Binge drinking?

rachaelheaney
rachaelheaney Posts: 116
in Motivation and Support
I go on nights out maybe once or twice a month at this point. I used to drink a lot more, maybe a bottle of vodka, on these nights. Now, when I have a night out I drink anywhere from a quarter bottle to a half bottle (15 units), with soda and lime or diet coke. I always log it.

I'm 20 years old, and all my friends go out a couple times a week, as I used to too. But now that I'm making an effort to be healthier overall, which includes drinking less, I feel like I'm being left out. My friends think it's weird that I don't drink like I used to. I'm still BINGE drinking when I go out though, which is obviously not the healthiest... When I go out with them and don't drink, they don't like it. I love being able to remember going home, I love not being a complete hungover mess the next day, and I love feeling healthier. It's like they can't support my new healthier lifestyle. Socialising to people my age seems to revolve around alcohol. I've asked some of my friends to come to the cinema, or go bowling or whatever, and it doesn't appeal to them. :frown:

Has anyone else felt left out now they drink less? Do you have any advice for me?
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Replies

  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    If your friends cant support you drinking less, then I think you need to find some new friends.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    I lost a lot of friends when I quit drinking. Then I realized I didn't need those sorts of friends.
  • thatcrazykat
    thatcrazykat Posts: 73 Member
    It's not that I feel left out, I usually end up caving in and having that one more, ok one more, ok really just one more. I also log it so I can look back and ask myself if it's really worth it. I also enjoy feeling better, no more Saturday morning headaches. One thing I have done is try to hang out with friends who don't drink as much. The focus is on the activity rather than the drink in hand. You have the right idea for suggesting other activities besides being a bar fly, but if they aren't interested consider expanding your friendship group to include people who are movers and shakers.
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    I get what you all mean about finding friends who support it. My best friends do support my choices. But still, literally everyone my age seems to go out drinking every weekend. If I go out with them and don't drink it annoys them, like maybe they feel self-conscious being drunk when I'm staying sober? I don't know.

    Although I have to say, not only is my waist agreeing with my choices, but my wallet too, haha! :laugh:
  • XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX
    XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX Posts: 274 Member
    I get what you all mean about finding friends who support it. My best friends do support my choices. But still, literally everyone my age seems to go out drinking every weekend. If I go out with them and don't drink it annoys them, like maybe they feel self-conscious being drunk when I'm staying sober? I don't know.

    Although I have to say, not only is my waist agreeing with my choices, but my wallet too, haha! :laugh:

    I'm your age. I go out a few times a month. But thats about it.
    You can find friends who don't need that lifestyle to survive... Trust Me! :)
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    I get what you all mean about finding friends who support it. My best friends do support my choices. But still, literally everyone my age seems to go out drinking every weekend. If I go out with them and don't drink it annoys them, like maybe they feel self-conscious being drunk when I'm staying sober? I don't know.

    Although I have to say, not only is my waist agreeing with my choices, but my wallet too, haha! :laugh:

    I'm your age. I go out a few times a month. But thats about it.
    You can find friends who don't need that lifestyle to survive... Trust Me! :)

    Where? Haha!! Thanks though. :smile:
  • rougecrayon
    rougecrayon Posts: 100
    It's pretty easy to fool drunk people.

    When your friends are still sober, get regular drinks. Go to the bar soemtimes, and ask them to top the drink up with water. It is watered down, but you get twice the time with half the calories, and your friends think you got a new drink.

    Later in the night when their vision starts to blur, start getting water with a lime on he side, and tell people you are drinking gin or vodka on the rocks. Most drunk people at this point wont even notice a lack of smell. If they do they have never told me.

    If you are still fine drinking, make it every other drink (which makes the pain less for later too!) alcohol, every other drink water - disguised as booze!

    Also, if you get a beer, you can continue to fill it with water to make it look like you are drinking.

    Last and most effective... offer to be designated driver, and don't tell your friends it's because you want to be healthy... YOU'LL be a HERO! Everyone loves a safe and cheap ride home.
    You can also ask your friends for some gas money - Free night for you! Most bars offer free pop (soda) for DD's!
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    It's pretty easy to fool drunk people.

    When your friends are still sober, get regular drinks. Go to the bar soemtimes, and ask them to top the drink up with water. It is watered down, but you get twice the time with half the calories, and your friends think you got a new drink.

    Later in the night when their vision starts to blur, start getting water with a lime on he side, and tell people you are drinking gin or vodka on the rocks. Most drunk people at this point wont even notice a lack of smell. If they do they have never told me.

    If you are still fine drinking, make it every other drink (which makes the pain less for later too!) alcohol, every other drink water - disguised as booze!

    Also, if you get a beer, you can continue to fill it with water to make it look like you are drinking.

    Last and most effective... offer to be designated driver, and don't tell your friends it's because you want to be healthy... YOU'LL be a HERO! Everyone loves a safe and cheap ride home.
    You can also ask your friends for some gas money - Free night for you! Most bars offer free pop (soda) for DD's!

    Great tips, actually. I drink water in between all my alcoholic beverages anyways (which is probably why I'm in the bathroom so much, haha!!)! And vodka soda lime is easy to cover, I'll just get soda and lime. Same with vodka and diet coke... just get diet coke!! :D

    I can't be designated driver yet, I'm in the process of learning to drive (I know, I know, left it super late), but after I pass my test that's a great idea too.

    Thanks.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Order club soda and bitters. They'll never know the difference.
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    Order club soda and bitters. They'll never know the difference.

    What are bitters?
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    I didn't lose friends, but they did start calling me less and less when I lessened my drinking. A lot of my friends drink no matter what they're doing...fishing, hiking, softball, plus nights out. I might have one drink, but never got drunk. It was frustrating, but I'd rather be healthy than hungover.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Order club soda and bitters. They'll never know the difference.

    What are bitters?

    http://cocktails.about.com/od/spirits/tp/about_bitters.htm

    a splash in club soda and everyone will think you're keeping up. Even if they taste it.

    ETA: bitters do have alcohol, just add a splash.
  • Jcole05
    Jcole05 Posts: 21 Member
    I feel ya girl!!!!! I usually make Saturday night my one night out for drinking, but at other events and things, people are not very supportive. For instance, we were at a Super Bowl party on a Sunday night and several comments were made about why I was drinking water instead of beer. It's annoying, and I'm in the same boat with ya. I don't want new friends because I love the ones I've got, but it's annoying that some of them don't appreciate what I'm trying to do.
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    I didn't lose friends, but they did start calling me less and less when I lessened my drinking. A lot of my friends drink no matter what they're doing...fishing, hiking, softball, plus nights out. I might have one drink, but never got drunk. It was frustrating, but I'd rather be healthy than hungover.

    Exactly! Night out? Have a drink! Night in? Have a drink! Going camping? Have a drink! Going to the game? Have a drink! It's ridiculous. I think they feel like I'm judging them? Even though I've never said that. I used to be like that, so how could I judge? It's just seen as "normal" to drink so much when you're young or something. It really shouldn't be, but it is.

    I'm starting a new gym in April though, so maybe I'll find some new like minded friends there. Also looking to join a book club, since I'm a complete bookworm. Some of my friends with kids don't drink much, so they're always great to go for coffee with and stuff, which is nice.
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    Order club soda and bitters. They'll never know the difference.

    What are bitters?

    http://cocktails.about.com/od/spirits/tp/about_bitters.htm

    a splash in club soda and everyone will think you're keeping up. Even if they taste it.

    ETA: bitters do have alcohol, just add a splash.

    Good idea! Thanks. :smile:
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    I feel ya girl!!!!! I usually make Saturday night my one night out for drinking, but at other events and things, people are not very supportive. For instance, we were at a Super Bowl party on a Sunday night and several comments were made about why I was drinking water instead of beer. It's annoying, and I'm in the same boat with ya. I don't want new friends because I love the ones I've got, but it's annoying that some of them don't appreciate what I'm trying to do.

    Yes, exactly! I love my friends! I don't want to see them less just because I want to drink less! I also love going out and dancing, but without all the booze I can still get up early the next day, which is great.

    Thinking I may have to try fooling them into thinking I'm drinking, haha.
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    Also, if you get a beer, you can continue to fill it with water to make it look like you are drinking.
    Your post was great except for this. This is some sort of blasphemous heretic infidel something really bad and wicked way of speaking. Also it sounds gross. And upsetting. I'm upset. I'm upset and I rarely even drink anymore.

    This world. What is it coming to?

    (But overall, great advice!)
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    Also, if you get a beer, you can continue to fill it with water to make it look like you are drinking.
    Your post was great except for this. This is some sort of blasphemous heretic infidel something really bad and wicked way of speaking. Also it sounds gross. And upsetting. I'm upset. I'm upset and I rarely even drink anymore.

    This world. What is it coming to?

    (But overall, great advice!)

    Haha! I know! I rarely have beer, but when I do I don't want it to be watered down.
  • wo1wendy
    wo1wendy Posts: 40 Member
    I have found if I have a glass in my hand noone usually cares. If you want it to look like a drink have ginger ale with a splash of cranberry and a lime. I was out singing karaoke with my niece (23yr old and doesnt drink at all) until midnight and we both felt like we had a hangover the next day. I still have a fantastic time out but now I make sure we all get home okay. At first my friends were uncomfortable with it but they got used to it. I havent drank in 12 years and last year started a little bit again. Realized I dont really like it anymore
    Good Luck. like with everything it takes time to get used to it
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    As someone who was 20 not that long ago, believe me when I say that at the time it might FEEL like everyone your age is drinking, but that's not true. The people they aren't just aren't out at bars/club. :tongue: You just have to start looking at new places for like-minded people, like meeting people at gyms, get a job, join a run club, etc.

    But until then, just drink water and diet soda all night and no one will care after they get drunk. Dance the night away and have fun burning those calories and not having a hangover the next day like your friends! :drinker:
  • NanaWubbie
    NanaWubbie Posts: 248 Member
    As I became healthier, I found that some of my friends were not the friends I thought they were. I found new friends that were more supportive of my goals. I have no regrets.
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    As someone who was 20 not that long ago, believe me when I say that at the time it might FEEL like everyone your age is drinking, but that's not true. The people they aren't just aren't out at bars/club. :tongue: You just have to start looking at new places for like-minded people, like meeting people at gyms, get a job, join a run club, etc.

    But until then, just drink water and diet soda all night and no one will care after they get drunk. Dance the night away and have fun burning those calories and not having a hangover the next day like your friends! :drinker:

    I start a new gym in April, so I'll be able to look there. I have a job, but everyone in my campaign drinks loads too, haha. Hopefully I'll make new friends soon, and the ones I do have will just need to adjust. :smile:
  • DoxieLove10612
    DoxieLove10612 Posts: 145 Member
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck

    I'm not underage... I live in Northern Ireland. The legal drinking age in the UK is 18.
    My friends who enjoy drinking are not losers.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck
    Not helpful in the slightest. Judgmental, yes.
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck
    Not helpful in the slightest. Judgmental, yes.

    Agreed. And I am not underage, as I said in my last post, the legal drinking age in the UK is 18. Not everyone on this site is American.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck
    Not helpful in the slightest. Judgmental, yes.

    Agreed. And I am not underage, as I said in my last post, the legal drinking age in the UK is 18. Not everyone on this site is American.
    Yup. I knew you weren't because you referred to "units" of alcohol you consumed. :smile:
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck
    Not helpful in the slightest. Judgmental, yes.

    Agreed. And I am not underage, as I said in my last post, the legal drinking age in the UK is 18. Not everyone on this site is American.
    Yup. I knew you weren't because you referred to "units" of alcohol you consumed. :smile:

    Ooh, do they not count units in the US?
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Underage and admittedly openly about being a binge drinker is not a good sign. Put the booze down and find friends who don't partake. I used to binge drink and cleaned up. Yes I lost friends and felt like a lost lamb for a month but then decided they're losers who can't afford to do anything extra like go on vacations bc they spend all their money on something the will urinate in 20 minutes. Your liver is more important than that good luck
    Not helpful in the slightest. Judgmental, yes.

    Agreed. And I am not underage, as I said in my last post, the legal drinking age in the UK is 18. Not everyone on this site is American.
    Yup. I knew you weren't because you referred to "units" of alcohol you consumed. :smile:

    Ooh, do they not count units in the US?
    The average drinker/dieter? No. Ounces for liquor, and then other measures for wine (5oz? I can't remember), and beer. Actually, your OP probably freaked a few Americans out if they were assuming a 1:1 ratio of "drinks" to "units".
  • rachaelheaney
    rachaelheaney Posts: 116
    The average drinker/dieter? No. Ounces for liquor, and then other measures for wine (5oz? I can't remember), and beer. Actually, your OP probably freaked a few Americans out if they were assuming a 1:1 ratio of "drinks" to "units".

    Haha!! :laugh: Oh lordy, 15 drinks?! Nooo.

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