In honor of Dr. Oz, A Poem!

taunto
taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
in Chit-Chat
Dr. Oz I hate you

Dr. Oz, I hate how you cry about my yummy foods
I hate how you think you know everything
about everything
I hate that you can't keep your mouth shut
about anything

Dr. Oz, I hate it when you complain about a balanced diet
I hate how you would make fun of Sugar
even though it is oh so much sweeter than you
I hate when you complain about carbs
even though its far better for me than you

Dr. Oz, I hate when you whine about milk
I hate how you are so pretentious
your taste isn't that great
I hate how you beat every joke to death
you're so unfunny

I hate that you're a sell out
You make other doctors look bad
Time Magazine calls you influential person to many
Chris Brown feels left out

Dr. Oz I hate you
You make me wanna fling poop at you



Sorry it didn't rhyme
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Replies

  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
    drozquack.png
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I DEMAND RHYME! :tongue:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    droz_zps51828284.gif
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    This is what my brain would like to do to "Dr." Oz every time I hear anything he has to say:

    tumblr_mf88eoO7It1rkno3ko1_250.gif
  • tegantheaverage
    tegantheaverage Posts: 142 Member
    I saw his show a couple of weeks ago and he said 'Eating white rice is the same as eating white sugar.'
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    tumblr_inline_mhaulq2WNc1qz4rgp.gif
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I saw his show a couple of weeks ago and he said 'Eating white rice is the same as eating white sugar.'

    *facepalm*

    Yeah... if I dumped a bunch of sugar on it!
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    I saw his show a couple of weeks ago and he said 'Eating white rice is the same as eating white sugar.'

    Maybe. If it's in rice pudding....
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
    I saw his show a couple of weeks ago and he said 'Eating white rice is the same as eating white sugar.'

    Maybe. If it's in rice pudding....

    I do love rice pudding
  • amsthegreat
    amsthegreat Posts: 228 Member
    <3 your poem
  • Spokez70
    Spokez70 Posts: 548 Member
    Dr. Oz I hate you
    You make me wanna fling poop at you


    Sorry it didn't rhyme

    Yes
  • amsthegreat
    amsthegreat Posts: 228 Member
    One of my sorority sisters messaged me for advice on losing weight because she was stuck. So I asked her to tell me about her exercise/eating habits. She told me she was drinking some concoction involving vinegar and cranberry juice... I asked why she would consume something that sounded so terrible... when she told me Dr. Oz said it aided in weight loss I wanted to smack her.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    One of my sorority sisters messaged me for advice on losing weight because she was stuck. So I asked her to tell me about her exercise/eating habits. She told me she was drinking some concoction involving vinegar and cranberry juice... I asked why she would consume something that sounded so terrible... when she told me Dr. Oz said it aided in weight loss I wanted to smack her.

    Well that concoction can help with water weight. Lots of potassium in apple cider vinegar and cranberry juice. But weight loss... nah!
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Dr Oz is a great, big *kitten*.

    I do love rice pudding, though.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    :love: this Taunto.

    I really felt it.

    Especially the part about making fun of Sugar.

    It's just unfair.
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,438 Member
    Bravo to you Taunto!!!!

    I personally like to watch Dr. Oz, it gives me my daily dose of laughter. :laugh:
  • JimLeonardRN
    JimLeonardRN Posts: 296 Member
    Dr Oz is good for a laugh! My mom has quit watching it if I'm at her house, cause I ridicule everything he says!
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    I saw his show a couple of weeks ago and he said 'Eating white rice is the same as eating white sugar.'
    This statement automatically makes me want rice pudding or kheer.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    I hereby resolve that you are the MFP Poet Laureate.

    Could you come up with one about his Princeton-educated daughter who is making an ever bigger mess of things on her TV show?
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    LMAO, in before the lock and the strike :flowerforyou:
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
    droz_zps51828284.gif

    That is all.
  • smaihlee
    smaihlee Posts: 171 Member
    Dr Oz is a great, big *kitten*.


    lol. One of my friends was complaining about how those fake Dr. Oz ads are showing up on her facebook news feed every 5 minutes. As if "real" Dr. Oz stuff in every magazine and all over the TV isn't bad enough.

    We Americans are such sheeples.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    Best poem i've read in quite awhile:D
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    yeah!

    And Eminem should angry Rap this!!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    yeah!

    And Eminem should angry Rap this!!

    He totally needs to. Would be much better rap compared to most of the other stuff out there nowadays
  • Pspetal
    Pspetal Posts: 426 Member
    yeah!

    And Eminem should angry Rap this!!

    He totally needs to. Would be much better rap compared to most of the other stuff out there nowadays

    Also, it would be public service!
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    Oh my gosh... Just when I thought my Monday morning was going to be "Unfunny"

    Thanks Taunto! I needed that laugh! I especially liked the flinging poop part!! :happy:

    Do you have any poems about Donald Trump??? :smile:
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    yeah!

    And Eminem should angry Rap this!!

    He totally needs to. Would be much better rap compared to most of the other stuff out there nowadays

    Also, it would be public service!


    Eminem : RAP RAP RAP RAP RAP!!

    Rihanna - Not gonna Staaand there and watch me burrrnn
    And that's not right, Coz i dont like the way it hurrtss
    Dr. Oz ..i hate the way you lie..
    i hate the way you lie...

    Eminem - RAP RAP RAP RAP!!
  • stringsj
    stringsj Posts: 8 Member
    Dr Oz you make me tired,
    You talk and talk and it all seems dire.
    What should we eat to make us lean?
    Very little it seems, unless it is steamed.

    I'm happy to see you are healthy and thin.
    As if we don't notice you tell us again (and again).
    There are some things I can't help but see,
    your follower Oprah is not a size 3!
    She looks pretty good (to me at least),
    however I'm sure she still eats bread made with yeast.
    Does that make you unhappy,
    I bet it is so.
    But then again you still make the big dough...

    Here is what I hope for you doctor my dear,
    I hope you never have to shed any tears.
    It's not easy being big and loving to eat,
    don't even think about anything sweet.
    We are who we are and we and we'll carry on all,
    with counting and sweating and trying not to fall
    Off the wagon that bumps down the road we all take
    While your talking and talking and making us shake
    Our resolve is strong and so are we
    So a wizard to us you may not be...
  • stringsj
    stringsj Posts: 8 Member
    Oops, I hit 'enter' before finishing my punctuation...

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