Husband on board ... with MOST of my changes.

I have shared custody of my 9 year old son and so I struggle with his Dad feeding him too much crap. I think that it is a balance. You don't necessarily want your son to never have junk food. I feel that my Mom took it too far when I was a kid and then I would sneak off and eat junk. I think that it is important to teach your child about health and nutrition and that it is ok to have some of these things as an occasional treat but that most of the time there are better options. If you all are not eating out in restaurants often then it should be ok for your son to have fries, but maybe with a grilled chicken sandwich. It is nice that there are more healthy options at restaurants for kids now so that makes it easier to teach them how to eat healthy, even when out for dinner.

If you are going out extremely rarely, you are in charge of his eating most of the time, making meals at home. Every once in a while when you go out, easing up would not be horrible- offer your son a choice when he is old enough to choose, of a healthy option choice with the "junk" food. A hamburger from Burger King and apple slices.... Your son is already ahead of the game with you being concerned about his eating habits already.... :flowerforyou:

I struggled with weight my whole life. I agree with what you are saying about teaching your son about healthy choices. For me, 2 pieces of chicken or 2 pork chops was a normal portion. Now, I only cook 1 porkchop a person and there are 3 or 4 veggies to go with it. 2nds have to be veggies. BUT Ialso agree with your hubby. If you refuse to let him have the junk occasionally, he will want it even more. Give him choices and talk to him about why this is a better choice than that. I have 4 children. The oldest is 15. They have watched my weight loss journey and life time of struggling. I talk to them about healthy choices. At 2 or 3, they wanted the chicken nuggets. Now, at 15, she rarely chooses them. She prefers grilled chicken and salads becasue that is what I always fed her. She has the occasional hamburger. I'll be honest, I worry more about portions than about what they eat. Any fast food is a very rare treat and Mom is eating the salad so they know the right choices. I guess what I am taking forever to say is that more is caught than taught. He is learning his healthy habits by WATCHING you eat. Make sure you give him lots of fruits and veggies so he develops a taste for them. As he gets older, you will see him making a lot of good choices along with a few bad choices. Good Luck!!! BTW, NOT a fan of the clean your plate club. I had a knock down drag out with my father-in-law about that one!! I won, of course! LOL

We let the kids have some junk as a reward, not as regular food they eat just because they're kids. When we go out they have juices or teas, no sodas and usually grilled chicken, sometimes hamburgers with the veggies and fruit instead of fries. If the kids have a good week at school or get an award we may let them have their fries.

At home we always eat very healthy but I do admit they do eat chicken nuggets made from white meat chicken about twice a month at home.

I think for kids, it's very important they learn how it eat well, but if you deny them too much when they reach high school when they make their own choices, they may over indulge in the "forbidden foods."

I have one question. Is your husband overweight? If he is, he should be more understanding to your point of view. If not, then he'll never understand. I think you're doing the right thing. I like the 80/20 thing another poster mentioned.

I'm trying to go with everything in moderation... for the entire family. My husband, who doesn't have as much of a weight problem as I do, doesn't always provide the best example of eating healthy! But I think we have to be doing something right... my 4 year old told us Saturday (after being fed a snowcone, ice cream and something else by my husband while I wasn't around), "Mommy, I think I've had enough sugar today". Though he *did* eat some more later... it was not a typical day, we were at a festival-type thing. Plus I have to share credit for that statement with a Super Why episode.

I try to help him make good choices. For example, at McDonald's he gets chicken nuggets with apple dippers and chocolate milk or a soft drink (sweet tea or Hi-C orange). If he chooses fries (which he hardly ever does) he has to have regular milk. He *always* chooses oranges with nuggets at Wendy's. At other types of restaurants, I offer him most choices, and he makes good choices most of the time. I think he even chose broccoli once (he likes broccoli!).

I think that kids are going to copy what they see. If you model healthy eating and offer healthy snacks at home, he will be more likely to choose those away from home. If you forbid something he'll just want to eat in anyway.

Kids love to help cook too! Even 2 year olds can help stir. I know my little boy is much more likely to eat something if he helped make it. He is also learning what fruits and veggies look like before they are cooked and how to cook them. As he gets older I hope we'll talk more about why I make the choices I do in buying groceries... for now I just love exposing him to a variety of fresh foods.

What really bugs me is when restaurants assume kids just want to eat junk. We get huge surprised looks when my little boy asks for a baked potato instead of fries, or happily eats fruit instead of fries, or even when I'm reading off the menu too him and offering healthy options that are *on the menu*!

A complete aside from your post... I'm all for offering healthy options from adults plates for a few years yet! We just started ordering kids meals (except for fast food) in the last year or so. Restaurants don't mind if little ones get an extra plate and there is certainly plenty to share! I think that helped in getting him to like more foods too. I still offer a bite of what I'm eating if it is something new to him (though I have to admit the last thing I offered was fried okra...)

IMHO the most important thing Re: kids and eating is to never ever ever do what our parents did to us. "Clean your plate" is practically child abuse. Never ever ever make a kid eat something he doesn't want to eat.

To this day I struggle with this. Throwing away food just seems wrong, 'cause of the way I was brought up. I'm sure it played a role in the poor eating habits that made me get me so heavy in the first place.

Stop eating when you're satisfied - there is no need to continue eating 'til you're full. Greatest piece of wisdom I ever got, and I still struggle to stick with it. Pass that on to the youngsters and a lot of the other stuff will be NP.