How did I miss the healing process??
Manda86
Posts: 1,859 Member
I realized something as I was replying to the mmmm... lobster post...
I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..
Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--
I forgot to take my pain pills.
for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.
I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
*giggle*
Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.
But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-
I can honestly say that I believe...
*takes a deep breath*
I'm going to have a baby someday.
Manda
I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..
Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--
I forgot to take my pain pills.
for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.
I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
*giggle*
Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.
But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-
I can honestly say that I believe...
*takes a deep breath*
I'm going to have a baby someday.
Manda 0
Replies
-
I realized something as I was replying to the mmmm... lobster post...
I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..
Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--
I forgot to take my pain pills.
for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.
I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
*giggle*
Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.
But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-
I can honestly say that I believe...
*takes a deep breath*
I'm going to have a baby someday. Manda 0 -
:happy:
You are such an amazing person Bear. I am so lucky...0 -
Sorry if I was a mood kill to anyone, I know it's kind of a heavy topic, I'm actually a little embarrassed in retrospect that I went on and on about it... hee hee... I was just feeling so good that I wanted to share it with my MFP fam...
*hugs* Manda 0 -
Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
They are happy tears but still...stop it!
You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.
Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:0 -
Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
They are happy tears but still...stop it!
You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.
Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:
hee hee.... thanks, I've got lots of wonderful friends to look up to and get advice from... can I call you when my child poops on something they're not supposed to for the first time?
:laugh:0 -
I'll get her whatever she wants.
0 -
I'll get her whatever she wants.
even ROSA'S?!?!0 -
Aww Manda
I truly believe that one day when you're ready and God is ready you'll make an amazing mommy 0 -
Never give up hope....I have many problems due to severe endometriosis but with the assistance of modern medicine my twins are now 9 years old. I contemplated naming them clomid and pergonal but decided against it.:laugh: Where there is love there is a way 0
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I contemplated naming them clomid and pergonal
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Your girls are beautiful!
My dad was a twin... they say it skips a generation.. dare I HOPE??? Lol... Two at once *whew* you're a strong lady!0 -
:noway:
Uh Oh.....
Castor and Pollux....I likes it.....:laugh: 0 -
Tami has experience with that:laugh: :sick:Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
They are happy tears but still...stop it!
You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.
Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:
hee hee.... thanks, I've got lots of wonderful friends to look up to and get advice from... can I call you when my child poops on something they're not supposed to for the first time?
:laugh:
But, you can call me about anything else 0 -
Twins are definitely an adventure. Best to start off with twins, if I'd had a single first I would have been terrified. If you do end up with twins I'll be here for moral support.
0 -
I totally understand! I was told my chances were slim. But since I've been getting healthy I've had regular periods every month since December without any help from medicine!!! I totally believe I'll have kids one day and so will you
0 -
You will!
0 -
Don't ever let the doctors or anyone tell you that you won't be able to have kids.
It will happen for you! 0 -
Hey you!
I know it will happen for you because you will be a great mommy!!!
HUGS!!!
Tam0 -
Tami has experience with that:laugh: :sick:Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
They are happy tears but still...stop it!
You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.
Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:
hee hee.... thanks, I've got lots of wonderful friends to look up to and get advice from... can I call you when my child poops on something they're not supposed to for the first time?
:laugh:
But, you can call me about anything else
Yes, watch out when they are about 17 months old....they might try to poop on your mini stair-stepper (with tread!!) :sick: :sick:
Good times!!! 0 -
I realized something as I was replying to the mmmm... lobster post...
I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..
Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--
I forgot to take my pain pills.
for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.
I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
*giggle*
Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.
But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-
I can honestly say that I believe...
*takes a deep breath*
I'm going to have a baby someday. Manda
I really hope ur dream comes true :flowerforyou:0 -
<
crying at work
Love you guys!!
and i just wanted to say.. that the Lord works in mysterious ways!! trust in Him and He will provide!
On a side note, there are tons of babies all over the world who can't get the care they deserve, and when i think about the fact that i may or may not be able to get pregnant (because i haven't yet tried so you can never be sure...) I am sure that even if that WERE the case, I would still be a great mommy to a less fortunate baby who would otherwise be shunned or ignored, or worse.
So no worries Panda! Even if you try yourself, and it doesnt seem to happen, there are still ways to be a mommy!
i hate not having the internet at home..i feel so behind on the posts!0 -
I'm so glad I'm not the only one.:embarassed:<
crying at work0 -
Well Manda, as I explained to U in my wife and I story, no DR has the final say. God has the final say.
I will continue praying and believing with U.
I sure hope your kids look like U and not J. :noway: :noway:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Thank you, my friend, I know prayers like yours are the reason why I believe.Well Manda, as I explained to U in my wife and I story, no DR has the final say. God has the final say.
I will continue praying and believing with U.
I sure hope your kids look like U and not J. :noway: :noway:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Even if my baby comes out lookin' like this- I'll still be a happy, proud mommy.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
:laugh: :laugh:
That really is a face only a mama could love.
With that great attitude and some prayer, it is most definitely possible.
I will be praying for you Manda.0 -
God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. Keep the faith Manda. I'm so excited for you and Jeremy. I wish only the best for you two. I hope when the times comes that God blesses you two with as many children as you want. (Not all at once of course.) :laugh: Good luck to you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
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Aww manda, I will say a little prayer for you and your baby making parts! They can do amazing things medically these days, so I would never give up hope! 0
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I know this is somewhat premature, but Manda and I talked about this as I think she was worried that I would reject her for it.
All I can say is, never, ever, ever in a million years would I pass up the most amazing beautiful woman I have ever been blessed to know because of a medical condition that she neither wants nor planned for.
Yes, I want to be a father. More than anything. But like Emily said, there are many many unfortunate children out there that need the worlds greatest Dad (that will be me), and I have no problems being that person for them. It's like I told her, anyone can be a 'Father', but not everyone can be a 'Dad'...whether my children are the 'flesh of my flesh' or not is irrelevant. I know in my heart that Manda and I (should we walk this path, and to be honest it looks more and more likely that we will) will be the greatest tattooed, slightly dorky, amazingly hilarious parents in the world. I would be honored for her to carry my children, but it not, it's no big thing...she's my best friend, and I'll stand by her forever.
Not to say we might not have already discussed names....:bigsmile: 0 -
I know this is somewhat premature, but Manda and I talked about this as I think she was worried that I would reject her for it.
All I can say is, never, ever, ever in a million years would I pass up the most amazing beautiful woman I have ever been blessed to know because of a medical condition that she neither wants nor planned for.
Yes, I want to be a father. More than anything. But like Emily said, there are many many unfortunate children out there that need the worlds greatest Dad (that will be me), and I have no problems being that person for them. It's like I told her, anyone can be a 'Father', but not everyone can be a 'Dad'...whether my children are the 'flesh of my flesh' or not is irrelevant. I know in my heart that Manda and I (should we walk this path, and to be honest it looks more and more likely that we will) will be the greatest tattooed, slightly dorky, amazingly hilarious parents in the world. I would be honored for her to carry my children, but it not, it's no big thing...she's my best friend, and I'll stand by her forever.
Not to say we might not have already discussed names....:bigsmile:
cue the waterworks...
:sad: :sad: :sad:
I am by far the luckiest woman on the face of the earth.0 -
im so glad for you two, i really am.
Josh and i hit it off immediately just like you two seemed to have... And all i can say is that when you know, you know im sure everything will play out as it is supposed to in due time...
now. I dont know if yall knew this, but i used to be a voice major. So, premature or not, I am telling you right now, that i am singing in yalls wedding!!0 -
im so glad for you two, i really am.
Josh and i hit it off immediately just like you two seemed to have... And all i can say is that when you know, you know im sure everything will play out as it is supposed to in due time...
now. I dont know if yall knew this, but i used to be a voice major. So, premature or not, I am telling you right now, that i am singing in yalls wedding!!
Haha, I would be honored lovely Em. :happy:0
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