"Trying" is not a goal

stumblinthrulife
stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just posted this on another thread, but thought it deserving of a wider audience. I see a lot of people talking about 'trying'. I can't help but think of trying as being the language of someone who expects to fail. Anyone can try, and if you mentally set your goal as 'trying', then you let yourself off the hook. "Ah well, I tried."

In business we're taught to set SMART goals - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely. For my weight loss and fitness goals, I personally focus on the first three. Make your goals specific, measurable and attainable.

Goals like these will lead to success (your actual goals may vary, I made these up randomly) :

"I will keep a detailed food diary for the next year, and will log everything honestly"
"I will consistently eat below my calorie needs until I reach my goal weight of 155 pounds"
"Once at my goal weight, I will consistently eat within +/- 100 calories of my TDEE, and continue track my weight"
"I will consistently eat at least 5 portions of fruit and vegetables every day"
"I will do a 30 minute cardio workout 3 times a week, and build and maintain the ability to run 5km in 25 minutes"
"I will do one hour of resistance training 3 times a week, and get and stay strong enough to deadlift 300lb"

Goals like these will not :

"I will get fitter" (You get fitter after every workout, so you could quit after any workout and still succeed)
"I will get in shape" (What shape? What do you actually want to be able to do? How will you know when you meet your goal?)
"I will eat better" (Better than what? Does better actually have to be 'good', or just not as bad? Only gaining 1 pound a week is better than gaining 2, after all)
"I will try to be better" (Trying is for people who expect to fail. We can all succeed at 'trying' with very little effort)
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Replies

  • NCchar130
    NCchar130 Posts: 955 Member
    I needed this reminder, thanks for posting. :flowerforyou:
  • Jamcnair
    Jamcnair Posts: 586 Member
    Good thoughts
  • emmymcq
    emmymcq Posts: 278 Member
    Couldn't have said it better myself. Very well done. :flowerforyou:
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    QFT
  • jenhanke
    jenhanke Posts: 24 Member
    This is excellent! I've started to realize that since I stopped saying "I'm trying," I feel so much more empowered. I am finally not "trying," I am "doing," and I am DOING it 100%. Everything you said makes so much sense; I really hope people will read it and take it seriously. If it's okay with you, I'd like to post it on my Facebook page for my friends to see.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    Excellent way to point out the difference between "trying" and actually "doing". Thanks.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    2844.yoda-do-or-do-not.jpg_2D00_610x0.jpg
  • lqmustang
    lqmustang Posts: 125 Member
    2844.yoda-do-or-do-not.jpg_2D00_610x0.jpg

    Bah, you beat me to it! lol


    The the OP, excellent post, my philosophy exactly!
  • Whipppets
    Whipppets Posts: 267
    Don't talk, just do it.
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    I am pro try/trying

    How do you know if you can or cannot do some thing unless you try the experience. Give it your best shot and see what happens.

    I will try to keep logging in my diary for a year. Most days I can and some days because of things that are out of my control I cannot, but as long as I stay focused on trying to hit my goals every day I will be succeeding in my goals, and not feel like a failure by not trying at all. :wink:
  • weatheredcheese
    weatheredcheese Posts: 112 Member
    Great post, like you said "Trying is not a goal", before now I have "Tried" to lose weight but at the beginning of the year I actually did it and am continuing to do so. Haven't started any weight training yet but I am going to do it, not gunna try just going to.
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    Great post, like you said "Trying is not a goal", before now I have "Tried" to lose weight but at the beginning of the year I actually did it and am continuing to do so. Haven't started any weight training yet but I am going to do it, not gunna try just going to.

    ok how will you know how heavy to start off your weight lifting? So unless you try several weights you won't know which lb weight good for you. Say you want to bench 600 lbs but you can only get up to 300lbs because of your body genetics are you still going to try or quit? If you keep trying you still may not be able to lift 600 lbs but you are improving regardless rather than not trying at all. So to achieve your goal you must try and with out trying you have no chance at that goal.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Great post, like you said "Trying is not a goal", before now I have "Tried" to lose weight but at the beginning of the year I actually did it and am continuing to do so. Haven't started any weight training yet but I am going to do it, not gunna try just going to.

    ok how will you know how heavy to start off your weight lifting? So unless you try several weights you won't know which lb weight good for you. Say you want to bench 600 lbs but you can only get up to 300lbs because of your body genetics are you still going to try or quit? If you try you still may not be able to lift 600 lbs but you are improving regardless rather than not trying at all.

    You completely missed the whole point of her post.
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    Great post, like you said "Trying is not a goal", before now I have "Tried" to lose weight but at the beginning of the year I actually did it and am continuing to do so. Haven't started any weight training yet but I am going to do it, not gunna try just going to.

    ok how will you know how heavy to start off your weight lifting? So unless you try several weights you won't know which lb weight good for you. Say you want to bench 600 lbs but you can only get up to 300lbs because of your body genetics are you still going to try or quit? If you try you still may not be able to lift 600 lbs but you are improving regardless rather than not trying at all.

    You completely missed the whole point of her post.

    I don't get poetry either, but its not just black and white. There are grey areas.
  • Amy106Days
    Amy106Days Posts: 172 Member
    If at first you don't succeed ....
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    Mm. You're right... Excuse me, while I go an re-evaluate my goals...
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    If at first you don't succeed ....
    ummm... try try again?
  • Seaglass1123
    Seaglass1123 Posts: 500 Member
    You can talk about it or you can DO IT.

    I did it and am still doing it lol

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/920139-lost-over-106-lbs-and-almost-to-goal-weight-pics
  • JosieRawr
    JosieRawr Posts: 788 Member
    ty :)
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
    For real. Great post, OP! :drinker:
  • minizebu
    minizebu Posts: 2,716 Member
    Word to the people!
  • timmemin
    timmemin Posts: 72 Member
    You are so right and this is what is holding me back. I am going to think up some better goals. :smile:
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    Like my husband says "if I'm trying, I'm lying. I gotta be doing."
  • DoOrDoNotThereIsNoTry1
    DoOrDoNotThereIsNoTry1 Posts: 149 Member
    Do, or do Not. There is NO TRY! -Yoda :)
  • arnezandyvette
    arnezandyvette Posts: 1
    Thank you I hear this often but I needed this reminder.
  • sjo55115
    sjo55115 Posts: 11 Member
    I'd say "getting fit" is a goal. :Losing 20 lbs" is a goal.

    Maintaining my food log...
    Running a mile every morning...
    Eating more six helpings of fruit and veggies a day...
    etc...

    These are methods or your tactics to reach your goal.
  • sremarie
    sremarie Posts: 37
    I like your point about having specific and measurable goals! Even when you feel like your "losing" like "supposed" to, you still feel like you've accomplished something and it makes it easier to keep a positive attitude.
  • lqmustang
    lqmustang Posts: 125 Member
    I quit smoking 13 years ago. Up until then I had 'tried' many times. I finally gave up on trying to quit, and just quit. Haven't touched one since. Last summer I told myself I was going to do the insanity program over the winter. I didn't try Insanity, I DID IT.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    This is a positive post, but like most things, even this doesn't apply to every situation. In the past, I've gone into this weight-loss thing with the attitude "This is it! I've got this! I'm so doing it this time!", and for some reason, that sort of thinking does something to my mind, and I start self-sabotaging. This time, I've gone into it telling myself that I'm ready for a change, and I'm going to do my best to do my best -- I'm going to try. I'm not going to fool myself into believing there's no possibility I'll fail. There is. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen, but the possibility is there. I can tell myself it isn't, but I'd be lying. That may sound self-defeating, but for me, it makes sense. Face the reality and try to overcome. That sounds pretty powerful to me.

    Success at trying leads to doing. It's all semantics, really.
  • Cyclink
    Cyclink Posts: 517 Member
    While all 5 of the "SMART" components are important, I usually find the things that work best are something that can be concretely measured and "did I meet this" is a simple yes/no question.

    Did I hit my target calories? YES
    Did I do all scheduled workouts? YES
    Did I meet or exceed all target zones? YES
    Did I record both weight and body fat at least 5 days this week? YES

    Those all have very simply yes/no answers. When you get into "well, maybe, I can't be sure.... it depends on a particular point of view...." then it's a lot easier to fudge your results.

    "Did I get fitter?" is often dependent on you define the term "fitter." Is that a lower body fat? A lower weight? A faster mile time? A better performance on a course (that may or may not have been due to a tail wind)? It's a lot harder to measure and much more nebulous to aim for.

    The word "trying" is a problem because it lacks commitment. It means "I'll see what happens." It's not a goal and it's certainly leaving a lot of room for a person to back out. It's also usually an early word found in posts asking about why someone is not reaching the goals they want. "I was trying to....."

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