I just gotta say it somewhere...

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c2sky
c2sky Posts: 487 Member
in Food and Nutrition
because I can't say it in response to a post on fb. For months I have seen one of my friends, who is young but extremely overweight, post pictures and talk about all her "heavenly" treats on fb. Those treats are NEVER healthy. She brags about taking her kids around Costco for samples and going to Dairy Queen. She got a cold, and has been going to the doctor a lot. I know that anyone can catch a cold, but I know when we eat lots of sugar, and don't exercise, it affects our immunity and keeps us from getting better.

Well, today she posted something about all the doctor visits, and said, "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like just to be healthy." My gut wants to just write back, "well, you could start by cutting back on sugar and getting some exercise", but I don't think she's asking for advice. But I have such a hard time sitting by, watching someone have such a "friendship" with sweets, and then they can't figure out why they are sick a lot.

anyway, thanks for letting me get it out. Anyone else ever feel that way? Do any of you ever say anything to people like that?

Replies

  • bluebirdlx
    bluebirdlx Posts: 39
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    I can't imagine someone making a comment like that on FB and not expecting others to respond. Maybe she does want advice, or support and doesn't know how to ask. Instead of approaching her like you're admonishing her current way of living, why not just offer your support and ask her if she'd like any suggestions or help making changes.
  • MeeshyBW
    MeeshyBW Posts: 382 Member
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    I know what you mean.

    I know a few friends and family members who go on about wanting to loose weight and don;t know whey they don't loose weight when all they eat is salad etc.

    They don't realise that the salad is covered in about 250 calories of dressing, they drink sweetened tea/coffee all day long as well as binging on cake and chocolate at night. I have learned to bite my tongue.

    One of my friends is always going on about how much weight she has put on (to be fair none of these people moaning are obese, just could lose 20lbs) yet she eats like a bird all day then easily smashes in 100 calorie dinners and drinks wine every night. She also eats out about 3 times a week and never seems to cook proper meals.

    I actually set up a facebook page for my friends to like if they wanted to know what sort of meals I cook rather than me force it down their throats.
  • Hadabetter
    Hadabetter Posts: 942 Member
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    Feel free to vent. I get that same feeling sometimes on these message boards.
  • c2sky
    c2sky Posts: 487 Member
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    I can't imagine someone making a comment like that on FB and not expecting others to respond. Maybe she does want advice, or support and doesn't know how to ask. Instead of approaching her like you're admonishing her current way of living, why not just offer your support and ask her if she'd like any suggestions or help making changes.

    I was thinking the same thing, but I think she is really just complaining about her cold. One time she talked about running, and asked for advice on how to get started. I cheered her on, and as a personal trainer, I gave her some information about an easier program. I didn't address her weight issue, but I did tell her that my 10 week walk/jog program is easier to follow than couch to 5k, which she hadn't heard of. (Very obese people can have a very hard time running, but I never want to rain on anyone's parade, but I also didn't want her to hurt herself, so I gave her a very safe program, explaining that she could stretch it out as long as she needs to. Another time she asked about exercise bras. I responded to that too, but no response from her. I've tried to handle it very delicately.
  • terri0527
    terri0527 Posts: 678 Member
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    Maybe give her an invite to go and workout with you sometime....she might not know where to start. All you can do is offer your help, if she rejects it then it's on her. You did what you could.

    edit: since that response wasn't up here when I was typing...lol
  • fastfoodietofitcutie
    fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
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    You need to mind your own business. She obviously knows she's overweight and a lot of sugar is bad, I don't think you need to point it out. People are going to lose weight when they are ready, not because you tell them to.
  • c2sky
    c2sky Posts: 487 Member
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    Maybe give her an invite to go and workout with you sometime....she might not know where to start. All you can do is offer your help, if she rejects it then it's on her. You did what you could.

    edit: since that response wasn't up here when I was typing...lol

    I own a gym. She knows she is invited. That's why I have started community walks and runs, so that people don't think I'm just trying to get them to join my gym.
  • c2sky
    c2sky Posts: 487 Member
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    You need to mind your own business. She obviously knows she's overweight and a lot of sugar is bad, I don't think you need to point it out. People are going to lose weight when they are ready, not because you tell them to.

    I'm not saying I would tell her, but I've been biting my tongue for years. Today, I just had to vent. sorry.
  • thebuxompilgrim
    thebuxompilgrim Posts: 53 Member
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    I think you can say something without being overly direct. If you frame it as your own, personal experience instead of what she *should do* she probably won't take it personally. You could say something like, "I have found that cutting down on sugar has really bolstered by immune system...I hardly ever get sick anymore and when I do, I tend to recover quickly." And then direct her to an article that supports that statement. It doesn't have to be a confrontation, just friendly sharing of valuable information.
  • just4nessa
    just4nessa Posts: 459 Member
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    I think there are people that just want attention, even if it's only for negative things. I don't think your friend wants advice, just sympathy. I generally ignore people who post constant cries for attention, wondering why all the bad things happen to them but never look to themselves for the answer. Not everyone truly wants to be better because without the negative attention they may not get any attention at all.

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