I'm really confused

pandagirlshonerd
pandagirlshonerd Posts: 50 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm really confused about my body image and I don't know what to think about it anymore and I'm kinda having a breakdown about it so don't know what to say so will some of you please please look at my profile, diary is open, and point me in the right direction, PLEASE?
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Replies

  • j75j75
    j75j75 Posts: 854 Member
    Diary is closed
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    Right direction of what? You say in your profile that you don't want to be fat anymore, you want to be skinny but from what I can see, you aren't fat.

    Body image is different to how much you weigh. If you don't feel good about yourself it isn't going to matter how much weight you lose. You need to work on loving yourself and liking what you see. I know that is easier said than done but I think it's more about how you feel about yourself than getting a thigh gap and being skinny...
  • sherrirb
    sherrirb Posts: 1,649 Member
    Your diary is closed.

    Perhaps instead of trying to lose weight (I am 5'5" and would give ANYTHING to be even 30lbs heavier than you are right now!) perhaps you should work on toning your muscles by doing some lifting.

    I think lifting weights would be much more beneficial to you than cardio because I think you would do better sculpting what you have rather than trying to lose weight.

    Just my suggestion anyways. It is worth looking into at least.

    And as for the "thigh-gap" thing... If you never had one, you'll never get one. And at your height and weight, you would have one if that is how your body was built.
  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
    I'm really confused about my body image and I don't know what to think about it anymore and I'm kinda having a breakdown about it so don't know what to say so will some of you please please look at my profile, diary is open, and point me in the right direction, PLEASE?

    Right now your diary actually isn't open to the public. By your stats, though, you aren't overweight at all. Your goal would put you on the edge of being under what's considered healthy. What is your frame size like?
  • javajinny
    javajinny Posts: 78
    In reading your profile, I have to agree with you: you are confused. You already are skinny if your cheek and jaw bones are any indication. I think you're just at a hard age; most of the teen years are fraught with body image issues and bouts of depression. I'm surprised half of us make it out of our teens. And while 18 and 19 aren't as "teenager-y" as 15 and 16, you'll be surprised later in life how still very much like your 16 year-old self your 18 and 19 year-old self was.

    I had much the same problems at your age (only I really was fat, like a size 18, 20, 22). You just have to learn to love yourself and be happy with your body. No one can give that to you; you have to find it in yourself. It took me years. I only really started loving myself around 29ish (and at 32 I still have bouts of the same old emotional junk, just less and less).

    You're pretty. You seem nice, and I bet you're smart and funny. Choose to focus on your good qualities, and stop the negative self-talk. You wouldn't let someone talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself (you know, the "I'm fat, I'm ugly" crap that goes on in our heads; negative self-talk) so don't put up with it from yourself either.
  • gpizzy
    gpizzy Posts: 171
    Body is how you view and feel about yourself. Not what you actually are. Try positive self talk. Stand in front of the mirror every day and tell yourself 3 positive things, heck, do it twice a day. Eventually, you'll start to believe those things. When terrible thoughts sneak in your head, shoo them away.
  • pandagirlshonerd
    pandagirlshonerd Posts: 50 Member
    Thank you guys. I opened my diary to the public, so if you want to have a look and give me more pointers, please do
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    132lbs for your height is not fat.

    I see you want a thigh gap, collar bones etc, why? What difference will those make?
  • DanaMcCrea
    DanaMcCrea Posts: 56 Member
    I really think you should be eating more - and drinking more water.
  • nik2710
    nik2710 Posts: 49 Member
    Need to eat more calories.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    Noticed something you need to be careful about:

    "I want a thigh gap."
    "I want collar bones. "


    *Sometimes* these kinds of things are essentially pushed on young people as 'the look' or the 'must have' or whatever, but often it leads to eating disorders and unhealthy habits. Do not fall into this trap.

    Be HEALTHY. Be SAFE.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    1. You look great

    2. Read this http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it
  • HugzNKissez89
    HugzNKissez89 Posts: 11
    You are beautiful. Many women would kill to be you.
  • pandagirlshonerd
    pandagirlshonerd Posts: 50 Member
    I'm really confused about my body image and I don't know what to think about it anymore and I'm kinda having a breakdown about it so don't know what to say so will some of you please please look at my profile, diary is open, and point me in the right direction, PLEASE?

    Right now your diary actually isn't open to the public. By your stats, though, you aren't overweight at all. Your goal would put you on the edge of being under what's considered healthy. What is your frame size like?

    I'm a size ten (Ireland) so I don't really know what my bone structure is, other than slightly curvy I guess?
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    You are the same height as me, you weigh less than me, and you think you are fat. That's your problem.

    You are also pretty consistently undereating.

    Your goal is to "be able to look at myself and be happy with my body and how it looks instead of shying away from the mirror ." That is something you will have to work on in your head, not by starving yourself.

    Eat more. Exercise more.
  • jennifer_a00
    jennifer_a00 Posts: 186 Member
    I think that the foods that you eat are good foods, but you just need to eat more of it! Try and get to your daily goal! You can still lose a little weight that way, but you won't be under eating. Maybe not getting enough to eat is making you feel down?
  • aaronlawrenc
    aaronlawrenc Posts: 666 Member
    thigh gaps are always a good goal
  • FitBlackChick
    FitBlackChick Posts: 215 Member
    Okay so the first that caught my eye in your diary is "Things I shouldn't Have Eaten". I don't think guilt tripping yourself about having a couple of treats is a very healthy approach. And girl, after seeing your stats, you are not fat at all. And even if you were, I would still encourage you to love yourself and focus on all the positive things about you while working toward a healthier weight. Trust me, there is no connection between body image and the number on the scale. I have a lot of friends who are big girls and who are much happier with themselves than some of my thinner friends. Do this (i.e healthy eating, exercising etc) because you love your body and want to take care of it, not because you hate the way it looks. You are much more likely to stick with this if you have the right attitude :)
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    You are the same height as me, you weigh less than me, and you think you are fat. That's your problem.

    You are also pretty consistently undereating.

    Your goal is to "be able to look at myself and be happy with my body and how it looks instead of shying away from the mirror ." That is something you will have to work on in your head, not by starving yourself.

    Eat more. Exercise more.

    THIS.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    thigh gaps are always a good goal

    Is that what you're aiming for?
  • alethadan
    alethadan Posts: 1
    When I was your age I thought I was fat too. I wasn't and you're not either!! When I got married I thought I was fat. When I graduated college I thought I was fat....goes on and on. Now when I look back at pictures from those time periods in my life I can clearly see that I was not fat and actually look damn good. The thing is.....the older we get the more mature we become and less judgmental of ourselves and others. I don't know why you're confused about your body image. You look go to me and I can't see why you think you need to lose weight. Might want to take a personal inventory and see if your confusion rests with something other than body image.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    You are really low in protein. This can cause your hair to start thinning, as well as losing muscle mass. Try to up that to at least 50g a day, and closer to 100g if you can. You are beautiful. Please take care of yourself so you stay healthy.
  • pandagirlshonerd
    pandagirlshonerd Posts: 50 Member
    Thank you for your comments people. It's a lot to take in but I'll see what happens x
  • turkeyhunter60
    turkeyhunter60 Posts: 319 Member
    Firm up. Nothin' else. Don't live by the scale.
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
    Firm up. Nothin' else. Don't live by the scale.

    This....
  • ThisGirl2013
    ThisGirl2013 Posts: 220 Member
    I would focus on eating healthy. Stay away from sugar and bad carbs - that sort of thing. Depression can make you think really off the wall, crazy bad thoughts. I know. I have been there. You become obsessed about weight, finances, other things that really aren't that big of a deal when your head is in a good place. Drink lots of water. Work out, even if it is just a 30 min walk. Being active and eating well will help immensely with your depression.
    Also, take a look at other people with your measurements to really recognize what you look like.
    It gives perspective.
    For instance I am 5'6" - in the pics on my profile I weighed close to 150. I don't think I looked terrible. Yes, I am losing weight but that is to help me feel good!
    Also, my sister always coveted my legs. She suffers bad body image - which I think you are experiencing as well. I wrapped a tape measure around my thigh and told her to do the same. She was an entire inch SMALLER than me.
    She almost started crying because she wanted to look like me and yet she was SMALLER than me!
    It really is fascinating, almost in a sad way, how we perceive ourselves.
    Don't let yourself teeter on this disorder. Nip it in the bud! Get healthy for the RIGHT reasons and the rest will fall in to place. Mental and physical!
  • SandraJN
    SandraJN Posts: 305 Member
    In reading your profile, I have to agree with you: you are confused. You already are skinny if your cheek and jaw bones are any indication. I think you're just at a hard age; most of the teen years are fraught with body image issues and bouts of depression. I'm surprised half of us make it out of our teens. And while 18 and 19 aren't as "teenager-y" as 15 and 16, you'll be surprised later in life how still very much like your 16 year-old self your 18 and 19 year-old self was.

    I had much the same problems at your age (only I really was fat, like a size 18, 20, 22). You just have to learn to love yourself and be happy with your body. No one can give that to you; you have to find it in yourself. It took me years. I only really started loving myself around 29ish (and at 32 I still have bouts of the same old emotional junk, just less and less).

    You're pretty. You seem nice, and I bet you're smart and funny. Choose to focus on your good qualities, and stop the negative self-talk. You wouldn't let someone talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself (you know, the "I'm fat, I'm ugly" crap that goes on in our heads; negative self-talk) so don't put up with it from yourself either.

    Agree.
  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
    I'm really confused about my body image and I don't know what to think about it anymore and I'm kinda having a breakdown about it so don't know what to say so will some of you please please look at my profile, diary is open, and point me in the right direction, PLEASE?

    Right now your diary actually isn't open to the public. By your stats, though, you aren't overweight at all. Your goal would put you on the edge of being under what's considered healthy. What is your frame size like?

    I'm a size ten (Ireland) so I don't really know what my bone structure is, other than slightly curvy I guess?

    This link has a pretty good calculator for figuring goal weights, and it has a link on the page for calculating your frame size.

    http://www.self.com/calculatorsprograms/calculators/happyweight

    This one is a song I want you to listen to.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3GkSo3ujSY (In case the link doesn't work where you are, It's Perfect by P!nk.)

    My thinking is that you'd do best focusing on your self-esteem, rather than weight.
  • purple_furry_aubergine
    purple_furry_aubergine Posts: 22
    Hun, you're beautiful, the fat you see in the mirror is massively distorted by your depression and negative body image. Getting yourself sorted in that department is far more important than losing weight right now, I hope you're actively in contact with your doctor regarding this. I've had depression since my early teens, growing up with it was torture, and it's only now 15 years later I'm getting to grips with sorting out the mess it's made of my psyche.

    I'm a newbie all this, but I had a flick through your diary, and the thing that made me physically unable to not comment on your post (I really don't post much, I'm entirely unqualified to give advice) was your food note entry on 27/02, when you bashed yourself for snacking on ice cream and a kit kat because you "were so hungry" after logging about 600 calories for the day and burning more than that in excercise. Food is not the enemy, you NEED to eat hun, it isn't just an unecessary compulsion that only weak willed people give in to, it's what fuels all the amazing things our bodies do every second of every day, and keeps us alive and healthy. The calorie goal in your diary isn't a limit, it's a target, if you eat more in general you may find you don't have such intense cravings for sweet food and bread. But even if you do want them, eat them, you're not going to balloon on the back of one cookie, as long as one cookie one day doesn't turn into a packet of cookies every day!

    I really hope you find some relief from somewhere. x
  • Sunka1
    Sunka1 Posts: 217 Member
    I struggle with the same thing you are going through only not as intense once I discovered how good it feels to feed your body. Especially good fats. our brains are like 70% fat (I think). It was life changing for me to stop being afraid of fats, calories, and whole foods in general. I know it is scary and difficult to imagine that food could go from being the enemy to being your greatest ally but that is the key. Check out the book The Diet Cure. IT really saved me. Hopefully it will be of some use to you.

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