Goal setting - I don't *want* to be skinny!
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aim for a higher range of healthy bmi, and acceptable range of body fat %, chances are, you shall be at your goal body shape.do your own research, internet is a nice tool when handled with reason and prudence. good luck.
edited to add, bones sticking out has got lotta do with your genes, i'm 5'2.5" and 170 lbs:blushing: yet my coller bone, a little bit of hip bone stick out, my neck , ankles and wrists are skinny!( and i like rounded arms , so lovely with bangles)..0 -
This. I set a goal based on where I thought I wouldn't have too many wrinkles. Then when I got there, I decided I wanted to go lower. Changed my goal 2 more times, then when I got to "goal" kept losing while I tried to figure out how much I needed to eat to maintain. Settled at what became goal #4. I like it here even tho some consider me "skinny." Just keep going until you are happy.
On the other hand, isn't this just a form of letting vanity determine your size, too? How do I determine what's healthy vs. what I find attractive?
When you get to a point where you look in a mirror and like what you see, you've reached goal. There's really no big deal about setting a magical number right now. Set your goal somewhere in the general vicinity of where you think you want to be and work to get to it. As you get closer, you'll make adjustments either in your program or to the GW that you set.
Goal weight is just a random number we pull out of the sky. Don't spend much time worrying about random numbers.0 -
My collarbones, rib bones and hip bones protrude no matter what I weigh. I have big bones. And I'm a single digit size. Guess I'm a hideous monster. :sad: Oh why did I open this thread?0
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She never said that, though. Did you not read? She said skinny may look healthy on you. It's right there.
Ok I admit I missed the "on me" part....but I kind of think that people tag "on me" onto the end of a sentence just to deflect that they actually ARE being judgemental of that look in general. It's just a underhand way of saying that they really think - just saying!
Not really.
I find that women with muscles can be very beautiful [I picked this because I don't know anyone who has their goal to be really thin, but I do know some who want to build muscles]. But it's not something I would like to have for my own body. It's a personal preference. Same with being any shape at all that someone sets their goal as.
I have my own person goal that I think would work "on me" and there's nothing wrong with that. Just like there's nothing wrong with someone else having a different goal. It's not judgmental, it's knowing what you want for your own body.0 -
She didn't say ALL skinny girls are gross and have bones sticking out everywhere. She said SHE doesn't want to be "super-skinny" and "have bones sticking out". I sincerely doubt she meant all skinny women look like that. I think she just meant to say she doesn't want to look emaciated, which isn't healthy for ANYONE, and she wasn't sure what she should set for her goal weight. She didn't say nobody's bones should stick out. She just doesn't want HERS to stick out, so she wants help finding a goal weight range that would leave just enough padding to prevent that.
I kind of get what she's saying because there are people who sort of crinkle their nose when I say my goal weight is 157. They say, "Isn't that a bit too much for your height? Shouldn't it be 125-130?" No, because 125-130 on my frame and body type would make me look emaciated. The OP phrased it as "super-skinny with bones sticking out", but it was easy for me to figure out what she meant, mostly because we have the same body type and I get where she's coming from. I think it was just a misunderstanding.0 -
oh no, your abs will atone for any " boney sin",cheer up Gigibeans:drinker:My collarbones, rib bones and hip bones protrude no matter what I weigh. I have big bones. And I'm a single digit size. Guess I'm a hideous monster. :sad: Oh why did I open this thread?0 -
Ok I admit I missed the "on me" part....but I kind of think that people tag "on me" onto the end of a sentence just to deflect that they actually ARE being judgemental of that look in general. It's just a underhand way of saying that they really think - just saying!
Not really. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.0 -
Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
In an attempt to explain what you desire for yourself, you insulted so many people with the above statement. Was that really necessary? I am small. I have prominent collar and hip bones, I was just built that way. I also have the unfortunate tendency for being small breasted, but I deal. I wear a size 4/6. And yet, I am not super skinny. I don't think I look so bad, but according to you, I must be hideous. I'm supportive of your goal to look & feel great, but it's hard to not feel insulted when my body type is attacked like that.0 -
I've kept my hourglass curves. Now I am a size 4 hourglass instead of a size 16 hourglass. The only difference is that I was tending toward an apple shape at the top of my weight gain.
I say this just to reinforce the concept that our basic shape/frame doesn't change much except at the unhealthy ends of the spectrum.
I'd look into bmi calculations along with bodyfat percentages.
And unfortunately you won't spot reduce the waist. It only gets smaller as you get smaller all over.0 -
I disagree. The comment about various bones sticking out all over the place was a bit offensive. I'm 5'1" 116 lbs and don't have any bones protruding. I'm skinny AND healthy
I think you are reading that wrong. Those of us who do want to get skinny look for bones as markers of success. We often talk about the appearance of the hip bone. Also, the clavicle. It's just how we discuss our weight loss. I didn't start off fat. I was just at the upper end of a normal weight range. I began where this OP wants to be. I am cutting my body fat to a low level and bones are the markers of success.
I do not think that much fat is attractive. OP does not think so little fat is attractive. End of thing. There is nothing to argue about there.
If you have bones that stick out but didn't try to get them, you are not being discussed.
She's talking about trying to get the bones and how she doesn't want to do that.0 -
No, I'm pretty sure I get what she said. Can you see my bones? Yup, I have hip bones, collar bones, ect., but they are not "sticking out". I didn't have collar bones when I started, so I agree, that is a sign of success. I also have muscle so I don't think I look "boney". I think the OP was worded in an offensive manner is all.I disagree. The comment about various bones sticking out all over the place was a bit offensive. I'm 5'1" 116 lbs and don't have any bones protruding. I'm skinny AND healthy
I think you are reading that wrong. Those of us who do want to get skinny look for bones as markers of success. We often talk about the appearance of the hip bone. Also, the clavicle. It's just how we discuss our weight loss. I didn't start off fat. I was just at the upper end of a normal weight range. I began where this OP wants to be. I am cutting my body fat to a low level and bones are the markers of success.
I do not think that much fat is attractive. OP does not think so little fat is attractive. End of thing. There is nothing to argue about there.
If you have bones that stick out but didn't try to get them, you are not being discussed.
She's talking about trying to get the bones and how she doesn't want to do that.0 -
I prefer some softness too, even a lot of softness. That said, we get the body types that we get, and some people are bony without trying. Some people can be very thin and still not look emaciated. I'd like to be skinnier in some places, and less skinny in others. (Oh the things I do for a flat tummy). The weight I'm at seems to be the best balance for me.0
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Ignoring all the skinny bones distractions....
BMI gets a bit of a bad rap, but it's a fairly good rough guide. I'm aiming to get under a bmi of 25 (nearly there!). After that, I'll work off dress sizes and how I like the look of what I see in the mirror, rather than the number on a scale.0 -
no ones judging skinny people
Actually, yeah. They are.
OP did it, even.have various bones sticking out all over the place
Regardless. I would rather LOOK THIN than be able to do 100 push-ups or run a marathon (or whatever arbitrary fitness goal one determines to make their weight loss goals superior to anyone else's). For me it is about aesthetics. That's not shallow. That's my prerogative. Sticking your nose in the air at that is like asking, "Why don't you want to be a kindergarten teacher in an inner city school to help troubled youth?!" when my career path is engineering. Because I don't. And that's my choice. Why the judgment on my personal values???
Yep. Another thread started with a skinny people suck statement. Good times!
I think that's silly. The OP stated what she wanted for *her* body. She never once said that others didn't look great or should have the same goals as her. Grab some self-esteem and stop inferring things that were never implied. She simply said that it seems to her that her goals were different than most of the other females on MFP. She did NOT say that other people's goals were wrong!
I disagree. The comment about various bones sticking out all over the place was a bit offensive. I'm 5'1" 116 lbs and don't have any bones protruding. I'm skinny AND healthy
That's wonderful for you. The OP wasn't talking about you. She was talking about herself!0 -
My collarbones, rib bones and hip bones protrude no matter what I weigh. I have big bones. And I'm a single digit size. Guess I'm a hideous monster. :sad: Oh why did I open this thread?
Quit making this about *YOU* !!!!!!
Self-centered much?0 -
Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
In an attempt to explain what you desire for yourself, you insulted so many people with the above statement. Was that really necessary? I am small. I have prominent collar and hip bones, I was just built that way. I also have the unfortunate tendency for being small breasted, but I deal. I wear a size 4/6. And yet, I am not super skinny. I don't think I look so bad, but according to you, I must be hideous. I'm supportive of your goal to look & feel great, but it's hard to not feel insulted when my body type is attacked like that.
If you were insulted, that says more about you than the OP. My elbows are bony, and so are my fingers, yet I did not take offense.
Why isn't it ok for people to have different goals?0 -
No, I'm pretty sure I get what she said. Can you see my bones? Yup, I have hip bones, collar bones, ect., but they are not "sticking out". I didn't have collar bones when I started, so I agree, that is a sign of success. I also have muscle so I don't think I look "boney". I think the OP was worded in an offensive manner is all.
Of course you don't think you look bony. You want to be at that weight. She might actually look at you and think you are bony. On account of how she doesn't find that look attractive.
She said she finds it unattractive and her wording reflects that.0 -
Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
In an attempt to explain what you desire for yourself, you insulted so many people with the above statement. Was that really necessary? I am small. I have prominent collar and hip bones, I was just built that way. I also have the unfortunate tendency for being small breasted, but I deal. I wear a size 4/6. And yet, I am not super skinny. I don't think I look so bad, but according to you, I must be hideous. I'm supportive of your goal to look & feel great, but it's hard to not feel insulted when my body type is attacked like that.
If you were insulted, that says more about you than the OP. My elbows are bony, and so are my fingers, yet I did not take offense.
Why isn't it ok for people to have different goals?
I'm starting to like you more and more, hahah0 -
Well I'm fit and healthy...and skinny!
I even have hip bones and collar bones that 'stick out' *gasp*0 -
if you want a "healthy weight" look at BMI chart and body fat % charts to calculate what you want . . . but don't judge or downgrade those of us who push beyond the upper limits of those charts, because that's what WE find attractive- just like you would take offense to someone writing "I don't want fat rolls or a muffin top hanging out" or "people who wear double digit jeans are unattractive" many people also take offense to the reverse- don't put others down to feel better about what you have decided is your goal . . . they've decided a goal and are working towards that you work towards yours . . . . oh and single digit jeans DOES NOT mean bones sticking out0
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How is saying "I don't want..." being insulting to what someone else might want? Surely that's a mature acceptance of self determined goals, without denigrating anyone else's?0
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I am not to sure what the proper weight is for me(I am 5'4, 33 years old) but my first goal is to get to 150 from my starting weight of 233. Right now I am around 224.0
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How is saying "I don't want..." being insulting to what someone else might want? Surely that's a mature acceptance of self determined goals, without denigrating anyone else's?
Yes, that's how mature, well-adjusted adults would view it.0 -
For myself I want to be healthy and feel good about myself, but I have no idea where that is weight wise. Currently I'm aiming for the middle of my healthy BMI but if I get to 170-160ish and like the way I look and feel, I'm done. I think I'll have a better idea as I get closer.0
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How is saying "I don't want..." being insulting to what someone else might want? Surely that's a mature acceptance of self determined goals, without denigrating anyone else's?
Yes, that's how mature, well-adjusted adults would view it.
Alternatively she could just say what she wants to achieve...that would make much more sense than writing how she doesn't want bones sticking out and single digit jeans like most women on mfp.0 -
Edit: nvm, not worth discussing any longer0
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Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
In an attempt to explain what you desire for yourself, you insulted so many people with the above statement. Was that really necessary? I am small. I have prominent collar and hip bones, I was just built that way. I also have the unfortunate tendency for being small breasted, but I deal. I wear a size 4/6. And yet, I am not super skinny. I don't think I look so bad, but according to you, I must be hideous. I'm supportive of your goal to look & feel great, but it's hard to not feel insulted when my body type is attacked like that.
If you were insulted, that says more about you than the OP. My elbows are bony, and so are my fingers, yet I did not take offense.
Why isn't it ok for people to have different goals?
Ok. Let's try this. What if I take the OP's first sentence and changed it up in the opposite direction:
Trying to work on maintaining my weight, and I've come to the realization that like seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be obese, fitting into plus size clothing and have various lumps and rolls sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
^^Is this offensive? I think it is.0 -
I don't want to be scrawny either! My sister has been dropping weight and has gone from a size 10 to a size 0. I think she is way too skinny, but I love her so I don't say anything. She thinks I'm too fat and doesn't pick on me about it
. I want to be a size 12 because I feel good there and look good there. I'm a 14 right now.
I want to be healthy as well. My Mom is diabetic, several of my family members have high blood pressure and stints/arteriosclerosis. My motivation is pretty much to avoid diabetes and stroking out at 50. I've already got the warning signs of high blood pressure. My doc made it clear my last visit that the weight needs to come off and stay off. However, she is the first doc that actually acknowledged the fact that I'm 5'10" and have football player shoulders. She talked about the fact that the regular BMI/weight scale does not fit my build and is not realistic for me.
I've lost the weight before, but I don't keep it off. I fall right back into my bad eating habits once I get to where I want to be. I am really going to try to keep using My Fitness Pal even after I get to 175 #'s. I keep trying to convice myself that I love salads more than bread. Truly, most of my problems with weight stem from overeating/overly large portion sizes.0 -
How is saying "I don't want..." being insulting to what someone else might want? Surely that's a mature acceptance of self determined goals, without denigrating anyone else's?
This.
I get what the OP is saying.
I joined MFP with the goal of losing 5-7 pounds and maintaining my previous 45 pound weight loss..Then I started reading the fitness goals of some other women my age and height and thought "Wow,I'm way too fat".
Now,I really just want to feel good. I have people who depend on me and my health is more important .I'm way to old to be having the same self doubt I had when I was 16.
It's best to just go with how you feel and ignore others goals.
To each her own.0 -
Wow, if I'd realised how much fuss this was going to cause, I'd never have started.
All you ladies who personally like the skinny look and have achieved it, well done! And to those trying to get there, good luck. We all know losing weight is hard. If it's truly the way you feel best, good for you for figuring it out.
But this isn't about you, I'm afraid. I doubt it would look attractive on me. I was a really skinny kid and prefer to have muscles and boobs and so on. Naturally, I still want to be healthy, so I'm trying to find a goal that isn't "as small as possible".
If my making different life choices to the rest of you is an insult, I'd better not tell you that I'm a vegetarian (*gasp* how dare I insult meat eaters) or that I enjoy spending the weekends in drag. 13th century drag, to be precise...
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