How to respond to a smug vegetarian?

2

Replies

  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
    Some people just need to be right...it's an ego thing. Even if he wasn't a vegetarian, he would find some other way to be "holier-than-thou". Ask him if he's seen a therapist to talk about his obvious insecurities.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    I would buy a huge block of cheese and eat it in the car with him. And eat it. If he said anything about cheese, I'd agree enthusiastically.

    "You're so right. Cheese is a killer." Then take another huge bite.

    That's what I would do too. I usually skip cheese or have soy cheese but in this situation I'd eat lots of dairy cheddar :)

    Defo this - I can be very petty when I want to be - and he IS an asshat.

    Cheese is tasty tasty protein. :love:
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Stop talking to him. Seriously, just walk off when he opens his yap. In the car, don't respond to him when he starts crap.
  • rmdaly
    rmdaly Posts: 250 Member
    Sounds like someone who just likes to argue and win his point. Start responding with a noncommittal "hmmm" so that he has nothing to argue against. Nothing you are going to say anyway is going to change his mind.
  • RollinDawg
    RollinDawg Posts: 235 Member
    My favorite reply to a vegetarian "If God didn't want people to eat meat, he wouldn't have made them so damn tasty."
  • stargazer008
    stargazer008 Posts: 531
    In my bio class, I also have to deal with a person like this.

    Just ignore him, eventually he will get the idea that you do not wish to engage in further conversations.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Sounds like his cheesestick is too SMALL... and his ego/need to obsess about what women in his life are eating is too LARGE.

    Ignore him as much as you can and NEVER share any personal info about your future job change plans.

    Listen to ipod/language program/books on tape when it is not your turn to drive the carpool.

    Not sure how you made the connection, but you seemed to find a path to penis shaming. Congrats!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Get his wife a gift of a "cheese of the month" club.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    just keep bringing up that he isn't a real vegetarian if he eats fish. that will get him going lol.
    he sounds like a real turd though. tell him to shut the **** up and mind his own business, or that you will shut his mouth with cheese for him.
  • dlg1467
    dlg1467 Posts: 68 Member
    You don't win friends with salad ; )

    http://youtu.be/aM6xVQwIOYQ
  • linnaeus
    linnaeus Posts: 36 Member
    Glad you got to vent.

    His behavior has nothing to do with being a vegetarian, as you acknowledge from the start, so why even bring it up? It would be as if you knew a jerk who also ate a lot of cookies, and then titled it, "I know this a-hole cookie-monster," insinuating that all cookie monsters are likely to be a-holes. But we all know there's plenty of cookie monsters that are friendly and lovable. You get my drift?

    Mr. Smug can't set your boundaries for you. You decide what kind of behavior you are comfortable around, and then set those boundaries. It's your responsibility to enforce them for the sake of your own well-being. Once you try, I'm sure you'll find it empowering and you'll keep doing it :) Good luck.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
    I don't get his attitude. Why is cheese wrong but eating a fish is ok? I never understood why people will label themselves as vegetarian but they will still consume fish. It's a little hypocritical in my opinion if you are not willing to eat one animal that has been killed for you to eat but will eat another (if that's their reason for being a fake vegetarian).

    Stop talking diet, weight loss, food, etc with him. Should he open his mouth and comment on your food choices just tell him it's your choice and you would prefer he not judge you for it nor do you wish to talk about your diet and lifestyle anymore.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Did I read right in that you want to introduce drugs testing because he smokes weed? Why would you want to do that? Sounds far worse than him talking about cheese.

    The company used to do random testing - I work in the chemical industry with lots of things that could blow up, spew crap into the environment or kill people. I just don't like any one who could be drunk, stoned, tweeking, hallucinating, etc. operating heavy equipment on a job site. My suggestion to bring back the random testing is being considered. I've had to let people go in the past for showing up to work drunk or stoned. One situation was really hard - he was a good guy and a good employee - he had a rough situation and had a few drinks before his shift - he got tagged for being drunk by supervisor, tested via breathalyzer, and was fired.

    Your explanation is just fine, but in the OP, you really made it sound like you were trying to reinstate drug testing because he smokes on the weekend. ("I've been working on re-instating the random drug tests because he bragged to me that he smokes the devil's lettuce almost every weekend.") Which has nothing to do with his job performance. So it's just possible that you are targeting him in a petty manner because you don't like the way he targets you. Possibly even attempting to get him fired. That sort of pulls the high ground out from underneath you, doesn't it? I know, side note, but maybe re-evaluate the way that you are handling this.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I suspect he became a vegetarian to have an easy outlet for his smugness, and not for any health-related reason.

    All the passive-aggressive suggestions are funny, but wouldn't actually improve your problem.

    Suggestion 1: stop carpooling with him. If you really think the gas money is worth the time you spend with this moron, you've decided you're willing to put up with him.

    Suggestion 2: stop carpooling with him. If you really think the gas money is worth the time you spend with this moron, you've decided you're willing to put up with him.

    Suggestion 3: stop carpooling with him. If you really think the gas money is worth the time you spend with this moron, you've decided you're willing to put up with him.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    If (s)he is especially smug, just say three words and (s)he will experience a fit of rage: "Expensive Tissue Hypothesis." If you actually want to twist the knife, say: "You confirm the Expensive Tissue Hypothesis."
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    Tell him to stick an asparagus up his *kitten*
  • iggyboo93
    iggyboo93 Posts: 524 Member
    Did I read right in that you want to introduce drugs testing because he smokes weed? Why would you want to do that? Sounds far worse than him talking about cheese.

    The company used to do random testing - I work in the chemical industry with lots of things that could blow up, spew crap into the environment or kill people. I just don't like any one who could be drunk, stoned, tweeking, hallucinating, etc. operating heavy equipment on a job site. My suggestion to bring back the random testing is being considered. I've had to let people go in the past for showing up to work drunk or stoned. One situation was really hard - he was a good guy and a good employee - he had a rough situation and had a few drinks before his shift - he got tagged for being drunk by supervisor, tested via breathalyzer, and was fired.

    Your explanation is just fine, but in the OP, you really made it sound like you were trying to reinstate drug testing because he smokes on the weekend. ("I've been working on re-instating the random drug tests because he bragged to me that he smokes the devil's lettuce almost every weekend.") Which has nothing to do with his job performance. So it's just possible that you are targeting him in a petty manner because you don't like the way he targets you. Possibly even attempting to get him fired. That sort of pulls the high ground out from underneath you, doesn't it? I know, side note, but maybe re-evaluate the way that you are handling this.

    Totally agree with you. I definitely do not want to make the personal professional. Boy my original comment didn't come off the way I intended for sure. Honestly, I don't want him to lose his job (don't want anyone to lose their job). I can only guess that most people have someone difficult in their lives - it's a matter of knowing how to deal with it and not lose your sense of self and dignity. Comments and suggestions very much appreciated. :smile:
  • beautifulregardless
    beautifulregardless Posts: 145
    I would buy a huge block of cheese and eat it in the car with him. And eat it. If he said anything about cheese, I'd agree enthusiastically.

    "You're so right. Cheese is a killer." Then take another huge bite.

    YESSSS. DO THAT. <3
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    rare beef and bacon, the answer to all the worlds problems.
  • wannabfit34
    wannabfit34 Posts: 23 Member
    I think that I would either ignore him or call him out for being a hypocrite smoking weed and drinking a six pack are not great behaviors either. I don't think that it has anything to do with him being vegetarian I think he is just a jerk.
  • FUELERDUDE
    FUELERDUDE Posts: 150 Member
    By talking to them with an abnoxiously open mouth while chewing on a big ole' Turkey leg...........

    In seriousness. Let them know you are happy they have chosen a lifestyle which is suitable to them and are respectful of that. Then remind them they should be just as curtious to you and your decisions to eat the way you do.
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    I'm a (mostly) vegan, but I don't push it on anyone else. I find it meets MY dietary needs (I have trouble with dairy and never really liked meat all that much.) But I believe each person needs to find the foods that work best for them. If your friend - and I have to wonder about how much of a friend she is - continues to be such a jerk about it, tell her to mind her own business.
  • Muldactus
    Muldactus Posts: 6,972 Member
    Take a 16oz raw steak and slap him in the face with it until he shuts up perhaps?
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
    It would be one thing if you wanted to learn about his point of view, but you don't, and it's stressing you out. Arguing will not make him stop. Short circuit his very next rant 8 seconds into it then put him on a training program. Reward good behavior and punish bad. Just don't use cheese as a reward. LOL
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Disclaimer - virtually all the vegetarians I know are incredible people who I respect because they joyfully offer support, recipes, and advice for my weight loss journey and are generally really pleasant to be around. Except this one guy.

    He is a coworker and unfortunately in my carpool. He and his wife are actually pescetarians (will eat fish). His wife is working on losing about 30 pounds - she has taken up running and I think she is doing awesome. He complains to me that she will eat jelly beans and justify eating something if she has gone for a long run. I told him that he really needs to let go of the jelly bean thing which happened almost a year ago. Her eating cheese seems to upset him greatly.

    I was in a staff meeting with him about 6 months ago and I started munching on the cheese that was left over from the lunch platter. I said "oh this is good protein". He scolded me in the car on the way home that calories are calories and it doesn't matter if it's a protein or carb. He then told me the "calories in - calories out" is the only way, I have to walk, I should play more soccer with my kid and I should try vegetarianism. Yesterday - he brought up the cheese thing again - holy crap - I ate that cheese 6 months ago. When I told him why he would bring this up - he ignored my comment. I responded that some overweight people struggle with their weight despite eating normal diets and sometimes it could be a thyroid or metabolic syndrome. I told him that losing weight is a lot tougher than maintaining weight. Then he proceeded to say - "well, none of the people in Auschwitz were overweight."

    Question - how do I respond to this moron? I unfortunately work with him and I pride myself in that I strive get along with everyone at work. He is smug - thinks he is better than everyone else at work. He openly defies the work that I do (safety) - he thinks the new safety rules the company is abiding by are stupid and mocks my job. I mentioned that I am looking for another job and he is upset because I would leave the carpool (what does he expect - it's an hour commute to work one way - I'm looking to work closer to home). I've been working on re-instating the random drug tests because he bragged to me that he smokes the devil's lettuce almost every weekend. I never bring up the fact that I believe he drinks too much - a six pack of IPA every night!?!?!? I did once and he skewered me because I smoke (side note: I signed up for the hospital's smoking cessation program which starts in April) and brought up the cheese thing again. But then he calls me a good person and a good friend.... weird. The guy admits he likes playing devil's advocate but this is getting ridiculous.

    Your thoughts? What's the obsession with cheese?

    It was very therapeutic to vent. Thanks. It would be great to go back to pleasantries while carpooling instead of being lectured on my failures as a human being.

    mumbling.... "calories in - calories out" - what crap........ going to the fridge and getting a slice of colby-jack

    Do you have to respond at all? I mean it's so easy to walk away from this.

    Well sure. I mean, unless they were stuck in a car. For an hour. Both ways. Great advice.
  • suz155
    suz155 Posts: 326 Member
    He secretly wants cheese and is pissed off when he sees anyone else comsuming what he really wants to eat. Personally,,,,I love cheese.
  • 130annie
    130annie Posts: 339 Member
    Disclaimer - virtually all the vegetarians I know are incredible people who I respect because they joyfully offer support, recipes, and advice for my weight loss journey and are generally really pleasant to be around. Except this one guy.

    He is a coworker and unfortunately in my carpool. He and his wife are actually pescetarians (will eat fish). His wife is working on losing about 30 pounds - she has taken up running and I think she is doing awesome. He complains to me that she will eat jelly beans and justify eating something if she has gone for a long run. I told him that he really needs to let go of the jelly bean thing which happened almost a year ago. Her eating cheese seems to upset him greatly.

    I was in a staff meeting with him about 6 months ago and I started munching on the cheese that was left over from the lunch platter. I said "oh this is good protein". He scolded me in the car on the way home that calories are calories and it doesn't matter if it's a protein or carb. He then told me the "calories in - calories out" is the only way, I have to walk, I should play more soccer with my kid and I should try vegetarianism. Yesterday - he brought up the cheese thing again - holy crap - I ate that cheese 6 months ago. When I told him why he would bring this up - he ignored my comment. I responded that some overweight people struggle with their weight despite eating normal diets and sometimes it could be a thyroid or metabolic syndrome. I told him that losing weight is a lot tougher than maintaining weight. Then he proceeded to say - "well, none of the people in Auschwitz were overweight."

    Question - how do I respond to this moron? I unfortunately work with him and I pride myself in that I strive get along with everyone at work. He is smug - thinks he is better than everyone else at work. He openly defies the work that I do (safety) - he thinks the new safety rules the company is abiding by are stupid and mocks my job. I mentioned that I am looking for another job and he is upset because I would leave the carpool (what does he expect - it's an hour commute to work one way - I'm looking to work closer to home). I've been working on re-instating the random drug tests because he bragged to me that he smokes the devil's lettuce almost every weekend. I never bring up the fact that I believe he drinks too much - a six pack of IPA every night!?!?!? I did once and he skewered me because I smoke (side note: I signed up for the hospital's smoking cessation program which starts in April) and brought up the cheese thing again. But then he calls me a good person and a good friend.... weird. The guy admits he likes playing devil's advocate but this is getting ridiculous.

    Your thoughts? What's the obsession with cheese?

    It was very therapeutic to vent. Thanks. It would be great to go back to pleasantries while carpooling instead of being lectured on my failures as a human being.

    mumbling.... "calories in - calories out" - what crap........ going to the fridge and getting a slice of colby-jack

    If he starts on you again....Just say (name) you do it your way and I'll do it mine.....Then change the subject....
  • DarkDiva2005
    DarkDiva2005 Posts: 140
    I would buy a huge block of cheese and eat it in the car with him. And eat it. If he said anything about cheese, I'd agree enthusiastically.

    "You're so right. Cheese is a killer." Then take another huge bite.

    YES YES YES!!!!! :laugh: :devil: :laugh:
  • iggyboo93
    iggyboo93 Posts: 524 Member
    Then he proceeded to say - "well, none of the people in Auschwitz were overweight."

    are you effing kidding me?! he honestly compared someone working towards getting HEALTHY to the prisoners or Auschwitz!?
    Sounds like this person needs his head checked because there is something seriously wrong with them.

    Yah - this comment stunned me. I never told him about my hubby's grandmother. His family has a farm in Germany. During WWII, his grandmother hid a young Jewish couple and their baby on the farm. I got to meet my grandma-in-law once before she died - she was a remarkable woman.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    He secretly wants cheese and is pissed off when he sees anyone else comsuming what he really wants to eat. Personally,,,,I love cheese.

    ^yup

    how is cheese too high in calories but beer isn't?
    I would take cheese over beer any day.
    And cheese makes me end up in the fetal position on the floor.
    Thats how fantastic cheese is.

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