HELP

rachyruu
rachyruu Posts: 25
in Motivation and Support
So right now I am sitting here crying my eyes out with no appetite and severe stomach pains, my boyfriend of 2 years wants to break up its killing me. He was my motivation I dont know what to do now? someone help me :'(

Replies

  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    Ok...the severe stomach pains could be a tummy flu that's been going around EVERYWHERE! Do you have IBS? When I get stressed out I get really bad stomach pains.

    As for the breakup, I'm very sorry. I've been thru my share, including a divorce, and now I just don't date lol.

    You can't do this for anyone else but YOURSELF! If you're doing it for anyone else, you are placing contingencies on it and will not succeed. Ie: "if I get married, I will lose 10lbs". Never works!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    your problem was relying on someone else for motivation. i'm sorry that he is breaking up with you. but you need to realize that the only way you'll succeed at this is if you decide to do this for yourself.
  • maegmez
    maegmez Posts: 341 Member
    I'm so sorry he is breaking your heart but you should never lose weight for a guy. You need to get healthy for YOU. You will heal and move on and there is a very special guy out there that will be your rock.

    Hugs
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
    your problem was relying on someone else for motivation. i'm sorry that he is breaking up with you. but you need to realize that the only way you'll succeed at this is if you decide to do this for yourself.


    Yep.
  • rachyruu
    rachyruu Posts: 25
    It was for myself its just he was inspiration to me, god this is killing me I cant stop crying. I dont want to lose him, we have both done nothing wrong he says I'm too good for him, what kind of excuse is that? I'm so hurt I feel like crap the whole reason I was doing this was to stop feeling insecure now thats just been amplified.

    I have IBS but its never been this bad so I dont know what is causing the stomach pains.
  • anaquay
    anaquay Posts: 150 Member
    If he wants to break up with you then let him go, it will not be a good relationship if one of you doesn't want to be in it - and I speak from experience. Use the fact that when you've lost your weight, got fit and are bursting with confidence, he's going to see he's made a big mistake in leaving you. Don't ever do anything for anyone else, do this for yourself. It may take some time but you CAN succeed and when you're a super hot confident babe and he comes sniffing around again, it will be up to you to decide if he's good enough for you.

    Add me as a friend if you like and I'll support you as much as I can.
  • anaquay
    anaquay Posts: 150 Member
    he says I'm too good for him, what kind of excuse is that?

    Don't let him shift the blame onto you, he's obviously feeling bad and doesn't want to hurt you any more than he already is but this really is a ****ty excuse.

    You are worth more than this, you've got to believe in yourself (and I know it's hard) and tell him you will not accept anything more than the truth (which will hurt) but don't let him get away with it being your fault for being too good for him.
  • rachyruu
    rachyruu Posts: 25
    If he wants to break up with you then let him go, it will not be a good relationship if one of you doesn't want to be in it - and I speak from experience. Use the fact that when you've lost your weight, got fit and are bursting with confidence, he's going to see he's made a big mistake in leaving you. Don't ever do anything for anyone else, do this for yourself. It may take some time but you CAN succeed and when you're a super hot confident babe and he comes sniffing around again, it will be up to you to decide if he's good enough for you.

    Add me as a friend if you like and I'll support you as much as I can.

    I added you, it hurts so much, see our relationship is long distance, but we have been together two years, I even moved to another country for 9 months for him. He says he still loves me and cares about me then how can he let this go, especially when none of us have done nothing wrong, no cheating, no lying I dont know what to do. We both used to want the same things, only last week he was talking about our future. I dont know what happened :'( this is killing me.... Thing is once its over thats it I will never let him contact me ever again so he wont get no second chance or even a chance to see me when I'm done with my weight loss... I'm really depressed right now, I cant eat!
  • anaquay
    anaquay Posts: 150 Member
    If it's a long distance relationship he may be worried that once you've lost weight and become super confident, you'll leave him. Try to talk to him and get to the bottom of what is really bothering him. I'm having a long distance relationship myself and it isn't easy, my bloke has no self-confidence and he worries that I'll leave him but I'm doing my best to convince him otherwise. He's only about 5 hours away from me but I still only get to see him every 6 to 8 weeks but we speak on the phone every day.

    Try to eat a little something, even if it's only a piece of fruit or an energy bar. If your blood sugar falls too low it will make you feel worse.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    He may not have cheated, but he probably met someone and doesn't want to hurt you by telling you that. Especially if everything was fine last week. Long distance relationships are insanely hard to maintain. It's surprising you made it 2 years.

    Sweety, you are young and beautiful. It's going to hurt, but it will get better. And you'll hear that a thousand times, and it will never help any one of those thousand times. The pain will run its course, and then one day you will wake up and realize you are okay.

    We are all fitness and health minded around here, and so the advice is going to come to "not let this derail you" and other such things. Well, it just might. If you're worried about that, use your routine as a distraction. It might be the only time for a little while, that you can take your mind off of what you're going through.
  • rachyruu
    rachyruu Posts: 25
    I know he hasn't met anyone else, he gets really upset anytime we have an argument he feels bad about the way hes treating me. He has a lot going on in his life and he says the relationship isn't one of his priorities and hes sick of hurting me and seeing me cry (I'm not a crybaby or anything).

    He thinks I am too good for him because I treat him well and he struggles to find time for us to talk (long distance and he works awkward shifts) but hes been doing good at finding the time to talk and even message me I don't pressure him either . I just don't understand. We are going to talk later when he gets home, but its knowing it could be the last time I speak to him it really feels like my hearts breaking there is this feeling of hurt inside me.

    Everything around me is a constant reminder of him, I flew halfway across the globe twice to be with him once was for 9 months... he has been here too hes met my family and friends. I wish I could switch off my emotions and not care or just disappear and not come back.

    Its so stressful we where best friends before so not only am I losing my boyfriend I am also losing the guy I thought was my soul mate ( at 24 I felt that he was going to be the one) and I'm losing my best friend, this literally is killing me.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,392 Member
    I think you have to let him go. All broken hearts mend, even if it seems like it never will.


    There will be someone else for you. Just take it one day at a time. That's all any of us can do when this happens.

    Breakups are excruciatingly painful. Try to write about it in a journal on your computer. That's what helped me the most when I had my last breakup. You can say everything that you didn't get to say to him, and you can be brutally honest :tongue: Internet forums are not always the most supportive of places when you are this sensitive.
  • SoozeE512
    SoozeE512 Posts: 439 Member
    I went through a similar break-up when I was 21. After a year and a half, he told me I was too good for him and he broke up with me. He was going through a lot of stuff of his own and working weird hours. I cried my eyes out a lot after the break-up and felt sick to my stomach for at least a couple of weeks.

    But I refused to let the break-up get me down. I started going to the gym and eating healthier meals (though snacking on lots of chocolate! lol), and even though I still had an occasional cry over all the things that I missed about him, I felt so much better about myself, and I lost about 13 pounds and gained a lot of strength in the following month and a half. And people took notice, I got a lot of positive attention after that. I actually got my body to be the healthiest it's been in my adult life. (Of course, that was years ago when I was in college...a lot has happened since then and now I'm back to needing to lose weight!)

    But the point is, it's funny what you can do for yourself when you're not always going out of your way for someone else. Go out of your way for yourself!

    It's understandable to grieve over a break-up, and getting over someone can take a lot of time, but where you go from here is just a matter of adjusting your mental attitude toward yourself. This break-up doesn't have to be "literally killing you", it could be "literally a great new beginning".

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