Parents, how often do you go out?

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  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    After getting a comment insinuating that we go out too much I am wondering ...

    In general how often do you go out without the kids (anything recreational counts)

    Do you And youe s.o. Go together or seperate?

    How many kids and ages?

    After having opposite schedules for a year, hubs and I now go out together one night a week leaving our 2 yr old with grandma for about 3 hours. I dont feel its excessive. We dont drink a lot hit clubs etc.

    who is complaining? if it's grandma? then yes you are going out too much.

    if it's not grandma then who are they to judge?

    I go out about twice a week. But I have a large family and a large circle of friends who all enjoy spending time with Jbean.

    More often than not I get told 'Mom, you go out and do something, XXX is coming over and we're gonna do stuff. "

    so yes...twice a week.

    edited to add: Jbean is 10.
  • Cindy873
    Cindy873 Posts: 1,165
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    I don't have kids and I don't think once a week is excessive...especially since you have a willing (she's willing, right?) and possibly eager built-in babysitter (grandparents can never get enough of the grandkids, right?).

    Hahahahaa, I wish! My mil has babysat our kids 4 times in 9 YEARS!!! She can't travel across our city to babysit our kids but can travel to the other side of the country to babysit for her daughters kid and that's sometimes for over a week.

    I understand!! Out of my parents AND my in-laws, none of them have even seen my son in 4 years...and he's only 8! He doesn't even know what having a grandparent is like.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Kids grown up and left home but we still don`t go out it is just too expensive, and we have to sub the kids all the time to help with their rent..so it just never stops even when they `grow up n leave home` lol
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    We have a son who's nearly 4 and a daughter who's nearly 2. In almost 4 years we've been out about 6 times together in the evening. We sometimes have a coffee out every other Fri as I work part time, 3 days one week, 2 the other, so they go to childcare 3 days each week.

    I've been on a few nights out while my husband has looked after the kids and vice versa, maybe 5 in nearly 4 years.

    My parents don't live locally but if we lived near them we'd probably go out more often. We live near my MIL but she's selfish and hardly ever makes the effort to see her grandkids, let alone babysit!
  • eliseofthejungle
    eliseofthejungle Posts: 113 Member
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    I'm 28, my husband is 29, and our son is 2. My husband has pool every Tuesday and goes out some weekends with this friends, but I just stay home those nights. We go out together probably once or twice a month and leave our son with his grandparents. We'd probably go out more often, but I don't like to pick him up after his bed time so we usually do over-nights or entire weekends with the grands and I would feel guilty asking too often. Plus, honestly, I don't want too much time to myself because the more time I have to be free the less I enjoy being tied down - I definitely wasn't ready to have a kid when I did. Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than anything and he is amazing, but I miss being me.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    Almost 3 year old and a 7 month old. We try to go on a date night once a month without the kids, but it really depends on if and when Grandma is available to watch the kiddos. Also, our 7 month old started day care in early January and has pretty much been sick non-stop since...so we haven't been out at all the last 2 months for a date.

    She does go out with the girls once per month and I go play pool with the guys once a month.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    We share custody with my ex husband. So we only have them every other week.

    On the weeks we don't have them we will usually go out one night on the weekend and one night during the week.
    I also may have a GNO while we don't have them.
    We're social people, and our schedule kind of lets us be.

    We don't go anywhere without them when we have them, it would be a waste of our precious time with them.
  • josavage
    josavage Posts: 475 Member
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    So there is a big perk to my son going to his dad's every other weekend - my husband and I get a lot more time alone than other married people. I only got a sitter for him once or twice. We made all of our plans for when he was at his dad's. Now that he is in high school, we go out all of the time. We just have to be home by 11 because that's what time my son has to be home by. I have to make sure he gets in. I don't think leaving the kids with grandma once a week is bad at all. Go enjoy yourself without feeling guilty.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    I think this generally depends on the availability of relatives to watch the kid(s). People use babysitters, but in my experience, people don't leave babies with babysitters; they leave older children. For a baby, you need a grandma.
    My wife and I had no family close. So we hardly ever went out.
    Finally, just before the birth of our second son, we decided to take an evening/night just the two of us. It would have been the first time in 18 months we would have been without the oldest. My mom lived two-and-a-half hours away. So, I drove my son down there and I drove back. My mom agreed (begged really) to keep my son for three days! Yippee! Three whole days of R and R before we suddenly had two children.
    Unfortunately, we got one evening. As we took a leisurely stroll to get breakfast in an actual restaurant that first morning, my wife's water broke. Two weeks early. She gave birth to my second son about noon.
    We hardly ever went out without the kids after that, and we never spent a night without them, until about three years later. I had a business trip to Seattle. I convinced my wife to meet me there over the weekend, and my sister (who also lived about two hours away) agreed to come stay at our house and watch the kids.
    Well, the wife flew up to Seattle on Friday night and, about three o'clock that morning, my sister called in a panic. My oldest son had a terrible cough and was whooping, and she did not know what to do.
    By the way, my sister had already raised three kids of her own. But, since she was looking after someone else's kid, she panicked.
    We told her to take him to the emergency room, and, as it turned out, he just had the croup. So, as soon as she got him outside in the cool air, the coughing and whooping stopped.
    Of course, we didn't know that. So we could not get back to sleep. We did not hear back from my sister until about 9 in the morning. I was already at work.
    Then, my wife went out for a run, and got lost in the strange town. Her run lasted about three hours. She was so tired that, when we went out to dinner that night, the first time we had gone to someplace really nice in five years, she fell asleep before the soup came, forehead straight down in between the silverware.
    I let her sleep, and ate alone.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    I have three kids. My parents are open to letting them all stay on weekends, but someone always wants to be home so we rarely get out. When we do, we practically have to leave home.
  • Suzyqall72
    Suzyqall72 Posts: 105
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    There is definitely a difference between going out and leaving kids with a sitter vs Grandma. I think it is good for them to spend time with grandma and good for your relationship, too. Unfortunately my mom didn't live close, so when my kids were young, we never went out without them. If one of us had to go for a work function or something, the other would stay at home with the kids. Not good for your marriage, trust me.
  • blondemom1979
    blondemom1979 Posts: 64 Member
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    Hubbie and I have time together if my day off falls on a weekday, then the kiddies are in school, we might go out and grab lunch :D. We mostly don't go out at all, my hours have been cut at work and financially we just can't afford it but we find family things to do for cheap or free. We go sledding, skating, cross country skiing, for walks etc. we watch local papers for cheap or free family things to do, we recently went to a night time walk at our local conservation area that was to educate kids about nocturnal animals, they had a bon fire etc and we had tons of fun! As far as myself and hubbie we don't have anyone to babysit so we only go out once a year on our anniversary. I don't go out by myself, other than my walks....hubbie visits his buddy who happens to be a close neighbor nightly after kids are in bed and I have a long hot bath while i have time alone lol
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    Before she started school maybe once every 3 months, now that she is in school once every 2 - 3 weeks.
  • jcjsjones
    jcjsjones Posts: 571 Member
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    We hardly ever get to go out. Maybe 1 or 2 times a year. However, my son is now getting old enough to where he can stay home with his little sister for a couple of hours during the day. We take that time to go grocery shopping together, go to the gym..etc. Sounds romantic, huh? LOL! There is something to be said for going to the grocery store without having to corral 2 kids..lol!
  • Naomi0222
    Naomi0222 Posts: 84
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    Not enough. Honestly, I wish we could do it once a week. That's not excessive at all. We just went out last week for a date night ( dinner and comedy club) 200 dollars later, not including babysitting fees. Last time was November!! We just don't have family close to where we live to babysit and to go out as often as we wish, or can spend 200 every-time. Kids are almost 2 and almost 4. This is a very busy time... but its very important for a couple to have time for themselves so that they never forget why they got together in the first place. ""Good for you" key to a strong lasting relationship/ marriage !
  • TrinaGoss
    TrinaGoss Posts: 198 Member
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    My husband and I try to go out once a month. Both of our families live about an hour away, so it makes sense for our daughter, who is 6, to stay the night when she visits them. She usually stays a whole weekend - one night with my husband's parents, the next night with mine. We don't always go out, but we at least get some much needed together time!
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Rarely, maybe once a month. Three kids and no local family means it's very expensive to do so.

    We solve this problem by inviting people over at night and letting the kids sleep over. Much cheaper for everyone around.
  • cnelson1974
    cnelson1974 Posts: 235 Member
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    I'm a single mom who rarely goes out as well. I don't like the bar scene at all. It just makes me feel lonely and pathetic. I did go to our company Christmas and a friend's birthday party at their home about a month ago. I generally try and find me time in any form possible. My teenagers accually bug me to go out more because they want me to meet someone nice. LOL, I have great kids.

    My me time is I will sometimes go to the movies by myself, I have an old car that I like to beat up on (rebuild), or sometimes I can meet a friend for coffee or lunch. My kids are extremely active in scouts so I get one-on-one time with each of them at their events. It's probably boring for many people, but boring is better then drama any day.
  • Healthy_fresh_start
    Healthy_fresh_start Posts: 183 Member
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    OUT? what is out?? haha work and tesco is as much as my social life gets these days
  • jocanlose
    jocanlose Posts: 47 Member
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    I last went out three years ago with my husband at night. My parents live a long way away and my friends all have kids so they don't want to look after mine. I go out with friends about four times a year, sometimes I go to the cinema I my own. But we never get to go out at night together.