The crap people say....

I understand.... and many people in MFP have the same story...... ie.. the people you REALLY want approval or a compliment from are the ones who hurt your feelings, knock you down..... and essentially , here is the deal... When YOU change... the people around you have to change , but they don't. They can't handle your change. Many women in this site have mentioned that when they lose the weight, their guy sabotages them by taking them out for pizza... or bringing candy.... because it freaks out the guy that now she is pretty or attractive and he feels threatened.
I have suggested to many people that they get the family members or friends IN on their health plan. Walk together.... or share a great healthy salad... so that they can see you are eating healthy..... Get your doctor in on it... He or she says.. you are on the right track... how can they fight that? They can't...
There are many many people, in all age brackets in MFP who will support you. The goal for the weight loss is a long and healthy life. If someone has a problem with that, he or she needs to chill out . Don't get angry with them... but don't fall off the wagon , either. Don't eat the bad foods and keep on working out in a healthy schedule.... You are doing just fine!!!! Lean on some of the people in My Fitness Pal as you proceed to reach your next weight goal. You have to acquire a " thick skin" .... and ignore any negative comments. Don't even answer back... They'll get used to it..... I hope you enjoy a happy, healthy life...
Best wishes. :flowerforyou:

Ive come to realize that sometimes people just say...well...excuse my french...bull****! they say it and they are full of it. This has been a great community for the most part and i'm very thankful i found this place and for the people that have supported me here. I try to do my best to return the love i was given and i come across the occasional idiot and i realize ...they are just that...idiots. and i take what they say and thier advice with a grain of salt! unfortunately when we put ourselves out there we are going to encounter this but as grown ups i think most of us realize its not all rainbows and unicorns so we shouldn'y let it bother us. There are bitter, jealouse, digruntaled people out there...and some just plain stupid ones. Just have to choose who you listen to wisely. Let all the other comments fall upon def ears!

I don't know if these comments necessarily come from jealousy, I think it's a big part of the nature of a lot of people to know better about things, to try to get people do do/act/behave a certain way, and to just say things without really thinking about what they are saying. I never volunteer any information about my weight loss and usually just nod and smile when people comment. I think it's way more often about them and really has little or nothing to do with you.

Congratulations on your weight loss, by the way! Awesome job!

Praise is really, really nice... and in a way, when we conform to what we think is obviously so RIGHT in our own minds we can't conceive of why someone else would not agree, offer a compliment or praise and then feel inspired to make a change in their own lives.

Maybe you're doing something that they are uncomfortable with or that they have tried and failed. Maybe they don't feel the same desire or urge to make changes in their own lives. Maybe it's uncomfortable for them with the way you communicate, verbally or nonverbally, about how they look- words like unhealthy, lazy, ignorant kind of get thrown around a lot with people who are not within a certain weight range. [Usually subjectively derived in our heads as an ideal appearance- aside from medical professionals who are in the know or physical trainers who help those out of shape get into shape.] I always balked a little at how people who are at a healthy weight or feel they are at a healthy weight feel very free and very RIGHT about commenting on the status of my own health and make judgement about my own eating and exercise choices without having access to my medical record or seeing me outside of a few meals, if that, a year. It turns into a competitive, superiority justification deal... and that's not nice or fun for any of the parties involves.

People who go on weight journeys and find genuine happiness in themselves tend to come off with a certain religious fervor about changing people around them... and while I am TOTALLY happy that they have found what works for them, that doesn't necessarily mean I need someone to pressure, guilt, shame, persuade me into "turning my life around." Plus, sometimes it does get really tiring to hear them talk about weight and calories, exercise and scales as if that is all there is left on the Earth to talk about.

With all of that said though- Seriously, congrats on losing so much weight and please believe me when I say I AM genuinely glad you found things that worked for you and it has added to your happiness. It's unfortunate about friends and family, but sometimes that is the way it goes.

I really appreciate the kind words. I know their comments stem from jealousy, and I'm by no means perfect. I've been jealous of other peoples good fortune on occassion in my life, but I've never felt the need to try to bring someone else down just because I was down. I guess it's just a little sad to me that I have to log onto a website to get support from strangers basically, because my family and friends can't give it at all.

I totally feel what you are saying. I even quit telling people in my family of my life successes because there is not "shared happiness". Now, when my brother does anything - my mom brags to everyone. I'm still working on it, but I've come to the conclusion that I get healthy for me, I take vacations for me, I take educational classes for me. It really stinks to feel so good about something, only to let other people's silly reactions take that away.

Your success makes them have to look at themselves. You might not have looked like you needed to lose that much. My husband has underestimated both my weight and size in the last few weeks. You already did it and this was for you. You, we and god are happy for you, so is your body and your health. Your future self who gets to live a longer and happier life due to your efforts thanks you too. Congratulations.

don't listen to them. if they themselves are living unhealthy, then they don't have anything to say. you know you're doing great and being healthy, it's not like you are starving yourself to get thin right? just don't mind them.

I've had my share too, and it's the reason why I now don't tell people about my eating habits and especially about logging my calories

Overweight people, and I mean seriously overweight not 5lbs too heavy for the perfect swimsuit, tend to construct a tapestry of half truths around themselves to help protect the reality they have built in their heads. I know, I used to do it, figuring that out was why I am 139lbs down and am continuing to get healthier everyday.
You threaten that construction because you have done things that they have told themselves are not possible. That is why it is 'dangerous' and 'you need to be careful you are too thin and that is not healthy' etc.

I have had this problem for quite some time. Many many friends have had some ****ty things to say.

2 in particular, a male friend(400 pounds plus) and a female friend(300 pounds plus) ALWAYS, everytime I see them, ask me how I lost so much weight and what made me decide to lose the weight.

I start out with that I was fed up with my size and that the Dr. told me that I was in danger of Diabetes, among other things.

Early on, I would try to explain about MFP and exercise and the SIMPLER things.
From the both of them, I would get the same response: My Dr. tells me I am the healthiest fat person they have ever met. To which I say, Excellent for you. Then they brush off the eating properly and exercise.

The last 3-4 times the two of them have asked me about my weight loss, I respectfully told them, "I am not talking about weight loss to you." They ask why? Finally, I outright told the both of them, "You ask, but you don't listen. SO, why waste my breath." Do you know, they continue to ask me, every time I see them.

Congrats!

As far as the others, it's called jealousy.

And do you have any pictures to share?

They're just jealous of what you've been able to do and they have themselves convinced that they aren't capable of the same.

its the "Crabs in the barrel " complex, they want to hold you back because they're jealous.