Am I sexy or not damnit!!!!

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135

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  • Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door
    Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door Posts: 735 Member
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    this
    To be honest, all the "gaining it back" talk sounds crazy. You just worked to lose weight and you're gonna undo it because you aren't hearing what you want? Tone it down a notch, maybe he won't be so scared to compliment you.

    ^^This...totally agree with this.

    don't gain the weight back because a man doesn't tell you look good. you need to remember to do this for you not for him. remember whatever you do for a guy in a relationship you will have to keep doing that to maintain it. be happy with who you are. I went from 250 to 178 pounds. I don't have anyone tell me I look good but it doesn't bother me i am doing it for me.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
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    Goddess creation at its best
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    He thinks you looked good 10 pounds ago, and he thinks you look good now.. Still doesn't explain to me why you think he's "sabotaging" you...

    Sounds to me like YOU'RE the one who needs a mindset change,

    Exactly this^^
  • victorialkay
    victorialkay Posts: 70
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    All men are d-bags. DTMFA is the only appropriate answer in these situations.

    That's not fair to say really, generalising with "men are better at DIY" and "women are better at doing 2 things at once" is silly! Man or woman, everyone is different and deals with things in different ways.

    As a woman, I think we should defo just concentrate on how we feel about ourselves and not concentrate on what our partners think. Our fella's will find us more attractive with a little more confidence in ourselves anywho!!

    Hope al works out for you and you can learn to not read into things, like comments your fella makes or the tone he uses when he says these things. xx
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
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    1. See a therapist, if you think you're getting sabotaged and you want to just let it all go, there's something to be worked out.
    2. If you have any friends, talk to them about.
    3. Talk to your husband about it.

    This last one might not be for everyone. It's just an idea..
    4. Make a dating profile for somewhere distant from you, not necessarily to date, but to get some attention.

    seriously one of your 'answers' is to make a dating profile for attention... that's emotional cheating (at least in my books). If that is where the feelings lead to, either couple couselling or just leave.

    "Emotional cheating"??? Pmsl
    Really. And his approach was way too passive. At least I am direct about my motives:

    "Send me a friend request. Teddy and I will smother you with compliments. MFP messages work best, IMO. I've got the time and I've got the right words to help you stay motivated and feel good about yourself. And I still have room on my dance card " lol

    Hard to tell what is going on here - but we are in the Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games section... my bullshyte meter is starting to move :smokin:
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
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    He sounds like a real peach. I can't believe you'd put up with someone who keeps you up at night by talking in his sleep, regardless of what he says about your hotness.
    Omg you're right!! I'm not even going mention the other stuff he does at night to keep me awake! Thanks for your thoughtful insight:). So glad I got all this awesome advice so that I can finally find the strength to move on! :)
    Bullshyte meter just ticked up to yellow. Are you for real, dear?
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
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    My husband is currently sleeping but not talking. Should I be worried?
    Ha ha!
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
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    He sounds like a real peach. I can't believe you'd put up with someone who keeps you up at night by talking in his sleep, regardless of what he says about your hotness.
    Omg you're right!! I'm not even going mention the other stuff he does at night to keep me awake! Thanks for your thoughtful insight:). So glad I got all this awesome advice so that I can finally find the strength to move on! :)

    Awwwwwww! I wanna hear about the other stuff he does to keep you awake at night! And go ahead and throw in the stuff he does to keep you awake when you're trying to nap in the afternoon!:wink::wink: :wink: :flowerforyou: :drinker: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Count yourself lucky that your dh appreciates you at any weight. A certain part of my dh's anatomy made it very clear that losing 20lb was sexy to him, but when I lost another 10lb, apparently I'd been 'chubby' back then.

    Men's mouth's and brains don't always express them best... (ditto women's)
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
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    I'm sorry, I'm not partial to sharing personal relationship stuff online with strangers:p
  • AmandaW01
    AmandaW01 Posts: 138
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    Mine just talks about things being on shelves - or the best one 'look out, its a monster'.... at least yours tells you you're hot in his sleep!!

    On that note though, my beloved told me I was a bit 'wobbly' and that if I still looked like that (like I did was I was mid twenties before kids, marriage etc) then he'd not be able to keep his hands off me - I lost 4 stone (about 60 pounds) - he still kept his hands off me, I was too thin and gaunt apparently, so it went on again (I let it get to me), then off again.... then on again (I quit smoking and injured myself), now its very very slowly coming off again. The difference this time is that I really am doing it for me, I'm also strength training (his face when I got a barbell and dumbbells and joined the gym :-) ) I want to look how I want to look, not how he wants me to look (god knows!) and I want to be slim, fit, ripped, defined and feel good about myself. I'm early 40s now so will never be 'sexy' or 'hot' I don't suppose, but I am determined to look my best :-)
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
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    Mine just talks about things being on shelves - or the best one 'look out, its a monster'.... at least yours tells you you're hot in his sleep!!

    On that note though, my beloved told me I was a bit 'wobbly' and that if I still looked like that (like I did was I was mid twenties before kids, marriage etc) then he'd not be able to keep his hands off me - I lost 4 stone (about 60 pounds) - he still kept his hands off me, I was too thin and gaunt apparently, so it went on again (I let it get to me), then off again.... then on again (I quit smoking and injured myself), now its very very slowly coming off again. The difference this time is that I really am doing it for me, I'm also strength training (his face when I got a barbell and dumbbells and joined the gym :-) ) I want to look how I want to look, not how he wants me to look (god knows!) and I want to be slim, fit, ripped, defined and feel good about myself. I'm early 40s now so will never be 'sexy' or 'hot' I don't suppose, but I am determined to look my best :-)

    You and I will be hot hot Amanda's at fifty!!!! You with me on this?
  • AmandaW01
    AmandaW01 Posts: 138
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    Mine just talks about things being on shelves - or the best one 'look out, its a monster'.... at least yours tells you you're hot in his sleep!!

    On that note though, my beloved told me I was a bit 'wobbly' and that if I still looked like that (like I did was I was mid twenties before kids, marriage etc) then he'd not be able to keep his hands off me - I lost 4 stone (about 60 pounds) - he still kept his hands off me, I was too thin and gaunt apparently, so it went on again (I let it get to me), then off again.... then on again (I quit smoking and injured myself), now its very very slowly coming off again. The difference this time is that I really am doing it for me, I'm also strength training (his face when I got a barbell and dumbbells and joined the gym :-) ) I want to look how I want to look, not how he wants me to look (god knows!) and I want to be slim, fit, ripped, defined and feel good about myself. I'm early 40s now so will never be 'sexy' or 'hot' I don't suppose, but I am determined to look my best :-)

    You and I will be hot hot Amanda's at fifty!!!! You with me on this?

    You're on! :-) I didn't check your profile so didn't see your age - you are now my new inspiration! :-D
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
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    Perhaps he loves you regardless and it doesn't matter if you lose weight or not, he loves you for you and thinks your sexy whatever.

    I'm not sure badgering him about it is the way to go...surely it's about how you feel about yourself?
  • deathbypretzel
    deathbypretzel Posts: 45
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    You look fine.

    You already know he thinks you're hot because he talks in his sleep about it, so I guess I don't understand what the problem is, or how that could POSSIBLY be "sabotaging" you.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    When my fiance talks in his sleep all I learn is that there are sugar gliders all over the house running around.

    I guess I am not asking the right questions.

    I talk abut rats on the ceiling. must be some dream theme with small mammals in the house.
  • RegalSeagull
    RegalSeagull Posts: 37
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    1. See a therapist, if you think you're getting sabotaged and you want to just let it all go, there's something to be worked out.
    2. If you have any friends, talk to them about.
    3. Talk to your husband about it.

    This last one might not be for everyone. It's just an idea..
    4. Make a dating profile for somewhere distant from you, not necessarily to date, but to get some attention.

    seriously one of your 'answers' is to make a dating profile for attention... that's emotional cheating (at least in my books). If that is where the feelings lead to, either couple couselling or just leave.

    Oh I suppose masturbating to someone else is sexual cheating then? lol Also notice I said "this isn't for everyone". There's a reason it's at the bottom of the list with a maybe sign. You didn't have much to say about people friending her for pity compliments though?
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    Yes Mandy and

    your funny
    your kind
    thoughtful
    random
    lovely
    fit/lean

    [img]http://i820.photobucket.com/albums/zz122/lovepink5396/Family Guy/sexy.jpg[/img]
  • RegalSeagull
    RegalSeagull Posts: 37
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    Your husband may have self esteem issues himself too, that could be holding him back from communicating to you about your looks.

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