much better. Yes, I do hope to shrink out of them in a couple of months, but it's definitely worth it to have clothes that fit my body as it is now. Shirts are not such a big deal... some are meant to be loose-fitting anyway, and some you can tailor with a belt.
Definitely invest a tiny bit in a couple of outfits that make you feel awesome, and maybe that will give you a boost of confidence to keep you motivated and positive. 0 -
Well is she overweight too? If so maybe you should say to her that you would be happy if she wanted to joyn you in your weight loss and make this life style change together. :drinker:
And when it comes to clothes, buy them at the driftstore. I buy pants there and treat my self to new tops.
Hope she will change attitued and I don't think that she wants to sabotage you at all. Maybe she is seeing a change in you and wants it too...
She is. but right now she is 4 mo. pregnant. Well I would say "ur getting me fat" when i would eat at her place and her response was "good" thats why i say she is sabotaging me. I am a foodie deep inside. LOL But i control my life. I need to start to say no I wont eat this or that. etc.0 -
You have an answer to her question!!! because you havn't met your goal and you're still on a mission! In the meantime, be proud of where you are on your path! You got it girlllll! Sisters always talk a lil smack :happy:0
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Why would you care what other people say? You know what you're doing, judging by your progress. You're doing it right; you're doing it for yourself and for your health. Just keep it up and ignore terrible advice from clueless people. The only person who sabotages you is yourself - you can't blame the words or actions of others.
this is all new to me, hearing. ppl saying comments. I just don't know how to react. and I have had positive feedback but also jokes about how I don't eat. etc. I can't help it but it hurts. I am too sensitive. I need to harden up LMAO you all made me feel good. Thanks!!!0 -
a little disappointed. I started @ 198 lbs, now I weigh 161 lbs, I am 5'3". I have a lot more to lose. A lot of people only get to see what we look like in clothes but they don't see us when it's taken off. I still don't have the body I want, I am still overweight.
Well I hear my sis say to me "maybe you should stop losing weight and be happy with your weight now and buy yourself clothes that fit" it saddens me.... I am right now at a moment where my clothes are fitting big. I can't keep up buying clothes every time I lose lbs or inches, etc
Just bummed. I hate to think she sabotages me. I know in part of my weight loss is cause I eat by myself. I tend to eat more with my sister....
Thanks for reading. I needed to vent......
appreciate your vent but your sister may just be more superficial than evil or maligning. it could simply be she is one of those people who mistakenly feels the people around her reflect on her. i read your post as more like she is emphasizing/concerned with your clothes not fitting maybe looking baggy or in her eyes sloppy. i'm really into fashion and kind of heading toward the same place you are now and having your attitude about how and when to buy clothes. however there is this other part of me that feels the way your sister does and it will be a challenge to resist the urge to buy clothes along the way to be more "presentable" and favor the practical. maybe tell her you'd like her help shopping and go to clearance rack and if it's that important to her maybe she will pitch in, if not you get one or two things on clearance not a big deal. i think there is an underlying tone of concern and acceptance in your sisters advice just using the wrong words maybe. i hope this helps you see it from her side and take your own options into account and find a happy medium. great success by the way that's a big weight loss and no wonder your clothes are starting to fit strangely. PM me if you'd like ideas of what kinds of clothes to target to take you from your current weight to goal that can transition thru your weight loss. or friend me.
This is not the 1st time she says stuff..... this is the 1st time that I weigh less than her. I will try to just be positive.0 -
Saying No to food you want to eat is extremely difficult. But as others have said, you live life for you., no one else. It might be worth having a conversation about how you feel and how she is making you feel. She might not really know. And if she does, then at least you know where you stand. Siblings can be very difficult sometimes. Just my humble opinion, but I think you are doing great, remember that. We all see, and we are proud of you!0
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Well is she overweight too? If so maybe you should say to her that you would be happy if she wanted to joyn you in your weight loss and make this life style change together. :drinker:
And when it comes to clothes, buy them at the driftstore. I buy pants there and treat my self to new tops.
Hope she will change attitued and I don't think that she wants to sabotage you at all. Maybe she is seeing a change in you and wants it too...
She is. but right now she is 4 mo. pregnant. Well I would say "ur getting me fat" when i would eat at her place and her response was "good" thats why i say she is sabotaging me. I am a foodie deep inside. LOL But i control my life. I need to start to say no I wont eat this or that. etc.
Don't know for sure since I don't know your sister but from a couple of things you've said, like eating is y'all's thing you do together and her answering "good" when you tell her that she's getting you fat, could it be that your sister is one of those people who feel that food is happiness, food is love, food is celebration and comfort and joy? If you want to show love to someone, feed them? If you want to make someone happy, feed them? Its not a healthy attitude towards food, but maybe she sees your weight lose as you depriving yourself of these things and because she loves you, she doesn't want to see you deprived. Just a thought...
I think you need to have a heart to heart chat with her. Lay out for her how her comments make you feel and ask her what she's feeling when she makes them, what her motivation behind it is. And while you're at it, keep up the great work. You've done so well!0 -
You are doing great!! I understand how hard it is when people we care about are not supportive...I also come from a family that eats for fun
It's hard. The best thing you could do is get her excited with you so you can go eat healthy together!! Or maybe even exercise together. Since she is pregnant, she may be more open to eating healthy for the baby!
I love what you said about being a 'foodie' but in control of your life :drinker: That is perfect.
I also am very sensitive and critical comments get under my skin more than I should let them. These people who say we need to be strong for ourselves are so right. You are really doing a fantastic job of getting yourself healthy and she should be trying to be like you, not criticizing:noway:
Keep doing what you are doing and get where you want to go
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Keep going - you WILL get the body you want. As for the clothes, ask her if she'll help you go find a new pair of pants when you lose 10 more pounds. Maybe that will help her see you're serious about losing more weight. If nothing else, maybe it will get her off your back for those 10 pounds And in the meantime, don't forget about thrift shops, they're great while you're loosing,
Good Luck - Keep Going!!0
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